hen you ask whos a good girl but she just keeps
choking on ur dick
All right, then. Keepfyour secrets.
hen you ask whos a good girl but she just keeps choking on ur dick All right, then. Keepfyour secrets.
Me: Why aren't you ready for bed? I told you to get ready for bed 10 minutes ago.
My kid:
I was gonna listen to that, but then just carried on living my life
TiaCalenture TiaCalenture
27 oct 2020
Me: Why aren't you ready for bed? I told you to get ready for bed 10 minutes ago. My kid: I was gonna listen to that, but then just carried on living my life
Barber: What kinda cut you want?
Guy: Ever seen a ballsack in a snow storm?
Barber: Say no more fam
Barber: What kinda cut you want? Guy: Ever seen a ballsack in a snow storm? Barber: Say no more fam
ASI LAY ME DOWN TO SLEEP.
ANY MINUTE [LL FALL DEEP
MY HUMAN WENT TO TAKES PEE,
NOW THE BED BELONGS TO ME.
AMEN.
Unown_TG Unown_TG
22 sep 2020
ASI LAY ME DOWN TO SLEEP. ANY MINUTE [LL FALL DEEP MY HUMAN WENT TO TAKES PEE, NOW THE BED BELONGS TO ME. AMEN.
When you hurt yourself and
someone tells you it didn't hurt that much
YOU Underestimate my ow
_Galaxy _Galaxy
28 sep 2020
When you hurt yourself and someone tells you it didn't hurt that much YOU Underestimate my ow
When you pull your dick out of a
Japanese girl and it's pixelated -
iron_dong iron_dong
26 oct 2020
When you pull your dick out of a Japanese girl and it's pixelated -
Tweet
Buck
@a_nogr
Olive Garden gave me a spoon for
my spaghetti
PM - 26 Sep 20 Twitter for Android
KentuckyFriedColonel KentuckyFriedColonel
26 sep 2020
Tweet Buck @a_nogr Olive Garden gave me a spoon for my spaghetti PM - 26 Sep 20 Twitter for Android
When someone insults you and it's actually a good one you haven't heard before
jamespay
8 dec 2020
When someone insults you and it's actually a good one you haven't heard before
ATF: That's strange, all your neighbors said the lake ate
their guns too...
ME: Well, ain't this place a
geographical oddity!...
DickHoits DickHoits
18 mar
ATF: That's strange, all your neighbors said the lake ate their guns too... ME: Well, ain't this place a geographical oddity!...
SantaCruz SantaCruz
25 sep 2020
girls been giving me shit for buying a 30 year old nissan
Cyberpunk Mark Zuckerberg looks more human than the actual Mark Zuckerberg
JARJARBEANS JARJARBEANS
18 dec 2020
Cyberpunk Mark Zuckerberg looks more human than the actual Mark Zuckerberg
There are people who fish...
And then there are people who make fishing their life!!!
escapethedaylight escapethedaylight
24 sep 2020
There are people who fish... And then there are people who make fishing their life!!!
It still blows my mind that Steve Buscemi
delivered the line, "Do you think God stays in heaven because he too, lives in fear of
what he's created?" in a kid's movie.
AxlDavis2012
9 oct 2020
It still blows my mind that Steve Buscemi delivered the line, "Do you think God stays in heaven because he too, lives in fear of what he's created?" in a kid's movie.
When your job is to drop pin on
Google Maps
When your job is to drop pin on Google Maps
Me watching fireworks even though never left
my house, popcorn just have and LSD
popcorn ceilings and LSD
Me watching fireworks even though never left my house, popcorn just have and LSD popcorn ceilings and LSD
Imagine just driving around and a big ass robot jumps out of nowhere and tells your car to square up and your car says "aight bet"
SargentSavage SargentSavage
5 nov 2020
Imagine just driving around and a big ass robot jumps out of nowhere and tells your car to square up and your car says "aight bet"
I just want someone to love me as much as this dog loves his brick.
SpareParts SpareParts
25 sep 2020
I just want someone to love me as much as this dog loves his brick.