Me: *hits my elbow on desk*
My entire nervous system:
asmordusu asmordusu
8 dec 2020
Me: *hits my elbow on desk* My entire nervous system:
Can't wait to be a father so I can randomly walk into my sons room and look at him like this
PiedPiper815 PiedPiper815
27 may
Can't wait to be a father so I can randomly walk into my sons room and look at him like this
Grandson Grandson
16 sep 2020
Reply chezablonclebiteh's comment What do u reckon it's gonna be like to kiss a girl x
A mind is like a parachute, it doesn't work unless it's open.
- Frank Zappa
A mind is like a parachute, it doesn't work unless it's open. - Frank Zappa
When the hospital bills are expensive, but so are funerals.
You won't let me live: You Won't let me die.
Beunique
3 jun
When the hospital bills are expensive, but so are funerals. You won't let me live: You Won't let me die.
If Pompeii happened today
N3dStark N3dStark
25 sep 2020
If Pompeii happened today
Army Doctor: Okay, just do this
short obstacle course for me
1960s soldier who's just been dosed with 5000 hits of acid:
Lay
SlanderAndCalumny SlanderAndCalumny
5 dec 2020
Army Doctor: Okay, just do this short obstacle course for me 1960s soldier who's just been dosed with 5000 hits of acid: Lay
The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force.
don't have such weaknesses
LordRevan LordRevan
26 sep 2020
The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force. don't have such weaknesses
likeafieldmouse-deactivated2015
sneauxflake
getting ready to joust at hole depot
sneauxflake
home depot* jesus christ
THE HOLE DEPOT
havesomefaithinme
Black Friday shopping
likeafieldmouse-deactivated2015 sneauxflake getting ready to joust at hole depot sneauxflake home depot* jesus christ THE HOLE DEPOT havesomefaithinme Black Friday shopping
Just bought this cat from PetSmart and I ain't
1eard him meow since we left the store, maybe he speak Spanish idk lol
MisterDadGuy MisterDadGuy
12 aug 2020
Just bought this cat from PetSmart and I ain't 1eard him meow since we left the store, maybe he speak Spanish idk lol
WHAT IT WOULD LOOK LIKE...
IF YOU COULD SEE DOG FARTS
mcheller mcheller
23 sep 2020
WHAT IT WOULD LOOK LIKE... IF YOU COULD SEE DOG FARTS
gucci gang
avery idiotic song sang by a rainbow mop with aluminum foil stuck to his teeth
Youre goddamn right.
fame fame
24 sep 2020
gucci gang avery idiotic song sang by a rainbow mop with aluminum foil stuck to his teeth Youre goddamn right.
2002 you're at a family reunion hiding out in nanna's basement playing donkey Kong on your and the "cool aunt" sneaks you your first drink
MemedealerSasuke MemedealerSasuke
16 oct 2020
2002 you're at a family reunion hiding out in nanna's basement playing donkey Kong on your and the "cool aunt" sneaks you your first drink
Me: Is about to leave a bench
Person: *Sits next to me*
Me waiting a few extra minutes before leaving so I don't hurt the persons feelings:
AgeekableGirl97 AgeekableGirl97
5 mar
Me: Is about to leave a bench Person: *Sits next to me* Me waiting a few extra minutes before leaving so I don't hurt the persons feelings:
Bread maker: I've baked you're bread sir
Genius who's about to invent toast:
do it again
Spiders Spiders
4 dec 2020
Bread maker: I've baked you're bread sir Genius who's about to invent toast: do it again
Happy Easter!
Happy Easter!
You have stumbled across a sleepin doggo.
Take a break, get a drink, make some food. - You have stumbled across a sleepin doggo. Take a break, get a drink, make some food.
You have stumbled across a sleepin doggo. Take a break, get a drink, make some food. - You have stumbled across a sleepin doggo. Take a break, get a drink, make some food.