• EmailPinterestRedditTumblr Report
    • Copy link
    • Pinterest
  • 2713 comments

    • I would buy a college textbook, leaving me with just enough money to buy a burger or something.
      willgnyc 17 sep
      1.6K Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Open a lemonade stand,suspiciously make 750k in sales the first week then close your doors forever
      milkme 17 sep
      1.2K Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • i seen no country for old men. i’m not picking that shit up
      Cowboyo 16 sep
      1.1K Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Buy drugs , groceries and gas with it for the rest of my life
      tmann615 17 sep
      942 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Walk up to a bank and make a deposit of 750,000 dollars, IRS is a bunch of fucking dweebs, I’ll beat the shit out of them if they knock on my door
      925 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Buy a car wash. Start a go fund me for my “cancer”. Sell meth. Become the number one drug dealer in New Mexico. It’s that simple bro
      852 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Wdym. Just put little bits of it at a time into your bank while also spending it. It's cash. Don't be stupid with it. Use common sense.
      784 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Honestly I think you could legally claim it
      dbel 16 sep
      748 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • i'd just keep it in cash under me bed in a fire safe and use it to buy groceries so i can use ALL of my current checking account on bills and whatnot
      smallnig 17 sep
      730 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • You can put 9999 in your bank account without them contacting the irs.
      697 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Honestly just use it for food and Walmart purchases, periodically
      kermyboi 17 sep
      621 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I'd spend the first $700k on pokemon cards. The rest would go to less important stuff, like college loans
      596 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Have it stored away somewhere like a safe. Continue on with my job and school but just pay off classes as if I saved up money. Then when I can land a secure high paying job that’s when I start integrating that money more and more
      _Sumia_ 17 sep
      552 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Just use it to buy things with cash from time to time like a haircut or a fuckload of cocaine
      474 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I would add about 1000 to my bank account each month, and put away around 500 in a Roth IRA every month as well. I would put a down payment on a 10 year payment plan on a house that I always wanted, and would continue to work as normal, while also finally going to college to get a degree in (1/2)
      477 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • This is gunna get featured cuz this dude is just getting handed features left and right
      guards 16 sep
      431 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Cash it in for poker chips and cash out later in the night
      394 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Call Saul
      317 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Hire hit men to really clean out the swamp
      276 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Um be a politician? No one cares where their money comes from lmao
      278 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Just put it in the bank little by little every year. Maybe go to some gun shows and buy firearms and ammo with cash
      275 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Pay an artist money to make a painting and then pay an appraiser 10 grand or so and suddenly the painting is worth 740,000 dollars and someone mysteriously bought it
      267 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I'd go to every local gun show I could find, and use the cash to buy firearms, ammo, all sorts of goodies. Because it would be private sale and the owners only want cash there is no paper trail. Then if i have a need to get the cash back I'd just sell a few guns to a gun store and have a receipt
      Apteros 17 sep
      263 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • If you put anything more than $9,999 into the bank then the irs is contacted so just don’t put more than that in any bank
      252 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Tell no one. Make cash exchanges on places like facebook market and craigslist in goods with equity that can be resold quickly (puppies electronics cars jewelry shoes). Keep track of expenditures. Once you’ve reached about 20k start making normal purchases with no paper trail while mixing in (1/2)
      CCarma 17 sep
      255 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • money laundering is a fun process to look into
      Groudon 17 sep
      240 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Thanks for the advice on avoiding suspicion u/killallhumans. I too appreciate keeping a low profile with my username
      229 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Put it in my mattress
      222 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Start a laundromat with vending machines, claim you make 700 or more dollars a day in coins and cash. Can't trace shit because no receipt transactions. It'll be slow but you could integrate 200,000 in a year
      cholongo 17 sep
      213 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I know this is random but I hope that all you guys are doing okay. Quarantine has made it hard on all of us so if you need someone to talk to I'm here :) have a great day guys!
      218 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Go to The Vegas and put the whole thing on one roulette spin 😎
      198 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • In that situation id keep it. But once i did find an envelope full of cash in the womens bathroom it had 5 grand in there and as i was walking in i saw a mom with 3 little kids rush out. I thought about keeping it because being a broke 20 year old god knows i did but i turned it in and she called1\2
      189 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Spend it all on hookers. The money will leave town faster than a jet
      169 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I found a box full of crystal meth under a bridge while fishing about two months ago. Not trying to sell meth so I turned it into the cops. They said it was worth 1-2 million.
      171 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Take out a home loan, buy a house and pretend to rent it to your roommate or family member, claim the fake rent on your taxes and use the money to pay your mortage and avoid tax fraud
      162 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Its cash, no plan or scheme just pay in cash
      mistadrew 17 sep
      147 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • 1- UV light to see if any bills are marked (they will glow). 2- Use marked bills for grocery store, liquor stores, etc.. 3- Take rest of money and deposit into bank of $7,000-$8,000 increments of 1-2 weeks (not to raise suspicion from IRS). 4- Invest in stock market (alibi for IRS just incase)
      131 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Literally take it, and spend very little
      AjaxSoap 17 sep
      129 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • you buy gold and silver and wait on the value. Won’t be fucked up from inflation and slowly liquidate assets (g@s) and buy land. Rent land out said land and have a steady revenue stream for the rest of your life. Hardest part is not spending it all right away.
      129 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Put it into bitcoin and then cash out when needed
      130 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Ozark fans know exactly how 😎
      95 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Start up a burger truck buisiness and start laundering the cash. This allows you two things. One, start using the suitcase money. Two, stresslessly perfect your burger recipe, menu, and overall buisiness to create a lifetime asset and stable income.
      93 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Just deposit a bit every week and report it as odd jobs
      86 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • This would take some research but I would probably take a business loan out and start an LLC for a laundromat. After the first month regular income I would increase that income by about 5%. The following month do the same until the income is around 40% higher then what it should be. At that point-
      74 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Claim an extra 10 here 20 there, spend cash at most places, if you're not working at a place where ever bit of income is specially monitored, it's not super hard. Have a second job to do it, outgoing expenses aren't tracked if they not too large, groceries for one, noone cares (1/2)
      Ashod 17 sep
      68 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Lmao. But there’s many ways. Never spend over $9,999.99 anywhere. Don’t go buy brand new cars and shit. Live within your means. Yes you can upgrade slightly but not to the point where people go “hmm, how’d he do that?.” Don’t tell anyone that would come for it, tell others, etc. 1/2
      patsd0pe 17 sep
      66 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Break my leg and start a go fund me for my hospital bills. Then I’ll slowly start transferring money into the account and pay off the hospital bill and leave with about 600k left
      47 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Do it slowly, that money wont be really usable for a couple years
      ausermeme 17 sep
      45 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Its cash
      40 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Go to a casino. Buy 750k in chips. Play for a little while. Cash out your 749k in chips and pay taxes on it. Tell everyone you won it in a poker game. Hire Instagram models to have Sox with you
      23 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I'd pay for someone to do a sex on me
      20 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Why does everyone hate reddit
      27 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Take it, tell NO ONE, spend it very wisely, put it into my bank account little by little, and I’ll be golden.
      18 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Could you just keep it in cash?
      15 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Claim it as an anonymous gift on your tax return
      16 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • If you wanted to integrate it you have to do it in steps. Start small. One guy brought up a lemonade stand which is perfect. So make a 100$ every 3 days doing that. After about 3 months, upgrade. Lemonade cart. Make 300$ every 3 days. And so on.
      Shaun1 17 sep
      13 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Start a business that's based on labor, landscaping is a good one, you can create your own receipts for the work that you can declare taxes on.
      13 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • First I’m gonna bust a nut all over it, mark it as mine, that will keep any roaming Jews from taking my property
      Nfruits 17 sep
      13 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Buy a lot of guns and wait for the IRS to show up
      12 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • It's really only a problem if you have no job. Pay in cash. No credit/debit cards. No BIG purchases. The IRS won't find out about it as long as you don't start spending money like a mad man.
      iKelex 17 sep
      12 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Invest in a car wash
      11 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Cut a hole in your wall, take it to the bank, tell them you found it in your wall. When they send police to investigate they will find the hole in your wall and won’t give it much thought. But since you bought the property and it’s on your property, it is therefor yours legally that no one can take
      13 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Become a politician
      11 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • What’s the most you’ve ever lost on a coin toss?
      11 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Spend the cash how I please cause it’s cash and won’t raise any flags unless I’m already being tracked
      11 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Use the cash. If I really want to deposit it then every two weeks when I get paid I’ll add a few hundred into my account. Not much but it’ll add up. Invest in some gold or silver with some and so on
      11 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I've seen money that's been exposed a month, and it crumbled like leaves when handled, so good fuckin' luck.
      15 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • We don’t buy a lamborghini or anything fancy. Space it out over 20 years and you’ll be ok. Cars, house, etc all finance. No “buy on sight”
      11 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Start an only fans gift myself thr whole thing and done you have now laundered money
      11 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Just deposit a little each day or week, and if anyone asks just say you're doing a side job or something.
      Lampcap 17 sep
      9 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Move to the Ozarks and start buying property
      9 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Groceries, gas, other things that don’t get checked up on as much, probably small amounts of ammo at a time. Basically use it for small necessities and stuff like craigslist purchases which aren’t really regulated or checked up on
      9 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Get close friends to buy shit for you then you pay them back cash. EVERYTHING has to be in cash
      9 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Just use it slowly af, don’t pay for your entire mortgage payment with it, supplement it. Don’t buy a new car. Use it for your groceries and gas while you put the money you make off your job in savings. Live on the outside like u never found the money.
      itsurrboi 17 sep
      9 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Groceries and Gas
      zerosober 17 sep
      8 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Invest in real estate
      8 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Just slowly and organically? If the money is legit there’s nothing to worry about.
      8 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Nothing quite like finding a wallet and turning it in to the police only to find out it had literally thousands of dollars in it. (I did renovation work in a hella high class gated community and just found it lying around in one of the parks)
      9 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Pay my bills in cash while my paychecks filled the bank. This could go on for years. Grocery store trips. I’d not get as many airline miles but I’d have a ton of free shit.
      8 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I would start saving my own money and using that to pay for things like groceries and gas, nothing super expensive and always something you can pay for in cash. Once that money is gone, use the money you’ve saved to splurge on the expensive stuff.
      8 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • This would make an interesting movie imagine one of those community service guys find the suitcase by the road
      CumCartel 17 sep
      8 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Groceries and any store you go to... use cash
      7 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Get a good service industry job, specifically a tipped position, like waiting tables or golf drink cart server. Deposit your tips, plus a bit of the found money, every time you work, making it look like you're doing a good job on cash tips. Do this over the course of five years or so. Then invest.
      7 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Buy a car wash
      7 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • use that money to open a fake business and inflate the appearance of my income while building my credit and when i ask a bank for a line of credit it ends up being a massive amount then withdraw all of it. go to the casino spend 1/4th of it ( keep in mind every spin on a slot machine counts as a los
      7 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Purchase dilapidated real estate. Pay for it using cash. All the contractors you hire to work on it will usually give you a discount in their hourly rate if you pay in cash. Save all of your recipes. Once it’s fixed up depending on how the market is doing either sell it or rent it.
      7 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I’d just buy a bunch of shit. Fuck the fed, pussies.
      8 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Fuck the red flags. Innocent till proven guilty
      Dchavez 17 sep
      7 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • All at once, except I would bring a blue flag to raise instead of a red one
      Sniddler 17 sep
      7 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Just pay for stuff in cash and break the bills slowly overtime and put in the bank in the span of 10 years
      7 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • It’s cash so my bank won’t see the added money so I’ll just.. not mention it
      7 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Anything over 10k sets off red flags. I would deposit 500 to 1000 each week into my account and I would use cashier's checks to pay rent and bills.
      Demonikus 17 sep
      7 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Firstly buy 4 used cars in cash for cheap, and fix them up yourself on the weekends. Give work no notice and when the cars are fixed up sell them. Spend spare time designing a ton of business cards for “fake” businesses. Spend double the money you made on the cars on tools and a truck. After ((1/2))
      6 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I mean, I think the smartest thing would be to hold it, hide it somewhere only myself & my wife knew about, then any time we could pay with cash for basically the rest of our lives (gas, groceries, clothing stores, eating out or ordering pizza, vacations) take it from that
      Bearchaw 17 sep
      6 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I'd just deposit it like nothing ever happened, and when the IRS comes ill just say I found it in my backyard or something. They can't prove I obtained it illegally.
      6 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Put it in the matress and just do house upgrades and shit every now and then buy more trinkets for yourself and all that
      IceByte 17 sep
      6 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • If I did find it, sint it just mine tho? Can they really do anything about it?
      6 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Buy a personal army and found an anarchy in Wisconsin, where the weak are dead and those strong enough pillage the land, then I get enough resources to overthrow the US government
      KrusadR 17 sep
      5 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Spend lavishly on entertaining my friends in cash only. I already do that and they don’t ever ask questions
      6 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Scratch off ticketsss
      5 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show

iFunny plug-in will teach your phone to smile

get on the iFunny app to roast them

All content related issues will be solved right here.
After all necessary information is provided, of course:

Complete the form below to notify iFunny of a claim relating to your intellectual property rights and content or some technical inconvenience with the service.
(Positive and productive feedback is appreciated as well).

Your details

Your relationships to the rights holder

Type of claim

Select
Copyright Trademark Nazi-related Offensive Technical difficulties Other
Describe the issue in detail. Please be specific.
Feeling poetic today? Feel free to provide more information
By clicking on "Submit" below, you are certifying the following statements:
  • I state that I have a good faith belief that use of the work(s) in the manner complained of is not authorized by the copyright owner, its agent, or the law.
  • I state that the information in this notification is accurate and, under penalty of perjury, that I am the owner of the exclusive right that is allegedly infringed, or an authorized agent for the owner.
  • I give my permission to pass my contact information to the alleged infringing party.

Privacy notice

For a list of the categories of personal information that we collect from you and how we use that information, please review iFunny’s privacy policy