• I once burglarized ahome stole a
safe. I cracked the safe discovered
photos of the owner molesting a child.
He reported the burglary to police. I
turned the photos in. The cops called
him in to discuss the burglary. He
confessed. We both went to prison.
@® Aidan Moher @adribbleofink
Tell me a story about yourself the sounds like a
lie but is absolutely true.
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  • 1764 comments

    • I fell in love with a girl when I was 18, I found out after a few dates that my father murdered her brother when I was 9 years old. We were both affected by it during our childhood. We're still together for 8 years now.
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    • I pissed in a cup and did more time in prison than a guy that went to prison for touching a kid, got out, and then touched another kid
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    • Child molesters get fucked on in prison. Other inmates despise them and make their life hell, as it should be
      BeIlona 13 jan
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    • I am not super familiar with the judicial system but isn't evidence acquired illegally invalidated?
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    • The first time I confessed to my crush was in 4th grade. I remember that her name was Kathia. The teacher told me, “Kyle, we don’t talk about love.” Haven’t falling in love since. It’s probably the autism, though.
      iNeptulon 13 jan
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    • I bought a VHS tape of Dick Tracy online. My parents had sold ours years ago and I wanted to show it from my friend. We popped it in and realized that someone had taped their kids birthday party over it. Specifically, it was my birthday party. It was the same VHS we sold years ago
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    • I was staying at the hosptial with my mom (she had cancer). A nurse came over to me and told me there was a couple across the hallway that needed help. I was only 15 so I was like "uh okay". Anyway, I signed their will. Don't know if it was even legal or where they're at now, but my 15 year old-
      Rhitard 13 jan
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    • When I had my 1st seizure, I completely flatlined for 5minutes (so I was told) & I have a vivid dream in which I saw practically nothing but felt like I was drowning & burning at the same time...so I guess I died & went to hell for 5 minutes when I was 9
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    • I had sex.
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    • I was zip lining and my little wheely thing had two locking mechanisms. I heard a click as I was going over a huge river 200 feet below me and realized the first lock came undone. I reached up and popped the first one back into place right before the second lock came undone
      Sunbloom 13 jan
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    • Get rid of all this p0rn
      Iifehaks 12 jan
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    • you are bad-guy. but this does not mean you bad guy
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    • Was talking to a girl from school, but it wasn’t official. Meanwhile at my work, I was banging some MILF because her husband was in jail; she was my sugar mama. Things start getting serious between me and girl from school, go to meet parents (well parent)...her mom is my sugar mama
      MlNT 13 jan
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    • There’s already some top comments so this should get lost. I was playing pretend doctor with a kid when I was like 4. So me and him are playing pretend doctor then I say “I gotta pee” I guess he thought I was joking so he said the toilet is in his closet. I then went and proceeded to pee in his-
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    • Me and my cousin found a body while out looking for morsels after I accidentally stepped in it. I didn’t even realize it was a body until I took my foot out and there were guts and stuff on it. The noose he had hung himself with was still around his neck. Still traumatized by it.
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    • I dated this girl when I was 17 (she was 16) I honest to god loved her. She was every thing to me. Then I found out she had heart problems. Long story short she died of cardiac arrest. It’s been 8 years. Still haven’t dated anyone else
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    • This OP did go to prison, but imagine the amount of lives he saved...
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    • I wiped my friends ass in preschool because he didn’t know how and didn’t want the teacher to do it
      porkoi 13 jan
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    • Me and my friends got chased by a gang because were taking a short cut through the bad part of town while walking to the mall my friend Marco decided to wear all red while the rest of us were wearing mostly blue. We walked passed this apartment complex and there were all these guys wearing red 1/2
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    • Honestly I think the thief should get probation in this case unless he was a repeat offender
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    • I stepped on brad Pitt's foot at an ice rink one time, he got mouthy and wanted to fight but his security guard told him to calm the fuck down brad then appologise and said he has just had a bad few days. The next week I saw on the news that him and jennifer Aniston broke up.
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    • I remember this day very clearly. When I served in the military we were attacked at what was about sunrise and three grenades were thrown at us one of the grenades happened to land just about 5 feet away from me and when I saw it I froze I didn't know what to do ,and by nothing short of a miracle...
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    • I once beat up a roided out midget at a Filipino "massage" place in the Middle East bc the women massaging me wanted me to pay for sex, but I only wanted a massage and the midget was trying to keep me there until I either paid for sex or paid to leave. I picked him up and threw him down the hallway.
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    • Once for my 6th birthday my father drove 2 hours to take me to Chuck-e-cheese (we lived in a small town in butt fuck nowhere) anyways once I turned 8 I became friends with the new kid only to find out that she has the same birthday. Just last year (we are now 19) we were going threw her childhood
      tootus 13 jan
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    • At about 7 years old I had no friends due to my shyness and awkwardness that my two older siblings told me about some kids around my age that lived in nearby towns, and to call them. It took me a year to find out it was really them using a higher pitched voice over the phone.
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    • My family (now upper middle class) was homeless 5 years ago and we watched pirates of the Caribbean every single day for months
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    • When I was in 1st grade, I had to take a shit, but the teacher wouldn't let me go to the bathroom. So I shit myself and then put the turd on a shelf in the classroom.
      acads 13 jan
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    • He should still get some sentence for breaking and entering, but it should be greatly diminished for catching that sick fuck
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    • One time I missed the bus for a flight leaving at 4am from a sort of secluded airport because the only train was late. I was planning to be 2 hours early for the flight. So I ran to the airport. 15 miles in the snow wearing boots holding a suitcase. Made the flight by less than 5 minutes
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    • I once pulled 2 guys from a car that had flipped upside down and was on fire. Everyone else was standing around watching as I broke the glass and cut their seat belts and pulled them from the car as flames began engulfing the inside of the car. I heard them yell they couldn’t get the other guy out.
      Brutus56 13 jan
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    • This is so fake it’s off of the story that used to be featured on here all the time Jesus people can’t think for them selfs anymore
      tac0s 12 jan
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    • Professionals have standards
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    • I had just made e-4 for graduating nuke mechanic a school on Halloween of 2017 when I came home to see my roommate had hung himself. After calling 911 and preforming CPR for like 30 minutes the duty chief knocked on the door to find me wearing a cop uniform with short shorts, fuzzy cuffs->
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    • My parents fully believe that the ghost of my dead Caribbean Grandfather was trying to find me. When we had an apartment in Brooklyn I would wake up crying and screaming. I was >3yrs old too young to remember but old enough to articulate some words. Apparently I kept saying "man come me" (1/2
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    • Not gonna lie, If I stole from someone but In doing so I found out they did something way worse, I would sacrifice myself to take that person down.
      Mythical_ 12 jan
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    • We rented a room to this Korean dude who barely spoke english, so we barely talked to him. he lived with us for 4 months with no problems. One night at 3am he knocks on my moms bedroom door butt-naked, shaved, and oiled, and with an erection and asked very politely to have sex with her.
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    • I was 17 and talked to this 17 y.o girl on a dating app, really cute light skin. We talked, exchanged and got returns 😏, we spoke for years on and off type, I'm 22 now, I see her Snapchat story with her birthday and it was a lottery scratcher and she posted "This is a thing when you turn 18 right?"
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    • I used to sing in Central Park for money. They always told us not to go to Central Park at night because it was dangerous. Well, I was really busy one day and had no time to go in the afternoon. I was also super broke and super hungry. Anyways, I was chilling on a bench with my cup just singing.cont
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    • One time my neighbors had a visitor and during the time he was there I played guitar with the dude a few times. Found out later that the guy was a guitarist in red hot chilli peppers at one point
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    • I made a FNAF google slideshow in 5th grade and shared it with my friends. One of them was named Tyler. Tyler elosophin or something. I typed in Tyler, and clicked on the first name suggestion that popped up. A few days later I was called to the principals office and the police were there. 1/2
      Leprucon 13 jan
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    • Years ago (I was like 6) when my family was trying to sell our house a man came over to look around. The house stood behind a row of five ish 50 foot tall trees, and it was pretty windy that day. We showed the guy around the property and as we were coming around the front we heard a crack and one...
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    • I snuck out at 2 in the morning when I was 17 at a cabin in the middle of nowhere so I could be in the hot tub and a wild bear got in with me.
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    • I got lost in the woods and a wolf guided me back to the trail. Chat for details.
      Mythbuff 12 jan
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    • You’re both horrible but he’s worse
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    • I was hiking in Wyoming when I was 15. I ended up going off the trail and falling off the side of a cliff. As I was falling, I thought for sure I would die on impact, as there were huge evergreen trees about 200 yards beneath me. Instead-thank GOD-I fell on a landing and didn’t slide off. I climbed
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    • I took two girls to homecoming at the same time my senior year
      Spectrei 13 jan
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    • If I were the burglar I would tell the police and ask for If I were the burglar I would tell the police and ask for a deal if I prove the guy deserved it
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    • My dad pants me at subway and I wasn’t wearing underwear
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    • Found a dog running around lost during a snow storm, took him in and called his owners. They came to get him. A whole year later I took my grandma to the dog shelter to pick out a dog. And that dog was literally in a cage there and was just turned in. (I had a pic for reference too.) The employees
      Pandiiii 15 jan
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    • I once went to pick up 8 g of 🍄 from a girl in sacramento which is an hour away from my place. Anyways, i meet her and we get in her car to make the exchange. After i get ahold of them, i looked her dead in the face, and ate all of them right in front of her, and asked her where we’re going 😂 (1/2
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    • When I was 5 years old my dad took me to our neighborhood swimming pool. I didn't know how to swim yet (obviously), but I had a super strong desire to just jump into the 12 foot deepend (and I did). I remember wailing around and floating to the bottom of the pool (I had let all my air out from-
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    • One time there was a girl at my school who I witnessed dropped her drink on the floor and it went everywhere. Nobody was helping her so I went and got a ton of paper towels. We never exchanged names and I have never seen her again but I am sure that I made her day.
      BenTheCat 13 jan
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    • Chaotic Good.
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    • Honor Restored
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    • Saw a rabdom clear silhouette of a woman smack my alarm box and it start going crazy. Then the next night my alarm clock starts beeping, and everytine I turn it off and disable the alarm it starts beeping again a few minutes later. Took out the batteries and the unused alarm in the kitchen goes off
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    • You are bad guy, but this does not mean you are bad guy.
      madlad109 12 jan
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    • Should have turned in the CP to the police, along with the other stolen goods. Pretty sure since he would've been reporting a bigger crime, they'd have let him go
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    • I’ve died a few times due to medical and other complications but one of the times I drowned and before I was resuscitated I remember seeing my older brother who had died a year earlier and he told me it wasn’t my time yet.
      Maziek 14 jan
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    • Dad forced me to go after party at wedding. Super hot girl forced incel me to dance, only knew one move. Back spinned on the dancefloor not once but twice for a lady for the papers. Went back to table without the ladies number and her underwear.
      DoomDude 13 jan
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    • I once broke an arcade game by reaching in and grabbing a ball from the ball return after my game was up.
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    • When I was 6 I hung out with my friends around our apartment complex and I had to pee so rather than go home, go to a friends house, or pee outside- I went inside the building on a random floor and just pissed all over the carpet.
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    • Shoulda just lied and said you were looking for evidence the guy molested a kid
      kjlear001 13 jan
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    • My sister and I almost set our house on fire while trying to roast marshmallows under a dead evergreen tree the day after fire fighters came to our school to talk about fire safety.
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    • Was at work and these two girls come in. One is so wasted she says I want chicken nuggets. I being the smart person I am take advantage of this and say that will be $600. She says noooo I dont have that much! Her friend orders for her and I make the food and when I go to give it out she says 1/2
      VoidLance 14 jan
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    • In my science class there was a jenga tower standing on one block and one of the missing blocks were on my desk, so I threw the block at the tower expecting it to topple over but instead the block I threw knocked a center block out of the tower with out toppling it. That block then landed vertically
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    • What 6ix9 would do if he robbed houses
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    • When I was around 6 and my brother around 4, we were playing on my top bunk with the window open when we should’ve been asleep. All I remember is him falling out the window, and how I was able to reach out just in time to grab his pants and yank him back in. (1/2)
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    • During a pep rally at my school, we held basketball match with the Westlake (special ed program at our school) kids and some classmate volunteers and some students that were aiding the tards. During the match, I took a picture of the game with the caption “Where are the wranglers if a tard (1/?)
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    • When my boyfriend and I got into a fight I started having a severe panic attack. I told him not to call 911 because I didn't want them to think he was at fault when the whole fight was my own. I sat on the floor crying for hours with him just standing there not knowing what to do. I could have died
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    • Sometimes you have to break the law to enforce it
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    • I lived out of my car with my gf for months and we stole pokemon cards from Walmart’s all over the country and sold them at flea markets to make money, we also found a tiny antique store in the middle of the Pennsylvania forests with an old man who sold me a megalodon tooth and he raised emus
      KBGN 15 jan
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    • *We both went to prison and got anal!
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    • I drowned as a kid(to be more exact, my aunt threw me in the pool and I drowned...) After the pain of my lungs filling with water passed it was peaceful and the last thing i saw was a door open underwater and it looked like an old man was coming through but before he came through I was rescued cnt.
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    • I didn’t like this one girl throughout high school. What I didn’t know was she was in the medical academy at our high school. Well a few years pass from when I first meet her. She was a junior and I was a senior. Well, I was driving to school and got into a really bad accident. A local high school
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    • I fucked a guy and then it turned out that he was my to be step brother
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    • I live in roswell the town known for 👽👽but never really seen anything myself until one day me and my mom in law took a trip out of town but on our way back we were driving in the left lane of the road and on the right of us in the flat field next to the right lane of us we saw a very large (cont)
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    • I went to a club found a random girl then we went back to my hotel and smashed no words exchanged
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    • Not gonna post porn mostly so I can say, if anyone is going through abuse and needs connections to safe places and lawyers. DM me, stay safe!
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    • I too would voluntarily turn myself in just to send his ass to rot
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    • Footage 12 jan
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    • At Six flags, my dad, sister and I went on Vertical Velocity. My dad is a naturally big guy and wasn't really fitting in the harness. It only clicked once (it's supposed to click twice). The staff said it was fine and we proceeded. Two weeks later, the same happened to another guy but he fell off.
      ChimpPimp 13 jan
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    • My friend yoinked my phone when I was sleeping in class and unsuccessfully tried flirting with my crush. There was no way she would believe “my friend sent that...”
      DEDDED 13 jan
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    • Should of just mailed them in anonymously, then you wouldn’t of been caught (unless you’re a dumbass who robbed a house with security cameras and you were caught on video
      Dexter 13 jan
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    • Once I fucked my friends mom and then a year later he did me dirty and then I told everyone I fucked his mom and acted like I did it after he messed with me just because he pissed me off but in reality I just couldn’t not tell people anymore
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    • I was walking in the woods behind my dads house and found I was being followed by a cougar, only because it was dark and the eye shine caught my attention. Walked backwards the whole way home, and it followed me pace for pace til I was out of the woods.
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    • Phexal 12 jan
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    • I was driving behind a van and a truck pulled out in front of it and the van smashed into it and pulled over to the side of the road. It was smoking like crazy and there was a whole family inside. The dad was the driver and I noticed his arm was bleeding like he cut it on glass or something so I
      OwsIa 15 jan
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    • Was gonna have the "not necessarily 'bad guy'" meme but dang, these replies are interesting
      Etskie 14 jan
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    • Fake and gay.
      Doctor_O 13 jan
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    • When I was in kindergarten I was at a field trip at the zoo when an ostrich’s poked his head out of the fence and took my tuna sandwich I grabbed it’s neck while it’s head was bent over and it yeeted it’s back which is when I ripped the sandwich out of its mouth and proceeded to eat it
      LiveVibes 13 jan
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    • It’s a sad reality when a kid diddler gets less time then for a guy who pirates things. The country is fucking filthy most of the time
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    • Tell me a story about yourself that sounds like a lie, but it is absolutely true, but is actually a lie
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    • Someone young help how do you see the rest of the comment some of y’all be writing books and grabbing my attention
      KOmedic 13 jan
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    • I piece of a .45 hollow point is in my left ear. When i was 12 somebody shot at the caprice we were in and one of the hollow points went through the window divider and split upon exiting. A piece went into my ear.
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