I'M SAVING MYSELF FOR
A VIRGIN TRAD WIFE I WISH I COULD ONE DAY MARRY A DERANGED ASOCIAL SCHIZOID. I
Assume Assume
25 may
I'M SAVING MYSELF FOR A VIRGIN TRAD WIFE I WISH I COULD ONE DAY MARRY A DERANGED ASOCIAL SCHIZOID. I
Me: hate spoiled children"
Also me with my dogs...
MemeAsFuck MemeAsFuck
21 sep 2020
Me: hate spoiled children" Also me with my dogs...
Frogs: exist
Biology teachers:
i have no problem murdering several of you
CommanderThorn_ CommanderThorn_
19 nov 2020
Frogs: exist Biology teachers: i have no problem murdering several of you
"Oh you're going to join Verizon? Are you
Sharp Sharp
24 sep 2020
"Oh you're going to join Verizon? Are you
averagefairy
why do they even sell phone screen cleaning wipes haven't you ever heard of rubbing your phone on your boob til it's clean? you can't sell me anything more effective than my own tiddy
averagefairy why do they even sell phone screen cleaning wipes haven't you ever heard of rubbing your phone on your boob til it's clean? you can't sell me anything more effective than my own tiddy
holder
My sister got a net to keep the dog in the back seat but she does not accept
Edward_yoyo Edward_yoyo
26 sep 2020
holder My sister got a net to keep the dog in the back seat but she does not accept
me in my car outside gamestop waiting for the employee that looks like my dead brother to start his shift
ChromosomieHomie ChromosomieHomie
3 oct 2020
me in my car outside gamestop waiting for the employee that looks like my dead brother to start his shift
My poor French teacher today was talking about the word "cell phone" and how in
German the word for cell phone translates to handy..... which led to
Professor: Isn't that so cute!? The word handy is just adorable. Like why don't we say that in
English.
One brave Student: .....because it's slang for a handjob
Professor: *visibly looses five years off his life* why are you Americans like this.
My poor French teacher today was talking about the word "cell phone" and how in German the word for cell phone translates to handy..... which led to Professor: Isn't that so cute!? The word handy is just adorable. Like why don't we say that in English. One brave Student: .....because it's slang for a handjob Professor: *visibly looses five years off his life* why are you Americans like this.
eres only an age difference o three days between these two.
JonSnowandGhost JonSnowandGhost
22 jan 2021
eres only an age difference o three days between these two.
Everyone: Buff dog isn't real, he can't hurt you
Buff Dog:
He's just standing there... ME
NACINGLY
Moneyluv Moneyluv
24 sep 2020
Everyone: Buff dog isn't real, he can't hurt you Buff Dog: He's just standing there... ME NACINGLY
When your food sounds like a battlefield in the microwave but still comes out cold
When your food sounds like a battlefield in the microwave but still comes out cold
isabella steger @
yes, it's true. long cat, known as nobiko in japan, has left us.
Agentdeness Agentdeness
20 sep 2020
isabella steger @ yes, it's true. long cat, known as nobiko in japan, has left us.
How think I look like eating a watermelon
Reality
happy_sneakyrico26 happy_sneakyrico26
18 dec 2020
How think I look like eating a watermelon Reality
The Duality of Man.
So you consider yourself an aspiring writer?
Describe this woman in your best prose
I saw her again today. The woman of my dreams. Locks of ebony
hair, dark like a starless night and beautiful as the sun setting over the sea. I yearn to be with her.
Today's the day I will make her mine, whether by words of force or by the ropes in my car. She will be so beautiful on our wedding
KeklingJester
260
"She got Fat Fucking Milkers"
Normal Laps
162 12
dwizzy9904 dwizzy9904
3 feb
The Duality of Man. So you consider yourself an aspiring writer? Describe this woman in your best prose I saw her again today. The woman of my dreams. Locks of ebony hair, dark like a starless night and beautiful as the sun setting over the sea. I yearn to be with her. Today's the day I will make her mine, whether by words of force or by the ropes in my car. She will be so beautiful on our wedding KeklingJester 260 "She got Fat Fucking Milkers" Normal Laps 162 12
Friend: You got any plans tonight?
Me:
AWS
myplaymate myplaymate
24 apr
Friend: You got any plans tonight? Me: AWS
My dog Is 16, so figured it's time for some driving lessons
QueenSpire QueenSpire
22 sep 2020
My dog Is 16, so figured it's time for some driving lessons