Interviewer: sell me this pen
Her:
Gezfunez_X Gezfunez_X
10 nov 2020
Interviewer: sell me this pen Her:
hen you ask whos a good girl but she just keeps
choking on ur dick
All right, then. Keepfyour secrets.
hen you ask whos a good girl but she just keeps choking on ur dick All right, then. Keepfyour secrets.
Every guys first crush
smithkailey smithkailey
19 dec 2020
Every guys first crush
Cashier at taco shop: "I hope all this food isnt just for you."
Me: It's for my family.
@SanDiegoHurcr
Cashier at taco shop: "I hope all this food isnt just for you." Me: It's for my family. @SanDiegoHurcr
How I sleep knowing my world views offend people
@lordpetty.
BoyGenius BoyGenius
1 dec 2020
How I sleep knowing my world views offend people @lordpetty.
Her dad: "What can you offer my daughter?"
Me: "Whatever she wishes"
ElMundo ElMundo
24 sep 2020
Her dad: "What can you offer my daughter?" Me: "Whatever she wishes"
I need to speak to the bananager.
ChangeMyMind1 ChangeMyMind1
22 jan 2021
I need to speak to the bananager.
When someone insults you and it's actually a good one you haven't heard before
jamespay
8 dec 2020
When someone insults you and it's actually a good one you haven't heard before
Pink haired anime girls are the gift from God
best_weebshitjpg best_weebshitjpg
24 sep 2020
Pink haired anime girls are the gift from God
When you're out for your birthday meal and you suddenly spot a cake coming round the corner and everyone starts singing
Please don't do this
cheryDragon cheryDragon
24 oct 2020
When you're out for your birthday meal and you suddenly spot a cake coming round the corner and everyone starts singing Please don't do this
When your grandpa throws his nokia at you and breaks your bone but then you
throw a samsung at him and it fucking explodes
The future is now, old man
MishkaMushkaMickeyMouse MishkaMushkaMickeyMouse
27 oct 2020
When your grandpa throws his nokia at you and breaks your bone but then you throw a samsung at him and it fucking explodes The future is now, old man
YOU BEST START BELIEVING IN CYBERPURK DYSTOPIAS
YOU'RE IN ONE
YOU BEST START BELIEVING IN CYBERPURK DYSTOPIAS YOU'RE IN ONE
My big toe after putting on a ripped sock:
TrenDerX472 TrenDerX472
13 mar
My big toe after putting on a ripped sock:
girls: guys always miss the clit!
also girls:
ShitPostGod ShitPostGod
11 may
girls: guys always miss the clit! also girls:
As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
She removes all her clothes and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
Quicher Quicher
20 nov 2020
As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothes and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
Me: "Hi mom! How was your d-"
Mom: "Your school called today."
torn torn
25 sep 2020
Me: "Hi mom! How was your d-" Mom: "Your school called today."
cthetexasking cthetexasking
26 sep 2020
Our dog's "outside" button
Adam
@adamthealright
Is this too much to ask for?
Adam @adamthealright Is this too much to ask for?
Me sliding the straw out of a McDonalds cup
- @Luckless Outfitters
Me sliding the straw out of a McDonalds cup - @Luckless Outfitters
his is how I see yellow lights when I'm
debating if I should stop or gas it
oN
AmmonWall
1 may
his is how I see yellow lights when I'm debating if I should stop or gas it oN