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    • Why are you bringing an 8 foot python to school? Is he going to get a good education?
      AwesomeAceZ a month
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    • Niggas really out here named Humphrey
      Z_ero a month
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    • So my foot is totally stuck in there, right? I’m freaking out, the dog is having a seizure, and I’ve still got an 8ft python in my bag.
      waffleman17 a month
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    • So my foots completely stuck, I’m freaking out. The dogs having a seizure, and I still have half a pie left!!
      BiggRed449 a month
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    • School shootings are illegal, but no one ever said anything about school feedings
      8
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    • "I still have half a pie left, my foot is stuck in the toilet, and the dog is having a seizure"
      Ultomato a month
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    • People don’t have time to pay attention to bags full of writhing reptilian hatred because they have to spend so much time focusing on judging your blemishes and facial structure to determine your value.
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    • If I remember correctly, they needed to take the snake to the vet but they don't have a car so they had to take public transportation, not a damn school bus, you fucks. Kids in cities use public buses for school too. Like so others can see
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    • It's true guys, everyone else is too involved worrying about themselves. They don't have time to worry about you.
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    • “You’re a nice guy. Don’t come to school tomorrow.”
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    • 4
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    • She took the bus to the vets on public transportation at a time of day many students were coming home from school
      4
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    • You dumb fuckers they aren't talking about a school bus they're talking about public transportation during the rush after schools end for the day
      WOOZl 25d
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    • Or maybe they’re just too scared to ask. Not about to fuck with someone who has an 8’ snake.
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    • 4
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    • Aqua man drowns in endgame
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    • Once caught a black snake and let it loose in the teachers lounge. Was awesome.
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    • 3
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    • Or they were too scared to say shit 🤣
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    • Had my young ball python with me and went into multiple places and literally nobody noticed him being on my shoulders/around my neck, I even had my hair up and it was the craziest thing like people really don’t pay any attention
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    • John mulaney "say more right noww!"
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    • So there I was, the dog was having a seizure, and I had only half a pie left.
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    • Wilderness a month
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    • 3019 a month
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    • This is like the Drake and Josh story "so I was sitting there with half a pie my leg caught and the dogs totally having a seizure" except it's not as wtf it's probably a simpler explantation than that one
      2
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    • So there was eight feet of snake in a single shopping bag
      _Izanami_ a month
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    • I too have to contain an 8 ft python on the reg
      Shackles a month
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    • What are run on sentences?
      2
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    • I saw endgame and let me tell you I could not fathom spoiling it for others enjoy tf out of the movie but see it fast for the movie itself is a spoiler so go enjoy it asap before those that have not fallen victim to spoilers can still enjoy the full capacity of the film
      2
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    • I'm just going to dl tumblr. Seems like that's where all the dumb, easy pussy is at.
      TruOpinions a month
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    • There is a difference between being self conscious of something people will notice because it’s expected. And something people are afraid to point out
      Mrderp27 a month
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    • Proof that it doesn't matter what your socks look like (ladies)
      2
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    • I remember this one girl who had a sizable zit on her chin in the ninth grade and another girl who had to wear bangs over her forehead because of a bad breakout. People occasionally remember.
      Sassaphrass a month
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    • Very true. I would take my bearded dragon to the grocery store and no one ever noticed. He would sit right on my shoulder and I would talk to people for a solid 10-15 minutes and no one ever said anything.
      tarynitup87 a month
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    • No 8ft python is small enough nor light enough to fit in a shopping bag
      Pity a month
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    • You can't fit an 8 foot python in a grocery bag.
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    • If I saw someone calmly carrying around a bag with a pissed danger noodle I wouldn’t say shit.
      Atlantic_ a month
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    • yea until they make fun of your big forehead and you use your hair to cover it up but they keep milking it
      BigFork a month
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    • Well let me tell you this, I secretly make fun of people's bad looking hair in my mind.
      LongCrutch a month
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    • iAhegao a month
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    • I couldn't help but notice your buldge from across the room
      emmaforsn a month
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    • Inigga
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    • I notice every detail of all the girls on my bus.
      hawl 21d
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    • Lies, didn’t do my hair and every fucken person asked if I’m having a bad day
      1
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    • Nigga could t afford a AK47
      zxasy 23d
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    • 1
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    • The one time you remember to check for the One-time-I-dreamt username and it isn’t there
      1
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    • That moment when you know someone in the comments knows what happened, but also the guy who spoils movies is here too.
      1
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    • 1
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    • Need background for this story
      _dragon15 a month
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    • On a very different note, to all my dudes out there that like guns like me, don’t be afraid to conceal carry. People are too wrapped up in their own little worlds and paying attention to their phones or the people they’re with to notice that the gun in your waistband is printing a little.
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    • Yeah ok that definitely happened
      1
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    • How the hell did you shove 8ft of snake in a shopping bag?
      Schurke1342 a month
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    • If it was a snake it would’ve bitten you
      1
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    • Well I’m sitting here the dogs having a seizure and I still have half the pie left
      1
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    • People like to point out the things that make you insecure to feel powerful
      bWax967 a month
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    • Tf you gonna say about a snake on a bus, you just gonna get everybody killed. But Jasmine got a fat pimple on her head and everybody needs to know that
      Incongruity a month
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    • I thought he was talking about a different kind of Python.
      Cuddlepot a month
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    • Thanos gets a gun and shoots gibby in the throat...
      1
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    • I smuggle a large python around in my pants every day, my penis is so small it makes it easier to conceal
      GingerGod28 a month
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    • Barley contained reptilian hatred
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    • Probably some kind of environmental right who took it from the school. For the record, there's a reason that Florida has an issue with pythons. People let them loose and they do not stop growing for awhile.
      W4SNEY a month
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    • Mr.incredible dies in endgame
      inibba1 a month
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    • Or because people make eye contact and look you in the eyes or at your face bc theyre not socially awkward cretins
      1
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    • What fucking bag is there that you found just casually carry a 75 pound writhing mini-Jormungandr around in?
      YaBoi588 a month
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    • Watch out, Florida Man is breeding
      MattyDGames a month
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    • I sneaked my 8 in Python everywhere
      Sage5 a month
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    • I remember bringing my 8 inch colt python in for school one day too
      1
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    • I got self conscious just now because I had to carry a box of fries that was from February from my room (it was really moldy yummy) and I didn’t want my mom to get mad and my dad had friends where the trash can was outside so I didn’t know what to do
      doc_elite a month
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    • It's called the spotlight effect. Like yourself, other people focus too much on how they look, giving them no time to notice what's wrong with you.
      AskScoob a month
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    • No. People probably noticed.
      1
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    • Commas. Use them.
      Venenarius a month
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    • So my foot was really in there, right?
      1
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    • I had a mosquito bite on my forehead yesterday and that's exactly what people looked at when talking to me. People notice shit.
      1
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    • Someone likely saw, they just minded their business
      1
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    • I also need more details.
      1
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    • This would only get someone over their insecurities by making them very curious as to what the heck they were doing?
      Jadenthegem a month
      1
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    • This is some real shit
      NicePresent a month
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    • Fuck the full story this gave me the confidence I needed
      1
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    • Story’s fake but yeah you shouldn’t worry over shit like that
      OrangeJoey a month
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    • I did this with my dog once. No one fucking snitched, but My lame ass Gym teacher caught me in the front of the building and reported me. No tit lesbian bitch.
      1
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    • JoeCole990 a month
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    • The day Jimmys boa ate the wash
      1
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    • I'm getting ads for autism. So I either have it, or they are telling me to look for signs of it. This post is showing a lot of signs.
      1
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    • tc and i’ll post multiple pics of my cat and hamsters
      1
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    • ENDGAME SPOILERS BELOW! DONT SCROLL DOWN
      1
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    • Sounds like the beginning to a hentai
      1
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    • content not available more
      StupidTroll a month
      1
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    • I've put my dick in a bag too
      1
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    • Yeah that didn’t happen lol. Huge stretch
      1
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    • Arcaeca a month
      1
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    • Not it
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    • 10 likes and I'll post a pic of my danger noodle
      1
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    • lowlansky a month
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