• gyreclaws:
If you ever think I'm a good role
model, just know this: I took a
poison ivy plant and rubbed it all
over this girl's car that I hated in
high school. Horrifically that same
day, she was carpooling 3 other
girls that I didn't like to the mall.
The next day they came in
covered in rashes and had to give
the pe teacher a note because it
had spread in unsavory places.
And so did 3 of the football
players.
You are the best role model what are
you talking about
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    • Ah the sweet savory feeling of chemical warfare
      Epidemy 17 may
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    • Bitches be straight trippin dawg, got what they deserved.
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    • So they touched the door handles, gave the dudes handjobs, then inserted the ivy covered dicks into themselves... that’s fucking awesome
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    • it’s funny because you wonder why nobody likes you yet you do shit like this
      Hooooman 17 may
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    • In HS this girl was being a bitch to my GF, so one day I took her backpack when she wasn’t looking a threw it in the dumpster out back and they never found it. Apparently she lost a bunch of important shit in there, but fuck it.
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    • One of those girls doesn't have game. That, or she wants to save herself which is perfectly normal and a good thing to do.
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    • Man I sure do love breaking the Geneva convention
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    • Because I believe a reddit user had the balls to go up to someone’s car in school parking lot in broad daylight and start rubbing plants on someone’s car
      PandZa313 17 may
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    • Poison ivy doesn’t spread by contact with a persons rash. If you want to make up a story just to be funny, fine by me. Just make it plausible, and at least make it funny.
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    • Haha get it? Popular girls and football players bad, lol!
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    • Cheerleader bodycounts in highschool are typically higher than the number of words in their vocabulary
      HortIer 17 may
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    • LewdLust 17 may
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    • I promise you no one on earth is thinking to themselves "tumblr user prettyinpinkperp is a good role model"
      Hansha 17 may
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    • nbabaloon 23 may
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    • Then the rash clapped
      APComet 21 may
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    • Wouldn't it be funny if this actually happened?
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    • This happened, I was the passenger side rear door handle
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    • these dudes straight up rubbing their dicks on that car? fake and gay
      80HD 18 may
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    • So there were 4 girls and 3 guys. So either one guy got EXTREMELY lucky or one of the broads didn’t 😆
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    • r/thathappened (Also, that’s not how poison ivy works)
      Hdjshsk 17 may
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    • Guys this isn't that unbelievable it's just rubbing a plant on a car
      CIive 17 may
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    • I hate the whiny emos that think this is a good thing to do. “I didn’t like them so I broke in their car and rubbed a poisonous plant all over it haha” y’all suck ass.
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    • Lol imagine waking up with all that poison ivy after not touching any plants. You’d think you had the craziest STD.
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    • Jocks : "It's covered in rashes but my dick hard."
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    • Would have been funnier if it was 5 football players and 3 girls
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    • Bitch just mad she ain’t getting dick
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    • 6 birds with 1 stone.
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    • yo isn’t today minecraft’s birthday?
      kaikster 17 may
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    • Cheer leader hoes masterbating, jerking the football douches, and fucking them. That not real cheerleaders they're feel good girls
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    • Well for one, didn't happen. Two, if it did we have no idea what this guy hated these women for. He could be legitimate or he could be an incel.
      Volition 17 may
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    • Not a good role model, even in a funny way. Just a pathetic loser
      Jesum 17 may
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    • “and so did 3 of the football players” yeah sure, like every time there’s a mean girl there’s always the big dumb jocks attached to them. I swear outcasts literally think high school is like the 80s movies
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    • Yeah the whole story is faker than my ex wife’s tits. That’s not how it works. And also poison ivy becomes a rash about 4 hours after contact. So they didn’t all go to the mall and then all go fuck 3 guys with out anyone fucking noticing it and feeling it
      btash96 17 may
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    • I'll take "shit that didn't happen" for 400, Alex.
      donotdie 17 may
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    • That's what they get for hoeing around in a car
      SunPraise 23 may
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    • I would do this if there weren't so many druggies always watching in the parking lot
      pinkurple 23 may
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    • So did they have a sex fest on the car or what? And which lucky player got 2 chicks at once?
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    • He isn't a good role model he's a GREAT role model
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    • It’d be cooler if it was one girl and the three football players with rashes.
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    • Then all the poison ivy leaves clapped
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    • Look I’m okay with a fake story if it’s like actually funny/witty, but this is just a shitty “nerd gets revenge on the popular kids” fanfic. Its painfully obvious that this is just a wish fulfillment story, “if you ever think I’m a role model”, yeah I’m sure you’re frequently called a role model.
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    • I smell a salty nerd who’s making up stories so he can make himself seem cool on tumblr of all places
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    • oh yeah the classic thots fucking football players. that’s odd, they all fucked 3 guys on the same day they happened to carpool? and the same day u sabotaged their car? hmmm seems fishy
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    • And then the whole school clapped
      Futabae 17 may
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    • So I should poison people I don't like? Got it.
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    • Straight up god tier shit. Somewhere, loki has a good laugh
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    • Hah. Thats not poison ivy, its herpes.
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    • That means one didn’t get smashed
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    • The fucked up thing about this is that as a girl i feel like she only hated these girls cause they were pretty or popular. I need more context to understand why she did that. Did these girls bully her or some shit?
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    • Never trust the restrooms at State parks and trailhead areas. Learned that the hard way myself. And yes, the ENTIRETY of my ass pretty much.
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    • If my math is correct, either one of those gkrls wasnt down or one of those guys got very lucky
      tclay1970 20 may
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    • One of them didn’t get laid
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    • Sexually transmitted ivy poisoning
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    • theGearo 18 may
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    • Well I got bullied by this guy sophomore since my fresh year until my junior year his senior I heard he had a knife and brought it to school to show it off I left a note saying I saw blank swinging it in the bathroom school did a mini lock down early that day took him and didn’t get bullied anymore
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    • Also two male teachers called in sick because of a rash
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    • When you kill 6 birds with one stone
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    • It’s funny because tumblr is full of fags
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    • Bitches get itches
      not_a_cop 17 may
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    • Why is every single post on tumblr a lie? You would think at least a couple would be true
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    • Haha that's a good one I did the same thing but with anthrax
      al_vore 17 may
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    • While this is total bullshit. Why are women so fucking sadistic. A guy would just tell another guy to go fuck himself and maybe try to fight
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    • Well since the oil of poison ivy evaporates once it hits air I doubt thats true and that those preppy bitches were just having a big fuck fest and someone in the fuck fest had an std
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    • I’ll take shit that never happened for 500
      fjrkdjfnd 17 may
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    • Actually the oil inside posion ivy becomes harmless after touching air for a few seconds, so youre literally lying
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    • person unjustly harms someone they “don’t like” and is praised for it by Tumblr
      Griesyboy 17 may
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    • Poison ivy isn’t contagious. Unless if the guys were in the car, there’s no way they could’ve contracted symptoms by simply having intercourse with an affected individual
      Imbecile 17 may
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    • If I was in that situation, I’d put tons of laxatives in her drink so she’d have the equivalent of Hiroshima in her pants. But hey, guerilla warfare of any kind is good.
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    • Why kill one bird with one stone where you can kill 7 with a fucking brick
      Mad__Jack 17 may
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    • I accidentally did this with some itching powder from hot topic. Everyone didn’t believe it was going to be itchy. Everyone who tried it out broke out in rashes lol
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    • Kek_900 22 may
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    • Wait... so. Poison ivy usually takes about 5 minutes to really kick in. They must have really hated those football players.
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    • Tumblr needs to understand if you are going to make up a story at least have it be funny/entertaining
      FriedTaco 18 may
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    • The amount of petty I aspire to be. I can’t even get poison ivy so this is perfect for me to do.
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    • Yeah let’s just harm people we don’t like because we don’t like them.
      Dabigbtk 18 may
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    • I keyed a girls car because she spit in my hair
      TehLiv 18 may
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    • and then everyone clapped and she got head from the basketball team
      _not_cody 17 may
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    • This happened to me. It's how I found out I'm not allergic to poison ivy lol
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    • What we're all missing here is one of the football players had a threeway if the math serves us correctly
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    • They didn't even DO anything she just didn't like em
      Koro 17 may
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    • Grind poison ivy into a fine powder and fill up an empty eggshell with it and throw it at a group of your enemies
      Knobbins 17 may
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    • Has it ever occurred to these people that they may be the bad person? Like rubbing poison ivy all over someone who probably doesn’t even know you exist’s car seems like a pretty bitchy thing to do.
      Xtensions 17 may
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    • I don’t believe this, but if it’s true, that’s battery.
      Nefriti 17 may
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    • Thats a really healthy alternative to shooting up the school
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    • Sounds like a band kid day dreamed this one up
      Fukubic 17 may
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    • As someone who’s horribly allergic to poison ivy, that’s not how it works. You can’t spread it to other people. They have to touch the plant or it’s oil.
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