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    • Y’all ever think animals get bored of doing shit like that, I mean what’s a noon gonna do for 3 centuries in the arctic
      d_b_69 26 jul
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    • Maybe that is why fish wash a shore. like whales, maybe they’re trying to commit suicide because they’re tired of roaming the ocean nonstop for so long and their cries of pain are to tell us to leave them be to die in peace.
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    • Out here since 1627 tryna get my dick sucked
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    • They cut the shark in half and counted the rings to find out how old it was
      kanep0e 29 jul
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    • Grandpa shark doo doo
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    • The Greenland shark has the longest known lifespan of all vertebrate species.[23] One Greenland shark was tagged off the coast of Greenland in 1936 and recaptured in 1952. Its measurements suggest that Greenland sharks grow at a rate of 0.5–1 cm (0.2–0.4 in) per year.[24] In 2016, a study based on 2
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    • How did they know? Did they cut its dick off and count the rings?
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    • DolansASS 28 jul
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    • Hol up I’ve been waiting to spew these facts: they can live over 400 yrs. they’re usually blind. The only way to eat them (poisoning) is to let’s them rot. Vikings did this to preserve food. It’s called Putrid shark, Icelandic delicacy
      overalls 28 jul
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    • For those of you who keep asking how the fuck do people know how old he is, heres how they know, all they did was ask him and the shark told him how old he was
      ABM5555 27 jul
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    • This shark is chasing you for the rest of your life and if it touches you, you die a terrible death.
      rguy9898 1 aug
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    • Did some research, its true. It's even possible that one from the group they studied could be up to 512 years old. That's fuckin crazy
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    • I know this bouta sound super nerdy but think of all the stuff this guy lived through. American Revolution, Civil War, Both world wars and everything that happened since the 1600s and he’s just down there big chillin
      devn08 28 jul
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    • How do they know the age?
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    • Shark that’s older than America
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    • Through the which trails and everything what the fuck
      3pac 28 jul
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    • Bad headlines. LiveScience explained that theres no way to get an exact age on a shark that hasn't been closely monitored and that tissue samples taken showed the shark could be anywhere from 272 years to 512 years.
      jakel05 28 jul
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    • The sharks lifespan is 400 years. They dont reach sexual maturity until they're 150 years old. Could you imagine waiting 150 years for some pussy
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    • Found article, they scan carbon isotopes inthe tissue of their eyes "The tissue gave them a range for the sharks' ages — they were at least 272 years old, and as much as 512 years old." Which the middle of those #s would be 392.
      tmims 28 jul
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    • How they know it's age? Did they ask for it's ID?
      SublmnL 28 jul
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    • This shark was alive during the Salem witch trials, crazy to think about
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    • How did they know tho? They must’ve asked him
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    • Just remember Ming the clam was 507 years old and died because some researchers opened it for observation
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    • Hol up, they just being lazy, which is what humans enjoy. We're hypocrites
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    • The extreme cold of the water slows growth of animals and plant. A 4 inch sea star can take like 10 years to grow
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    • This noon was around when america was still 13 colonies
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    • Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes
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    • Loads gun with scientific intent
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    • These things dont reach sexual maturity until they are 150 years old... imagine being a child for 150 years.
      Natelav 27 jul
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    • The don has come to warn us. 😅
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    • This shark is older than America
      kussImmak 30 jul
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    • Almost 400 years of minding his own business, then, BAM, a tourist in a wetsuit blows his cover..
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    • noon is older than the US
      IHateZz 29 jul
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    • That shark is older than the United States like wtf
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    • noon definitely tried to fuck a submarine when they were invented
      Bantelope 28 jul
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    • How tf can you tell a fish is 392 fucking years old if you just discovered it was there
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    • Did he have a birth certificate? Who carded that shark?
      hoopla75 28 jul
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    • How'd they figure out the shark's age, though?
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    • How tf you figure out the age of a wild shark?
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    • It’s older than USA
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    • How to you determine a living creature’s age without harming it?
      billuman 28 jul
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    • This noon was around when the black plague was dying down.
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    • They use radiocarbon dating of the isotopes found in the sharks eye tissue, but the method is very inaccurate and only provides a range of the shark’s possible age. Not a specific number like many people say it does
      SeaSnek 28 jul
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    • Makes me wonder if how human's lifespans are constantly getting longer is a bad thing. I wouldn't want to be that old and weak and slow just because I can. I'd rather die at a more comfortable age
      Phaage 27 jul
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    • Y’all noons talking about this shark being bored like it has the same brain functions and thinking we do. It’s a fucking shark
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    • Oh his snail mad af 🐌 🦈
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    • Looks like its dead
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    • Greenland sharks are believed to be able to live to nearly 2000 years old
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    • Yo pls don’t touch this shark for fuck sake.
      hime_ 29 jul
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    • This shark probably ate a couple people from the titanic
      nazpoato 28 jul
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    • How do they know? Did they check its drivers license or something?
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    • Not trying to be that guy... but he looks like shit
      Grada 28 jul
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    • Bitch, how the fuck do people figure out how old anything is??? Blows my mind.
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    • It’s actually pretty wild, there’s a parasite in the waters that slowly takes the sharks eyesights and the shark goes 2/3 of its life not being able to see
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    • We know because we cut it in half and counted the rings
      craig7979 28 jul
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    • This shark survived the American Revolutionary War, the War of 1812, the American Civil War, both World Wars, and other recent historical events. If it’s true, anyway.
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    • Think about this. This shark is almost 100 years older than the U.S
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    • Fun fact: most Greenland sharks are blind due to a parasitic copepod (a sort of crustacean). Remarkably, this doesn’t appear to affect the sharks much at all.
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    • How da duck day knows this? Cut it in half and count the rings? noonga....
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    • *George Washington sailing* “ooo look a shark” *Obama whale watching* “ooo look a shark” SAME FUCKING SHARK
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    • They measured the radiocarbon in the core of the sharks eye. That tells them what the environment was like when they were born. They compare it to radiocarbon levels throughout history, combine that with the sharks length (they grow slowly apparently) and boom. You have an estimate of the sharks age
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    • Grandpa shark do do do
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    • Wait they found it ALIVE not in some ice berg all captain America style
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    • 512 years old. It’s believed to grow 1cm per yer. So they measured it to come up with that number. Idk at what size it’s slows to 1cm. Google it if you care that much.
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    • That’s actually really interesting, too bad this meme is pure, unadulterated ass
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    • Are you sure that crippled husk of a living being is still alive. It looks like a raisin.
      godunlike 30 jul
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    • He's seen some shit
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    • Bet he gives a mean bj
      apro69447 29 jul
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    • This shark older than most countries wtf
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    • Greenland sharks also don’t reach sexual maturity till around 150 years old too
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    • His age is too fucking specific
      kopetsky 28 jul
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    • The way they know his age was to cut him up and count the circles!
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    • How they know how old he is? They just swim up and ask him for his birth certificate or what?
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    • How the fuck do they know how old it is?
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    • Slavery was happening and he didn't do shit about it
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    • You’re telling me this shark is older than my star-spangled country? That’s heresy in my eyes... burn it
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    • This shark has eaten pirates
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    • So the scientists determined a range on this sharks age, they determined it to be at least 272 years old and potentially 512 years old. But the median of that range was 392, so that’s what they went with. So it could be multiple decades in age in either direction
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    • when its groans are translated, one car hear the shark mumble, "I need about tree fiddy."
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    • I read the article when it came out. The shark was bycatch that couldn't be saved, and the scientist dated it based on its retina.
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    • A shark older than the U.S. that’s weird to think about
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    • Wehim 27 jul
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    • Greenland sharks have the longest known lifespan of all vertebrate species (estimated to be between 300–500 years), and the species is among the largest extant species of shark. As an adaptation to living at depth,[3] it has a high concentration of trimethylamine N-oxide in its tissues, which causes
      Summerset 27 jul
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    • He’s older than america
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    • Wasnt that shark found dead though? And it hadnt been dead for like 2 centuries?
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    • Grandpa shark do do dooodo
      koky13 27 jul
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    • Ya know what I find weird? The fact the organization like PETA have NEVER advocated for sharks or the huge shark-finning business is Asia. They’ve never done anything for sharks but they’re one of the animals that are suffering the most! Just a thought.
      megasad 27 jul
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    • Deadass older than the USA
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    • “And were gonna make a shitty soup out of your fins and make people pay $600 for it”
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    • Fun fact: they have a parasite on their eye they keep their whole life so they have to navigate artic waters with the other senses.
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    • How do they know the sharks age, did they ask him when his b-day was?
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    • This noon seen like four 9/11 attacks
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    • That shark is older than America
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    • Bruh they got that noons birth certificate?
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    • Greenland Sharks in general can live 300-500 years
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    • I wonder how they know it's age that exactly. Did they ask it?
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    • i bet aliens are at the bottom of the ocean in a top secret lab and not in area 51
      kysrn 29 jul
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    • Wonder what he was doing on 9/11
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