• jake
At my funeral I won't need
a coffin. I will
be cremated from the neck down and
my head will be on
a
stick. If you want to
say anything about me you have to hold
my head stick
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  • 367 comments

    • I want something similar except I want my head passes around like a beach ball. If they can't make at least 5 successful bounces they have to start over. For my will everyone gets a tazer even the kids and last one standing gets all my shit.
      sludgey 11 jul
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    • So just head?
      blue_too 12 jul
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    • Like in Lord of The Flies, go mad when speaking to the head stick
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    • I just want a Viking funeral, burning ship and a week-long drinking binge for everyone who knew me
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    • the cremator: so no head?
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    • I told my friend to stand outside my funeral in a grim reaper costume and say nothing to nobody
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    • I want my body to be crafted in a way were a ventriloquist can stick his hand through my back a can make my jaw move as if i was talking
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    • IamStig61 13 jul
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    • At least credit Daniel Tosh, dont be an Amy
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    • I want my skull professionally cleaned and I want a large portion of my wealth to go towards fitting gems to my eye sockets
      leeches 12 jul
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    • ay yo pass the mf head stick
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    • Jose jalapeno on a stick
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    • Mom said it’s my turn with the head stick
      Noon_Head 12 jul
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    • I want to be cremated and put in party poppers than they will pop at my funeral and everyone will be like ohh he wanted to go out in a silly way haha and then they will realize it was my ahses and get all upset shit would be funny as fuck
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    • Honestly kinda wanna be impaled too
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    • I want that thing where my body is turned into gems, but not my skull. I want my skull cleaned, and the 2 gems put in the eye sockets, like that one dude came up with
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    • Mom said it’s my turn to use the head stick.
      b0z0nk 12 jul
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    • Condoggs 12 jul
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    • Dig a hole. Drop me in it. Walk away. Don't mourn. We all die. We don't go anywhere afterwards. The end.
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    • So lord of the flies hasn’t taught you anything?
      chopstew 12 jul
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    • Can you curl a 15 pound barbell? If not, you can't lift a human head with 1 hand.
      Mizar 12 jul
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    • Going to give one of my friends my right hand in the will, under the conditions that they will sneak into where I’m buried, and put the hand above the dirt in a zombified state.
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    • I want my head on a spike
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    • Last time I asked someone to hold my head stick I got booked
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    • No coffin for me either. I'm going to a Body Farm for forensic studies. 😁💞
      missnay 12 jul
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    • I want my body tied to a ton of fireworks or something and just blown apart or ruined in a funny way
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    • When I pass I'm having both my calf muscles removed to be sent to my friends Levi and Nate to cook and eat, after that I'm having my body taxidermied like a rearing bear and my missing legs replaced with those of a bears
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    • Zental 12 jul
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    • I want a feast before my funeral. After everyone eats, the can open the empty casket. "About that barbecue..."
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    • Viking and Egyptians knew how to go. Every other way is just boring and lame.
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    • I believe in some Polynesian islands that’s how they have to pass down history. The culture is to have the skull of everyone involved so the spirits would get mad if whoever was passing down history was lying
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    • Pop that headless girl mouth in my shlong, damn I got hella game.
      noon8 12 jul
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    • Get this Lord of the Flies bs outta here
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    • That's an interesting combination of different scenes from king of the flies
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    • anyone else have the same feature back to back? (kinda pog)
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    • Si
      DaceGamer 12 jul
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    • Mourning wood
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    • I’ll just make a smore
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    • Jose the jalapeno
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    • Good thing is that you will be dead and your family wont have to listen to such a edgy request
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    • "In order to say anything, you must hold me, John Romero"
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    • That's rad
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    • PorkSword 12 jul
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    • I use to remember him because of his body it was built like a stick
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    • Call me beezebub because I am going to ki|| a bunch of young boys for the event
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    • Weirdo
      yosuhhhh 15 jul
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    • I don't want to be embalmed. I want to be buried 8 ft deep and feed new life when I'm gone. I sure's shit ain't gonna need my body where I'm going.
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    • I wanna get cremated but what if your soul gets burned does Thames your chance?
      realcrow 15 jul
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    • In akame ga kil, the character Chelsea liked lollipops so much, that they turned her into one
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    • Stolen joke on some other meme... This was already featured
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    • that’s some lord of the flies shit
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    • Just hire Jeff Dunham
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    • Lololo l ol
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    • I want my eldest child to hand out my teeth as party favors. It holds no meaning, it’s not part of my dying wish to continue to explore the world after death, I just want to see who has the balls to throw grandpas gnarly old teeth away, or what kind of creative uses they’ll come up with.
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    • Its what he eould of wanted
      Dipasss 14 jul
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    • Sounds like you want to be burned as a witch on low heat.
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    • Jake....on a stick
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    • Jokes on you I do the cremations and you always get creampied first 😉
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    • Hehehehe, ohhh jake
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    • I want my dick put on a stick. The women will be moaning and groaning at my wake.
      banjo1926 14 jul
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    • Lord of the flies lookin ass
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    • The guy at the crematorium, “so, no head?”
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    • "head stick" love that
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    • I want my body cremated and put in pouches for all my friends and family to be used as pocket sand. So even in death, I'm still saving their dumb asses
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    • ok i just got this feature literally the post before this with that stupid ass reaction image under it.
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    • Can we ride you around like a stick horse?
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    • Jeff Dunham head ass
      truebaka 14 jul
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    • I want to be cremated
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    • Jalepeno on a stick
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    • Is that some sort of weird sex toy?
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    • I want to be cremated, have my skull made into an urn to hold my ashes, and have my birth stone be made into eyes for my skull
      CJP77 14 jul
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    • I want to be turned into a bucket of chum
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    • Wasn't that a Daniel Tosh bit?
      sir94 14 jul
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    • I wanna be cremated and my ashes turned to glass eyes to put in my skull
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    • That’s stupid
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    • Ekkone 14 jul
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    • I wanna be stuffed
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    • I want to forge a sword with an empty socket on the pommel before I die. When I die I can be cremated, compressed into a diamond, and fitted to my sword. Cuz why not?
      PBC_Jimbo 14 jul
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    • No joke, I wanna have a viking-like funeral, light a boat on fire with my body in it and watch it float out to sea
      Dovahnime 14 jul
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    • When I die, I want to be mummified like what the ancient Egyptians did.
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    • Ok Nick Swardson.
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    • I will fuck it’s mouth after
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    • Is this actually legal to do? Like, if I say this is what I want in my will, what is the process (if any) of carrying it out?
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    • I'm down
      kuener 13 jul
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    • They gotta kick my head into the crowd, and if they dont keep me up for at least 3 hits they start the whole procession over again.
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    • become a kindergarten teacher so then ur students can use your head stick as a talking stick
      Soyzal 13 jul
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    • I want people to keurig my ashes and the person who drinks the most gets all of my shit.
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    • I ,to, now want this to be done with me.
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    • Just like Daniel tosh said in his stand up right? Lol stealing people material 🤣
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    • Stole that from Daniel Tosh
      __Monika 13 jul
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    • Put it in a jar like in futurama
      supercuss 13 jul
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    • I’m going to do this at my funeral thankyouverymuch
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    • Whoever dies first out of the freind group one of the others has to walk up to the casket in a reaper costume and wave their hand over the body and then turn around nod and leave
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    • So, no head?
      Mad_Laden 13 jul
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    • Jose Jalepeno...
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    • Instead of a long line of funeral cars how about a 4 mile long downhill slip’n’slide that you send the coffin down
      Redmin 13 jul
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