• If your sexual performance was reviewable on Tripadvisor, what would the ratings and reviews say?
    smile 56K
  • 502 comments

    • Dank_Shaggy_Rogers
      Fun for all ages.
      smile 2.4K reply 66
    • Youkilledkenny
      Kid friendly
      smile 2K reply 65
    • Fullonpessimist
      It ain’t much, but it’s honest work.
      smile 305 reply 1
    • SlayMee
      SlayMee 23d
      smile 15 reply 1
    • smalldong
      smalldong a month
      smile 15
    • OIiver
      All the activities felt forced
      OIiver a month
      smile 12
    • Bannanna
      Rated E for everyone
      Bannanna a month
      smile 11
    • FatMac
      Terribly disappointing but at least it was cheap
      FatMac a month
      smile 9
    • edgelordlmao
      Pet friendly
      edgelordlmao a month
      smile 9
    • Hokisgurl
      Five stars I’d cum here again
      Hokisgurl a month
      smile 9 reply 1
    • theghostofskippy
      I've never been there but people tell me it's nice
      smile 9
    • xX_BILLY
      Terrible service, but glad how fast it was.
      xX_BILLY a month
      smile 8
    • mangogreen
      1 star- nothing was clean and the carpet did not match the drapes. And they made me leave without the promised contential breakfast. Would not go again.
      mangogreen a month
      smile 7
    • wootwoothappynoise
      "Very accommodating, atmosphere was fun and inviting, tries very hard to make your satisfaction a priority, no risk of unwanted babies coming in. 9/10 (tits could be nicer)"
      smile 7 reply 2
    • Vice_Principal_Crubbs
      "Wait times vary dramatically"
      smile 7
    • iUsedToBeHappy
      "1/10, he begged me to call him 'Mr. Avocado Man' and wouldn't take off his Sketchers"
      smile 7
    • Thirdriechthesaurus
      A rarely used classic! Clean but accommodating to most requests.
      smile 6
    • iamprobablygoingtohell
      My whole family loved it!
      smile 6
    • Rance_sama
      Rance_sama a month
      smile 6
    • hellpopulationyou
      Poor start, middle got better with the last day of the trip being far better than expected
      smile 6
    • EcchiBot
      “Well, The Dinner was a nice gesture.”
      EcchiBot a month
      smile 6
    • LordOfImanity
      Family friendly
      LordOfImanity a month
      smile 6
    • NunchuckMasterDaddy
      Not as big as I thought but good for the price.
      smile 6
    • killerkaiden
      Pet friendly
      killerkaiden a month
      smile 6 reply 1
    • Stinkypete94
      “If you like seafood, you’re in for a treat.. this man has a shrimp dick”
      Stinkypete94 a month
      smile 5
    • zomboi_cannibal
      Puts the sensual in nonconsensual
      smile 5
    • RedDadRedemption
      It was ok but not as good or expensive as other places.
      smile 5
    • VaultyBoi
      Pets accepted
      VaultyBoi a month
      smile 5 reply 1
    • aaronflyboy
      Bring your family
      aaronflyboy a month
      smile 5
    • HollyJolly_Hoe
      Falsely advised
      smile 5
    • Balthazar
      “Dinner was superb! 10/10 will be dining here again” 😏
      Balthazar a month
      smile 5
    • Patchworth_Plus
      Few customers but many repeat visitors.
      smile 5
    • AdoreToNowhere
      Kid friendly? How about pet friendly?
      smile 5
    • thisOneOtherGuy
      Inactive since 2016
      smile 5
    • _Pasta
      _Pasta a month
      smile 5
    • XtremeAces
      "A great family experience"
      XtremeAces a month
      smile 5
    • SuperWheat
      Doing so much more with less
      SuperWheat a month
      smile 5
    • Lennie
      ⭐️⭐️⭐️ Was shaking the whole time and wouldn’t cum. Dick was big though
      Lennie a month
      smile 4 reply 1
    • madcat2017
      Doesn't look like much but makes up for it in enthusiasm. Plus great head!
      madcat2017 a month
      smile 5 reply 5
    • SarcasticJoke
      Child tested, Mother approved
      SarcasticJoke a month
      smile 4
    • TheYeeter
      Maximum penetration
      TheYeeter a month
      smile 4
    • jDawg108
      Family friendly.
      jDawg108 a month
      smile 4
    • wreklss1
      Able to get in and out in no time
      wreklss1 a month
      smile 4
    • provacative_avocado
      Smells weird and gave me an itch. But the coffee wasn't bad. 2 stars
      smile 4
    • HybridD
      HybridD a month
      smile 4 reply 1
    • NitroTheWolf
      Pet friendly jk jk
      NitroTheWolf a month
      smile 4 reply 2
    • Nopfps
      Bro I was with this dude who was into suffocating himself and he’d just fucking stick his face in my chest until he passed out
      Nopfps a month
      smile 5 reply 1
    • Mazaraz
      It's on the tip of my tongue...
      Mazaraz a month
      smile 4
    • lucky777dice
      Do not resuscitate
      lucky777dice a month
      smile 4
    • JaimeGarcia
      7/10. Not my first choice
      JaimeGarcia a month
      smile 4
    • Theoldestaccount
      I had a dream where I guy was texting angry vehement insults at my friend and when he ran out of insults he started texting pictures of dirty dishes
      smile 4
    • Newt_
      Kid tested. Parent approved.
      Newt_ a month
      smile 4
    • asymetric
      Fun for the whole family
      asymetric a month
      smile 4
    • Heavy_R
      Dogs are allowed
      Heavy_R a month
      smile 5 reply 2
    • A_Bad_Police_Dog
      Pet friendly
      smile 4
    • JaBaii
      Smaller than expected, but very durable.
      JaBaii 25d
      smile 3
    • Gen1ForLife
      Came for a good time. Left disappointed with a free creampie.
      Gen1ForLife a month
      smile 3
    • jjhairyfish24
      About as fun as a stale ham sandwich
      jjhairyfish24 a month
      smile 3
    • Parkerinclass
      Be the first to submit a friendly review
      Parkerinclass a month
      smile 3
    • Nuclear__Pizza
      May cause toe curling and temporary paralysis. Will generally leave your previously clean accommodations a sticky mess.
      smile 3 reply 3
    • THERUPUBMAN
      Rated E for everyone
      THERUPUBMAN a month
      smile 3
    • ImNotAGamer
      A bunch of 1 star reviews from one of my crazy exes under like 50 different fake accounts, then a bunch of 5 star reviews from my current girlfriend under different accounts to outweigh the bad reviews. Maybe a couple of other miscellaneous reviews further back.
      ImNotAGamer a month
      smile 3 reply 2
    • _The_MadHatter_
      “Not bad if you can overlook weird kinks”
      smile 3
    • ragerooster
      5 star service, but I think the mattress broke my spine.
      ragerooster a month
      smile 3
    • ImCanada
      2 star, He sounds like Bo Burnham
      ImCanada a month
      smile 3
    • Idobatman
      1 star, couldn't find the penis
      Idobatman a month
      smile 3
    • Krusty_Kunts
      Very good quality but didnt last as long as Id hoped
      Krusty_Kunts a month
      smile 3
    • Snorg
      Waste of money
      Snorg a month
      smile 4
    • NamesUpForGrabs
      He tried to eat my ass while eating me out... 10/10
      smile 3 reply 1
    • samt5299
      1/10 “not very good. Won’t use again. At least he can cook hence the 1. Poor guy”
      samt5299 a month
      smile 3
    • hawl
      Takes pleasure in giving more than receiving. A happy ending(several) for all involved.
      hawl a month
      smile 3
    • jennifera5320
      0 reviews because 0 people have had me.
      jennifera5320 a month
      smile 4
    • laschai
      “Wants sex constantly but is too lazy to give blowjobs most of the time”
      laschai a month
      smile 3 reply 2
    • WackKracka
      NC-17 No one 17 or under is permitted.
      WackKracka a month
      smile 3
    • Andy215
      5/10 “It was great up until he dressed up as a minion and said, ‘Linda een mi anus daddy Gru.’ I immediately did a somersault out the window.”
      Andy215 a month
      smile 4
    • wccmaddog
      5/10 "started great good meal, after dinner show had much to be improved couldn't finish the required task before leaving after a 2 minute performance and the 30 minutes of crying afterwords also felt uncomfortable would visit again as long as meal and dinner were included hence the 5"
      wccmaddog a month
      smile 3
    • RuggedButter
      The best 30 seconds of my life.
      RuggedButter a month
      smile 3
    • Desu
      Desu a month
      smile 3
    • Bantelope
      Pets allowed
      Bantelope a month
      smile 3
    • T0k3nDrunk
      Not worth the time
      T0k3nDrunk a month
      smile 3
    • mopar_or_no_car_GHIF
      Best 3 minutes you’ll ever spend
      smile 3
    • l_main_a_titan
      I went out to make a sandwich, and I noticed that it was snowing. I went to let my parents know, but holy fuck when I went closer to the door they were fuckin loud. I feel very uncomfortable
      smile 3
    • dmpsix
      Pets welcome
      dmpsix a month
      smile 3
    • Toshinori_Yagi
      Seems the joke went over everyone's head.
      smile 3 reply 2
    • msigler1990
      No one has reviewed this hotel in a very long time
      msigler1990 a month
      smile 3
    • joseinspace
      Great with pets!
      joseinspace a month
      smile 3
    • odinsfirstson
      Came for a quick visit ended up staying longer than intended
      odinsfirstson a month
      smile 3
    • Cockhouse
      “Elderly friendly.” “Cheap rates.” “Senior Discount” “Kids eat free.”
      Cockhouse a month
      smile 3
    • Sqorg
      Family friendly. Child friendly. Pet friendly
      Sqorg a month
      smile 3
    • alexamemes
      Parental advisory
      alexamemes a month
      smile 3
    • CrazyFuzzy
      Trip was a long and painful one, too many crying babies on board.
      CrazyFuzzy a month
      smile 3
    • heybenson
      "Affordable with an expensive feel"
      heybenson a month
      smile 3
    • DefCon2002
      DefCon2002 a month
      smile 5
    • dawfang
      Would it be too far to call him my hero?
      dawfang 24d
      smile 2
    • Nightfishy42
      5 stars so good I married her!
      smile 2
    • no_name_20
      Easy to install
      smile 2
    • OOBAMA
      Unknown
      OOBAMA a month
      smile 2
    • DickBFatt
      “Don’t like chloroform”
      DickBFatt a month
      smile 2
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