• women in a new house: OMG so excited to
start this chapter in my life
men in a new house:
This will be the first shit I take in my new house
    • EmailPinterestRedditTumblr Report
    • Copy link
    • Pinterest
  • 423 comments

    • Then there’s the last shit you take in that house :’(
      1.2K Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • The first shit I took in my house was into a bucket. I was working on the plumbing when my stomach told me I was going to shit in 30 seconds whether I was ready or not.
      1h8Uall 27 jun
      772 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Historic moment - first jack off sesh in the new house
      dvdscf 27 jun
      590 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • If you dont absolutely destroy the toilet the first time you use it you have to throw the whole house away and buy a new one
      559 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Why is it off-center?
      SpaceCase 24 jun
      435 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Why is there a pic of a toilet? I always take my first one in the front yard so I can introduce myself to the neighbors.
      324 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I remember my freshmen year in highschool after my family moved, the first shit I took clogged up the toilet.
      209 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • kanep0e 27 jun
      19 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • We should really normalize bidets in America. A lot of y’all don’t wipe properly
      missyy 27 jun
      15 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I still remember the first bath i took in my current house after having lived in a camping trailer for a year because my previous house had burned down(robbery an arson).
      12 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Whenever we would take a vacation at a beach house or a rental property of some sort as a kid, it was always a race to see who the first person who could muster a good shit and "Christen" the toilet would be. Mom never played buy my dad and my two brothers were very into it.
      10 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Guys im building my own house wohoo
      Marwxn 27 jun
      10 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Don't buy the house until you test the plumbing
      Curvz 27 jun
      12 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I was walking minding my business and suddenly I slipped and slapped my head on the gravel below me. Somebody had taken one massive human shit in the middle of the path with no regard for his fellow man. Next time find a tree.
      Bogus 27 jun
      7 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Imagine being able to afford a house.
      5 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Bruh I have gastritis as a Mexican you know how BS that is...all of our food involves some form of spice...my bitch ass stomach can barely take a regular habanero. But making unos chiles rellenos from habanero and then adding some some home made salsa from the small little red chiles
      4 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I was the first to shit in my uncles giant lake house
      4 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Toilet lost the game
      4 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Taking the first shit in my new house now
      3 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Gotta mark your territory
      hollow47 28 jun
      3 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Can confirm
      epic_wind 27 jun
      3 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • But where’s the toilet paper
      3 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • My brother in law pooped in their main floor bathroom at the open house to mark his territory
      2 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • These “women vs men” features are just r/notlikeothergirls. Cause if a girl did the same thing youd fuckin hate it
      3 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Then you have to get used to whether or not the toilet is powerful
      2 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • 2 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Not going to be the first one, remember the people who install the aplliances, the realtor, construction workers, etc.
      Voyance 28 jun
      1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • gotta get use to it quicc
      1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • These meme formats are literally the least funny thing on Earth
      BooNerds 27 jun
      1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • For me it's always the first nap I take In a new house
      YaBoi_JD 27 jun
      1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • We got out bathroom redone after 3 years of it being out of service. A literal birthday present from my wife was for me to be the first to use the toilet. I was honored... that is till our 3 year old ran in there because he had to pee xD
      weazel314 27 jun
      1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Phexal 27 jun
      1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • CoffeeCultist this is gonna be you
      1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I love all my friends are signing these contract saying that are becoming homeowners. Like LOL no the bank owns a house and you get to keep your stuff there while you pay them an exorbitant amount of money monthly and if you miss a payment they can kick you out.
      Akchually 27 jun
      1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • A few years ago I moved to the house right next to my grandma's. We all went to see the house we were there for an hour and I had to shit. I went to go to the bathroom but the water in the house was turned off. Ny parents wouldn't drive me back next door so I had to dig a hole in our backyard
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • It’s sets a important precedent for the future
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Actually I always thought of the guy one more 🤯
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I am both these people
      LindaWade 30 jun
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Literally just did this yesterday. Clogged it up. It was epic
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • The second line was unnecessary. We all knew what the historic moment was
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • To the first of many 🍻
      Dvonders 30 jun
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Am I the only one concerned that there is no Toilet paper seen?
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Ahhh, i remember my first shit in my moms housd
      Jer_bear1 30 jun
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • It's not a home until you have taken a shit and either fucked or jacked off in it, then it becomes a home
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Christening
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Hahaha yeah, I actually raced a housemate to get right to first shit, I established dominance that day
      Juggsy 30 jun
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • When i got my house i made sure i shit in all the bathrooms to establish dominance
      Saeton 30 jun
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I remember when I moved to my new house, we had domino’s and I had a canker sore on my tongue
      _MrFrog_ 30 jun
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • The first shit I took in my house let everyone know that was my bathroom.
      jplamont 30 jun
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I got lucky the day I moved into my new place the toilet wouldn't work so my landlord had to replace it. muhahahahah my new toilet.
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I went to cedar point and didn’t want to clog the toilet so I held it in then the first ride I rode was the millennium force... I regretted that moment so much
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Pog
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • European toilet!!!!!!
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • My friend bought a house and it came equipped with the butt sprayers and so we opened the lid and hit the lever and it sprayed the opposite wall
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • an*
      ZeeJayDee 30 jun
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Yo i was working with my dad at the moving company he works at one summer and we moved this retired couple into a new house and I was the first person to poop in the toilet or atleast is what the owner said😅
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Cant relate to first shit in a house since I was a baby. However first shit in high school was scary cuz it was in the locker room and i was sweating
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • We gotta make a good first impression
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Every time I move into a new apartment I buy a brand new toilet seat never been used and before using it everyone in the house has to lick it 😂
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I wanted to do this bc I just moved in but I had diarrhea and was preoccupied so I forgot
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • That was me. I was 7-8 i was hyped about my first poop in our new house
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Also the first to rub one out
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I have food poisoning on a road trip with no extra clothes (it's my last day) and 6 hours left to go. God help me
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I remember my first shit
      _semen 29 jun
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Wife and I just bought some property to start building. We’re super excited about it!
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • The first time I stayed at my girlfriends house and shit in her bathroom, I told her to write it down, as I had now shit in her bathroom for the first time. Yall act like only guys are fucking weird
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Is something wrong with me? Because I'm just thinking of wether or not the toilet flushes and the lights work.
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • During my pregnancy, I stole that pivotal moment from my husband. He has yet to let me live it down. I hope our child’s first word is “dada” to make up for it.
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Facts
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I helped my best friend move last week and I took the first shit of the house and she was so mad at me
      tootus 29 jun
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I was the first person to piss in my house
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Lol i have a snap saved from a year and a half ago when i moved into my apartment and took the first shit. It was the first not only in the apartment, but also that toilet.
      ginnger 29 jun
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • This is true
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I was the first to Nut in my house UwU
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • My dad took the first shit in my fiance and I’s house
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • But why is the man thing me like I get so excited to use the bathroom in my new house when I move every like 2 years
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Bruh I moved in to my new place and bought a new couch. My friend helped me move it in. And right when it was set up he sat down in it and farted. Like bruh I wanted too be the first one. Like it's not even really mine now.....
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Hells yeah
      Legobro 28 jun
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Anyone else constantly live in fear clogging any toilet since you take such huge ass shits
      PizzaRat 28 jun
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Second house me and my family moved into, it was a maruchan fueled dump
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • this is the first nut i bust with brand new sheets
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Me and my husband moved into a 2 bathroom apartment for the first time and both got really excited the first time we both peed at the same time 😂
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Haven’t jacked it in two days wooooo
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I was the first person I poop in my entire neighbor hood. It’s a new development and we moved into our house first so in a .5 mile radius of my house I was the first to shit meaning I hold dominance
      gatormaid 28 jun
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • :0
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Every time I moved into a new place with my mom (which was only a few times) I’d use the toilet first and clog it every time. I plan on continuing the tradition when I move into a new place
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • When I went to college, I really didn't process it till I took a shit. I was like "Oh, this'll be my normal thing from now on"
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I took the first shit in my brother's apartment, its been nearly 4 years and he's still a tad salty
      Britt 28 jun
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I still remember my first shit in my new home
      bartra 28 jun
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • while he was typing this he was already shitting
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I work construction fixing the little dents a and bad texture on new homes before homebuyers move in and I always shit in the new toilets hahahahahaha
      KavanLamb 28 jun
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • The Taco Bell shit is commencing
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I think I’ve shit in every location I’ve ever been to that had a toilet, but there’s no throne like home.
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • So relatable
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I move into my new house on the 10th. My roommates and I have already planned a Mexican dinner just so we can have a good shit in the fresh bathroom
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Took that snap 3 months ago
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I just bought a new house, there's a window next to my toilet. There is nothing better that a cool breeze and hearing nature while blowing your colon into the thunder mug
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Nah nah a historic moment is when you spark that first blunt in your new house
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show

iFunny plug-in will teach your phone to smile

get on the iFunny app to roast them

All content related issues will be solved right here.
After all necessary information is provided, of course:

Complete the form below to notify iFunny of a claim relating to your intellectual property rights and content or some technical inconvenience with the service.
(Positive and productive feedback is appreciated as well).

Your details

Your relationships to the rights holder

Type of claim

Select
Copyright Trademark Nazi-related Offensive Technical difficulties Other
Describe the issue in detail. Please be specific.
Feeling poetic today? Feel free to provide more information
By clicking on "Submit" below, you are certifying the following statements:
  • I state that I have a good faith belief that use of the work(s) in the manner complained of is not authorized by the copyright owner, its agent, or the law.
  • I state that the information in this notification is accurate and, under penalty of perjury, that I am the owner of the exclusive right that is allegedly infringed, or an authorized agent for the owner.
  • I give my permission to pass my contact information to the alleged infringing party.

Privacy notice

For a list of the categories of personal information that we collect from you and how we use that information, please review iFunny’s privacy policy