He fell asleep waiting for me to finish working.
He fell asleep waiting for me to finish working.
People at my funeral talking about my meme addiction
They were like goldep-nuggets to that boy.
People at my funeral talking about my meme addiction They were like goldep-nuggets to that boy.
As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
She removes all her clothes and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
Quicher Quicher
20 nov 2020
As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothes and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
Me at 2 a.m. drunkenly entranced by the slow spinning of a Hot Pocket in the microwave
WolfenRedux WolfenRedux
11 sep 2020
Me at 2 a.m. drunkenly entranced by the slow spinning of a Hot Pocket in the microwave
2050, when you order a fish burger.
JMIII_BUT_CANCER JMIII_BUT_CANCER
25 sep 2020
2050, when you order a fish burger.
when you open the oven and the heat blows right into your face
KWISPY
Bionemesis Bionemesis
23 oct 2020
when you open the oven and the heat blows right into your face KWISPY
Matryoshkat
How many cats do you
have?
be
Himiko Himiko
28 sep 2020
Matryoshkat How many cats do you have? be
Sutikusu Sutikusu
24 sep 2020
Eat downstairs. It's close by,
vvnen you re tigntening a bolt really tight, and then it suddenly gets really loose.
Bread_of_Pain Bread_of_Pain
20 nov 2020
vvnen you re tigntening a bolt really tight, and then it suddenly gets really loose.
Microsoft: Your license isn't genuine.
You may be a victim of software
counterfeiting.
Me:
am not in danger, Microsoft,
I am the danger.
Microsoft: Your license isn't genuine. You may be a victim of software counterfeiting. Me: am not in danger, Microsoft, I am the danger.
When someone gets loud with you and you thinking about unleashing every single one of your inner demons
rbob1 rbob1
28 dec 2020
When someone gets loud with you and you thinking about unleashing every single one of your inner demons
AT LEAST I WONT GET TRICKED THIS BLACK FRIDAY LIKE WHEN I SPENT 6 HOURS WAITIN IN LINE 4 A WALMART DOOR BUSTER TV AN THEN FINDIN OUT WAS ACTUALLY CHILLIN INA HOMELESS CAMP
SkweezyJibbz SkweezyJibbz
24 nov 2020
AT LEAST I WONT GET TRICKED THIS BLACK FRIDAY LIKE WHEN I SPENT 6 HOURS WAITIN IN LINE 4 A WALMART DOOR BUSTER TV AN THEN FINDIN OUT WAS ACTUALLY CHILLIN INA HOMELESS CAMP
Look at Rob Gronkowski. He looks like my pants after I spill hot gravy on
myself. Aah ooh aah it burns hot gravy
tong'
LordOTurtles LordOTurtles
6 nov 2020
Look at Rob Gronkowski. He looks like my pants after I spill hot gravy on myself. Aah ooh aah it burns hot gravy tong'
yeetusdelutus420 yeetusdelutus420
26 sep 2020
sNew. 1. Write the word "boob'{
MAY HOLD YOU? -ONLY IF YOU'RE PATIENT
\ ENOUGH.
wawd
@wawawiwacomics wiwa
johnb520 johnb520
24 sep 2020
MAY HOLD YOU? -ONLY IF YOU'RE PATIENT \ ENOUGH. wawd @wawawiwacomics wiwa
Can't wait to be a father so I can randomly walk into my sons room and look at him like this
PiedPiper815 PiedPiper815
27 may
Can't wait to be a father so I can randomly walk into my sons room and look at him like this
Fuck this ankle bracelet. If my parole officer is
watching, fuck you too.
Scotty Kilmer 217K views 3 months ago
studerish studerish
22 jun
Fuck this ankle bracelet. If my parole officer is watching, fuck you too. Scotty Kilmer 217K views 3 months ago
A FOOLISH MAN IS LACTOSE INTOLERANT
A WISE.MAN SIMPLY TOLERATES IT
A FOOLISH MAN IS LACTOSE INTOLERANT A WISE.MAN SIMPLY TOLERATES IT
oaksy
texas confession
i've never seen snow irl
oaksy
i posted this and it snowed like two inches a week later for the first time in like 35 years wtf
BA oaksy texas confession
i've never had a million dollars
davycrockpot43 davycrockpot43
27 sep 2020
oaksy texas confession i've never seen snow irl oaksy i posted this and it snowed like two inches a week later for the first time in like 35 years wtf BA oaksy texas confession i've never had a million dollars