• If you can correctly pronounce
every word in this poem, you
will be speaking English better
than 90% of the native English
speakers in the world.
crimsun
Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
1 will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
'Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it's written.)
Now
I
surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe...
    • EmailPinterestRedditTumblr Report
    • Copy link
    • Pinterest
  • 2710 comments

    • Honestly if youre a native English speaker this really shouldn't be hard for you unless youve never heard one of the less common words, like Sward.
      2.3K Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Had to Google ague, not gonna lie never heard that word in my life
      2.2K Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I got everything but idk what sward and ague are
      1.8K Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Got it. Not hard to do.
      1.6K Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Britain 🤢🤮
      1K Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Equivalent to "If you get past the third level you're a genius" ads
      973 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • English is a hard language. It can be understood through tough thorough thought though.
      862 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I almost had it. The fuck is sward
      854 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • English is a difficult language. Unless you know how to speak it, in which case it's super fucking easy.
      755 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Did anyone else read it in a dramatic poem style
      ZoidG99 10 jul
      724 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Ague and sward?
      unaru 9 jul
      720 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Everything was easy except ague I haven't heard that word before. I'm about to Google it.
      695 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Easy peasy lemon squeezy
      516 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Sward and ague?
      490 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Ague and sward were the only two I didn't know
      sewd1289 10 jul
      483 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Google trends of ague since it got featured
      454 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • So the key to this is that you just have to have a parent that always corrects you, huh?
      366 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • sward and ague i didn't know, but it was pretty easy to figure out ague bc it had to rhyme
      335 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Sward and ague were the only ones I didn’t know
      tybreelo 10 jul
      329 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Got everything but ague and sward
      Noons64 10 jul
      317 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Ague - illness featuring fever and shivering . Pronounced like “ay-gyoo” You’re welcome .
      iceuhk 9 jul
      316 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • My mother is an English major, my sister is a grammar fanatic, and all my English teachers spent years trying to change how I talked. Also, this isn't hard as long as english is your first language.
      266 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I like this poem. Makes me feel like a witch from an 80s film
      BrookIyn 10 jul
      242 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Whats sward and ague. Are they pronounced as they are or different
      166 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Ima save this for my immigrant friends, make it a contest so they learn faster! Itll be fun
      129 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • That's only like the first half the rest is where it actually gets hard.
      66 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I teach 2nd grade. One of the things we talk about is how our language is so wacky
      22 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • The poem is "The Chaos" by Gerard Nolst Trenite. The full thing takes 12 minutes to read, and it only gets worse. 10/10
      21 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • If you were raised speaking english and you can’t pronounce all of these then you’re retarded.
      21 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • 14 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I’ll use this when I need 4 more words to meet the word count
      14 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • That was easy. Only thing I didn't know what ague. I assume it's pronounced a-goo
      14 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • You're mentally retarted if you can't say all of that properly.
      ECHO5ECHO 11 jul
      18 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Maximus_ 10 jul
      12 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Caramel eyes caramelize caramel lies
      11 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • This was easy wym?
      12 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Suzy got me actin strange
      11 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • How do you say ague
      SergeyT 10 jul
      10 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Oh damn, he gettin it on with lil Suzy 😳
      Linebat 10 jul
      10 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I’ve been working on a book about hell overfilling with souls and it spilling into the world. It’s going to be really creepy and people are going to have elemental powers, a lot like avatar the last air bender but there would be more elements such as nature, lighting, and dark matter. Sound cool????
      13 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • “Corpse, corps”.. what conceivable way is there to pronounce these differently? 🤔
      20 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I was doing so good stressing hard asf until i got to just compare & i said so compared
      _AD_ 10 jul
      9 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • What retard can’t do this?
      9 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Since everyone is fixated on just the pronunciation of sward and ague. Sward is an area of short grass and ague just means an illness involving a fever and shivering
      8 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • The Chaos by Gerard Nolst Trenite
      9 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • So there are people who cant read?
      AmDoge 10 jul
      8 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • The only word in that I didn’t recognize was sward. So I googled it and apparently it’s an expanse of short grass.
      8 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Most annoying thing about UK accent is pronouncing the a at the end as “er”. Ex. Amanda is pronounced Amander. It’s incorrect. While we are at it, spell “mom” with a fkn O pls...
      ikonk 9 jul
      10 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Damn shit got hard and competitive at the end
      8 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • So have a better vocabulary than a 3rd grader?
      8 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Hey , am o normal if English is my 3rd language and I kinda nail this poem
      fuckyard 10 jul
      8 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • What the fuck is suzy
      7 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Ague
      8 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Okay but can anyone tell me wtf an Ague is?
      7 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Not hard
      7 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Based on what?
      7 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • How do you pronounce sward
      overalls 10 jul
      6 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I did it and got them all but I am from the usa and also does that make me a nerd?
      6 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • If you graduated high school you should be able to correctly pronounce everything but sward and ague just from experience, and those last two are fairly easy to sound out. This is honestly more a test of attention and a tongue twister than a test of knowledge
      jibjab 10 jul
      6 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • EZPZ easy as balls
      5 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • That was really easy...
      5 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I got it all but I don't know suzy
      5 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Am I brewing a potion my nigga?
      6 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Show toe?
      5 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Easy
      tcliff 9 jul
      5 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • YESSIRRRRR
      5 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • brony 11 jul
      4 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I'm 17 and got it all right lol. I didn't know some of the words, but turns out I said it correctly haha
      7 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • The top 10% hold 100% of the correct pronunciations
      4 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Got everyone ;-; whatcha gonna do
      5 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • That was fun
      4 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I had a stroke reading this
      5 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I would read this but it has the word Britain in it
      5 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I doubt that highly
      AjaxSoap 10 jul
      3 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Damn I’m a fuckin scholar over heer! I’m walkin heer!!!
      3 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Who the fuck spells Susie Suzy
      5 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • wtf is ague and sward
      CamoOpps 10 jul
      3 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Not hard
      3 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I only got three wrong
      3 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • “90% of NON-native English speakers” there, I fixed it for you, this was easy, I’ve only had to slow down for ague and sward because I didn’t know what they meant and had to google them
      4 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • tf is ague everyone else is ez
      3 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Pronunciation has very little to do with English speaking abilities, considering that 3 different countries each speak different dialects of English with different pronunciations for most letter combinations
      4 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Not hard at all, had to google sward and auge tho
      2 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I does it!! English easily for me!!
      2 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Got it
      2 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Sorry... Cloven?
      2 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • People have different accents and pronounce words differently. There's no way to pronounce a word correctly. Is it pronounced either or either, data or data?
      dvdh3 9 jul
      3 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Every word babyyy
      3 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I fucked up at ague
      1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • fuck ague me and my homies hate ague
      1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • .
      zerosober 10 jul
      1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • So as a native English speaker easy, as a person who is working on language #3 a nightmare hate it
      Negamiii 10 jul
      2 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Sward got me
      Ponax18 9 jul
      1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • How the hell do you say ague
      Dredgen 9 jul
      1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I got a solid 87%
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I got it all, guess I'm just weird huh
      1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I've never heard anyone say Suzy. What is that?
      1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • What happens when you don't know if the pronunciation is correct tho 🤔
      dupeed 12 jul
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • DreamyMaze read this
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • 90% of native english speakers are fucking dumbasses then.
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show

iFunny plug-in will teach your phone to smile

get on the iFunny app to roast them

All content related issues will be solved right here.
After all necessary information is provided, of course:

Complete the form below to notify iFunny of a claim relating to your intellectual property rights and content or some technical inconvenience with the service.
(Positive and productive feedback is appreciated as well).

Your details

Your relationships to the rights holder

Type of claim

Select
Copyright Trademark Nazi-related Offensive Technical difficulties Other
Describe the issue in detail. Please be specific.
Feeling poetic today? Feel free to provide more information
By clicking on "Submit" below, you are certifying the following statements:
  • I state that I have a good faith belief that use of the work(s) in the manner complained of is not authorized by the copyright owner, its agent, or the law.
  • I state that the information in this notification is accurate and, under penalty of perjury, that I am the owner of the exclusive right that is allegedly infringed, or an authorized agent for the owner.
  • I give my permission to pass my contact information to the alleged infringing party.

Privacy notice

For a list of the categories of personal information that we collect from you and how we use that information, please review iFunny’s privacy policy