• 279 comments

    • Dad jokes are the best form of comedy you can’t change my mind
      3.1K 77
    • Petition to kill all tumblr users
      1.4K 83
    • @
      24
    • I do that whenever my mom shouts "son of a bitch!" I walkin and go "Yes?"
      9 2
    • My contact names for my parents are Spawn Point and mother fucker
      6 2
    • Once my father yelled son of a bitch ( I thought he said my name as I was on the other end of the house) when I asked him if he called me he died laughing. It's been 7 years since he was buried.
      6 1
    • If I yelled motherfucker my dad would end my life, right then and there no questions asked.
      BIG_IAN 22d
      5
    • Wait can some people curse in front of their parents without being grounded for 17 weeks?
      5 1
    • Sounds like something a tumblr user would make up but alright
      Jaizo 21d
      4
    • I just got done after 2 hours if scrolling im tierd of all these fucking features
      4
    • I’m a little disturbed your dad just allows you to casually cuss but ok
      4 10
    • Then the mailman bursts through the backdoor 'I believe they were talking about me'
      Mickial 21d
      3
    • Dad 100
      3
    • This didn’t happen
      4
    • Best dad joke 2019
      3
    • Did somebody ring the Dinkster?
      3
    • The father of all dad jokes
      3 1
    • Literally every time i say Jesus or Jesus Christ my dad goes yes?
      g2704 22d
      3
    • I hope to make this joke one day
      3
    • HybridD 22d
      3
    • TravieC 22d
      3
    • I'm a proud Southern man, unfortunately I'm black but I'm looking for a White woman to marry and live with me on my farm in Texas ❤️ she has to be Christian and support the president 🇺🇲
      4 12
    • the next door neighbor, the milkman, the mailman, and your best friend were in line behind him, ready with the same reply.
      3
    • Dad: You rang? Me: No, I was talking to myself
      2 1
    • One time I was walking with my dad and a group of middle school aged boys ran up to us and asked my dad if he could tell one of their friends he was being a pussy (for whatever reason they did not elaborate) and my dad replied “is that what that smell is?”
      2
    • I do the same when my mom yells out son of a bitch.
      2
    • My English teacher told my class that the computer science teacher(total dad joke guy, I love him) makes jokes in the break room that take the English teacher 3+ hours to understand.
      2
    • But if I said "fuck", my dad would rain hell and fire on me because he's an asshole.
      2
    • My dad would scold me for cursing and I don’t even live at home anymore
      Midgepo 22d
      2 1
    • My mom's boyfriend hates cursing. One time he stubbed his toe and shouted "MOTHERFATHERBROTHERSOOOON" and it was the funniest shit
      2
    • And the mail man pops in at the same time.
      2
    • I read this as “I stabbed my toe” and was like “WTF!!!!”
      2
    • That's not a dad joke that's a Chad joke.
      2
    • I got stung by a bee 🐝 today
      2
    • I read “you rang” in Cayde-6’s voice cause that is totally something he would’ve said
      2
    • Was it just me that thought motherfucker with a soft m was spelled perfectly to say it like i stubbed my toe in my mind
      2
    • And then everyone clapped
      2
    • You can tell he had caps lock on and he pressed shift at the beginning
      2
    • The ultimate dad joke was your birth
      3
    • Make sure to comment subscribe to pewdiepie
      iModels 22d
      2
    • Whenever my boyfriend and his dad argue, my boyfriend will call him a motherfucker and his dad will call him a son of a bitch and then they will start laughing
      2
    • Im 23, and my dad would still smack the shit out of me if he heard me swearing
      2
    • My dad and uncle where carrying a bookshelf down some stairs, my dad nearly missed a step and shouted "son of a bitch!" To whitch i responded "yeah dad?" And they both almost dropped the shelf laughing
      Gaza 22d
      2
    • Best form of a dad joke
      2
    • I get it
      2
    • Dad, I'm hungry.
      Kappaii 22d
      2
    • Ultimate son joke is when your mother calls you a son of a bitch... Three of us chiming in at the same time "don't be so hard on yourself"
      kremlor 20d
      1
    • My dad called me a son of a bitch one time....self-insult it was
      1
    • My dad would’ve just beat my ass
      TRIPx6 21d
      1
    • I see you also use the caps lock key and still hit shift on the first letter... hmm. Fml
      Mai87 22d
      1
    • Went to the hospital and overheard people with therapy dogs. This old dude walked in and asked “is this an animal hospital now?” I cringed so hard.
      1
    • 10/10 for dad joke power and timing
      2
    • Actually Mother Fucker means you dump a load in a lady and she gets knocked up and you stop calling her.
      1 1
    • Something once bothered my dad enough for him to say "Son of Bitch" I responded with "Yes?" My mother laughed so hard she almost peed her pants
      1
    • I’ve seen this like a dozen times and it’s never been funny
      1
    • Where are all these parents that not only tolerate their children swearing but play along with it? Could it be that they don't actually exist and this was a ploy for notes? Hmm...
      1 2
    • Ha wish my dad was this good of a parent
      1
    • haha
      1
    • BAHAHAHAHAHAHHA I CANT BREATHE 😂😂😂
      1
    • I thought it said “I stabbed my toe”
      1
    • That's pretty funny actually.
      1 1
    • X tumblr users never have true stories
      1
    • Then cheeks were clapped
      Ozpley 22d
      1
    • mOther
      1
    • I’m glad he was confident
      1
    • Dad jokes would be hilarious if it weren't for people lying like this to make up for the fact their parents disowned them for identifying as a potted plant
      1
    • (X)
      1
    • Best way to keep ur kids cussing to a min
      1
    • this is so funny, especially since it’s been featured 50 times.
      1 1
    • My husband has already done this to our son lol.
      1
    • 2012 called they want their joke back lol
      1
    • Fake
      Brotard 22d
      2 1
    • My go-to is “fOCK”
      1
    • That was such an uncle joke that you are about to touch your nephew
      1 1
    • I was doing a song performance in physics and I messed up a tiny bit and apparently yelled “shit” I thought I had just muttered it. I thought I was toast when I saw my teacher red in the face but it was because he was laughing
      2
    • HAHAHAHA-you’re still grounded
      0m1n0u5 22d
      1
    • Hi
      1
    • Kick ass two tho
      1
    • I read this “u range?” And didn’t get it
      SECONE 22d
      1
    • Ive been saying that shit for years and im only about to turn 20
      1
    • I'm going to be the bane of my future children's existence because of my nonstop absolutely terrible dad jokes
      1
    • Okay this is ebic
      1
    • Man if I said that when I lived with my parents I’d get the shit beat outa me
      1
    • I don’t get it
      1 1
    • Everyone is a motherfucka
      JimEd 22d
      1
    • Dummy we all know dads don’t exist
      1
    • lol Stan to Steve while looking at Frannie "I hit that last night"
      LAWLr 22d
      1
    • Nothing will top this. This is the father of all dad jokes
      1
    • I don’t get it
      1
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