• {{ formattedCount }}  {{ count > 1 ? 'comments' : 'comment' }}

    • Garlic doesn’t exist
      861 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
      • Peepee man
        406 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
        Show
        • It actually started because garlic makes your blood unpalatable. Repels mosquitos, fleas, and ticks.
          15 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
          Show
          • "ITALIAN VAMPIRES" lol ayy bada bing bada boom lemme suck your blood ya mook
            8 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
            Show
            • I’m Italian, it’d be an honor to be along side pasta
              7 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
              Show
              • It's actually Gaelic that vampires are susceptible to. An unfortunate spelling error led to the belief we have today, and the Scottish unaware of their own blissful immunity.
                7 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                Show
                • Foodporn here
                  6 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                  Show
                  • Fun fact: If you rub garlic on your nipples every night before bed, your wife will probably leave you
                    iNib 9 feb
                    6 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                    Show
                    • Jokes on them I eat a whole pound of silver everyday
                      6 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                      Show
                      • KatRS 10 feb
                        4 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                        Show
                        • I would not mind lying naked in a bathtub full of pasta
                          4 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                          Show
                          • Garlic hurts gastrointestinal parasites, so that's why it hurts vampires. They're glorified tapeworms.
                            4 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                            Show
                            • Both garlic and silver are antimicrobial. That’s why the hurt vampires 🧛‍♂️.
                              4 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                              Show
                              • It’s because vampires have much stronger senses so the overwhelming scent of garlic is supposed to be way stronger to them
                                4 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                Show
                                • Hey can I get tc to support waddlegolfer69 on YouTube? Thanks!
                                  4 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                  Show
                                  • Never seen Where We Hide In The Shadows? You're basically beef. Pork. Your tiddies are chicken tiddies to them. And they want virgins because I quote,"Would you eat a ham sandwich knowing someone fucked your ham?"
                                    3 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                    Show
                                    • Garlic wasnt aupposed to be eaten, its supposed to be strung up
                                      3 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                      Show
                                      • 3 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                        Show
                                        • But humans don't eat the garlic to keep vampires away, they just wear it around their neck
                                          TNTNuke 9 feb
                                          3 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                          Show
                                          • Today is my birthday ... please freaking wish me hbd.
                                            3 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                            Show
                                            • In elder scrolls lore one of the first vampires were allergic to garlic and that spread a myth that all vampires are weakened by garlic
                                              3 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                              Show
                                              • You dont eat garlic you just keep garlic around
                                                3 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                Show
                                                • my grandfather can’t be in the sun because he has skin cancer, and he hates garlic. I used to think he was a vampire when I was about 5-6.
                                                  3 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                  Show
                                                  • Poopoo man
                                                    3 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                    Show
                                                    • The myth of garlic warding off vampires comes from the fact that eating garlic will ward off mosquitoes
                                                      jrygame 14 feb
                                                      2 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                      Show
                                                      • I dont want to be served without pasta
                                                        soulking 11 feb
                                                        2 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                        Show
                                                        • What kinda shower post is this like you're in the shower and be like "huh I just realized that garlic is an anticoagulant"
                                                          2 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                          Show
                                                          • Imagine being such a psychopath that you use a light theme instead of a dark one
                                                            tlprice3 9 feb
                                                            2 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                            Show
                                                            • Me eats an ungodly amount sugar to give them diabetes
                                                              2 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                              Show
                                                              • In the original version of Dracula, it wasn't garlic cloves, it was garlic flowers and you never ate them, you just put wreath around your neck then loads by the window and door.
                                                                2 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                Show
                                                                • I would be honored to be served with pasta. I love pasta
                                                                  2 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                  Show
                                                                  • You're supposed to hang garlic above your doors and windows
                                                                    Robbit 9 feb
                                                                    2 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                    Show
                                                                    • Eat no seasoning for British vampires
                                                                      2 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                      Show
                                                                      • One time my dad tested to see if garlic would prevent mosquitos from biting you by putting garlic in every meal for 2 months. During those two months I never got bit by a mosquito (in the summer in Florida) and I accidentally stepped in a fire ant hill and didn’t get bit but was scared shitless.
                                                                        Clark_ 9 feb
                                                                        3 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                        Show
                                                                        • Honestly if someone eats me and doesn’t serve me with pasta I’m coming back from the grave and strangling them with some angel hair
                                                                          2 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                          Show
                                                                          • The superstition comes from how it is more difficult for blood sucking insects to find us. However this doesn't apply to leeches.
                                                                            2 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                            Show
                                                                            • Didn't use dark mode
                                                                              2 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                              Show
                                                                              • I'll take the red sauce
                                                                                2 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                                Show
                                                                                • Garlic is not an anticoagulant
                                                                                  2 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                                  Show
                                                                                  • Naughty 9 feb
                                                                                    2 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                                    Show
                                                                                    • Naughty 9 feb
                                                                                      2 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                                      Show
                                                                                      • Stallin 9 feb
                                                                                        2 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                                        Show
                                                                                        • I vant to make a da meataball!
                                                                                          2 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                                          Show
                                                                                          • 3 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                                            Show
                                                                                            • Garlic makes the blood taste less sweet
                                                                                              Kaiiak 14 feb
                                                                                              1 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                                              Show
                                                                                              • Lmao
                                                                                                FordJM 13 feb
                                                                                                1 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                                                Show
                                                                                                • What if this was used by the vampires to leave people unprotected though
                                                                                                  1 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                                                  Show
                                                                                                  • Silly kids, garlic was venerated by ancient civilizations for being believed to never die. It is directly the opposite of what vampires are believed to be, (i.e. undead). Vampires can never "live", being dead for eternity etc, so something that can never die (garlic) would be an obvious threat.
                                                                                                    whirr1987 11 feb
                                                                                                    2 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                                                    Show
                                                                                                    • You are the pasta
                                                                                                      1 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                                                      Show
                                                                                                      • Not gonna lie chief cant resist garlic bread
                                                                                                        1 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                                                        Show
                                                                                                        • Nah we would bleed more effectively but then their blood would thin out and no longer congeal as well causing them to bloat
                                                                                                          1 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                                                          Show
                                                                                                          • I would be honored to be served with pasta
                                                                                                            1 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                                                            Show
                                                                                                            • Makes sense because garlic is know to help with blood circulation
                                                                                                              Jaydizzel 10 feb
                                                                                                              1 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                                                              Show
                                                                                                              • I don’t want to be a pie!
                                                                                                                1 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                                                                Show
                                                                                                                • Vore is my fetish
                                                                                                                  2 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                                                                  Show
                                                                                                                  • Shit cook with me some garlic and a little white wine sauce id be banging
                                                                                                                    Poker454 9 feb
                                                                                                                    1 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                                                                    Show
                                                                                                                    • Or maybe this is false propaganda to get us to drop our guard!
                                                                                                                      1 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                                                                      Show
                                                                                                                      • I’m fine with being served with pasta just don’t over cook that shit. Don’t disgrace me like that
                                                                                                                        DuskGod 9 feb
                                                                                                                        1 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                                                                        Show
                                                                                                                        • I've never seen people eat tons of garlic in old vampire movies and shows. They usually just keep some around or wear necklaces of it
                                                                                                                          1 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                                                                          Show
                                                                                                                          • Actually if you dumbasses would actually read Dracula you would know it’s the fragrance of the FLOWERS not eating the bulb of garlic that stops vampires
                                                                                                                            1 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                                                                            Show
                                                                                                                            • Thanks for my 2nd feature guys!!!
                                                                                                                              1 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                                                                              Show
                                                                                                                              • “Italian vampires”Ayyyy Draculo
                                                                                                                                1 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                                                                                Show
                                                                                                                                • Fish can be picky with their food, so fish food is often made with garlic because they love it and it's also healthy for them!
                                                                                                                                  Fishbone 9 feb
                                                                                                                                  1 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                                                                                  Show
                                                                                                                                  • Italians don’t eat garlic
                                                                                                                                    1 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                                                                                    Show
                                                                                                                                    • There are a number of things wrong with this, first off, you don’t eat the garlic just have it, second off PUMPKINS ward off vampires better and have so for years, hence the Halloween decoration
                                                                                                                                      ETank117 9 feb
                                                                                                                                      1 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                                                                                      Show
                                                                                                                                      • No one says eat it, they say wave it at them, the fear of a vampire losing its own blood is what drives it away
                                                                                                                                        1 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                                                                                        Show
                                                                                                                                        • Tf is wrong with pasta?
                                                                                                                                          1 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                                                                                          Show
                                                                                                                                          • I do
                                                                                                                                            Funsi 9 feb
                                                                                                                                            1 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                                                                                            Show
                                                                                                                                            • Fuck that shit, grind me up and slurp me down! If ima die then pasta is where I want to go!
                                                                                                                                              1 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                                                                                              Show
                                                                                                                                              • Gimme the marinara
                                                                                                                                                SR33666 9 feb
                                                                                                                                                1 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                                                                                                Show
                                                                                                                                                • As a vampire I can confirm that garlic doesn't do anything to vampires.
                                                                                                                                                  1 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                                                                                                  Show
                                                                                                                                                  • Or is this a vampire conspiracy so we stop using garlic....
                                                                                                                                                    Monarch 9 feb
                                                                                                                                                    1 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                                                                                                    Show
                                                                                                                                                    • Ain’t nobody got time to read
                                                                                                                                                      1 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                                                                                                      Show
                                                                                                                                                      • Wario must have fucking thin blood
                                                                                                                                                        1 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                                                                                                        Show
                                                                                                                                                        • Why are vampires all European? Because the rains were blessed down in Africa.
                                                                                                                                                          Shfin 9 feb
                                                                                                                                                          1 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                                                                                                          Show
                                                                                                                                                          • Garlic is just spicy onions...
                                                                                                                                                            1 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                                                                                                            Show
                                                                                                                                                            • I can imagine the bottom one being said by an old lady "running away" or dragging her feet and pushing he walker.
                                                                                                                                                              1 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                                                                                                              Show
                                                                                                                                                              • You cant be a vampire if you're Italian. Too man crosses and sunlight and have you ever met an italian who doesn't look at himself in the mirror
                                                                                                                                                                1 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                                                                                                                Show
                                                                                                                                                                • I thought it was because they mistook mosquito bites as vampire bites and when they used garlic the bites would stop because mosquitos hate garlic
                                                                                                                                                                  1 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                                                                                                                  Show
                                                                                                                                                                  • But garlic is super tasty...
                                                                                                                                                                    1 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                                                                                                                    Show
                                                                                                                                                                    • Naughty 9 feb
                                                                                                                                                                      1 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                                                                                                                      Show
                                                                                                                                                                      • Actually, the garlic thing comes from a disease that is thought to be the source of the vampire myth. The disease makes one pale, sensitive to sunlight, and allergic to garlic, among other things iirc
                                                                                                                                                                        1 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                                                                                                                        Show
                                                                                                                                                                        • content not available more
                                                                                                                                                                          Naughty 9 feb
                                                                                                                                                                          1 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                                                                                                                          Show
                                                                                                                                                                          • Naughty 9 feb
                                                                                                                                                                            1 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                                                                                                                            Show
                                                                                                                                                                            • Naughty 9 feb
                                                                                                                                                                              1 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                                                                                                                              Show
                                                                                                                                                                              • Gravy 🚂
                                                                                                                                                                                Naughty 9 feb
                                                                                                                                                                                1 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                                                                                                                                Show
                                                                                                                                                                                • Pizza time
                                                                                                                                                                                  1 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                                                                                                                                  Show
                                                                                                                                                                                  • Vampires are Transylvanian so..?
                                                                                                                                                                                    kdudz14 12 feb
                                                                                                                                                                                    1 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                                                                                                                                    Show
                                                                                                                                                                                    • Yo am I the only Italian that knows how to cook? You never put garlic in your food as an Italian. And if you do it’s only the clover which you then remove later
                                                                                                                                                                                      1 {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                                                                                                                                      Show
                                                                                                                                                                                      • LOL you're not being served with pasta you're being served over pasta
                                                                                                                                                                                        Show
                                                                                                                                                                                        • An anti-coagulant? So, like a blood thinner?
                                                                                                                                                                                          ItsNutt 9 feb
                                                                                                                                                                                          {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                                                                                                                                          Show
                                                                                                                                                                                          • Did yall not even watch hotel transelvania 3 it just gives them a tummy ache
                                                                                                                                                                                            {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                                                                                                                                            Show
                                                                                                                                                                                            • Show
                                                                                                                                                                                              • Or vampires get garlic poisoning and bleed to death.
                                                                                                                                                                                                {{ shortRepliesCount }}
                                                                                                                                                                                                Show
                                                                                                                                                                                                  • Hentai is better than porn
                                                                                                                                                                                                    Show
                                                                                                                                                                                                    • Pasta and My-balls
                                                                                                                                                                                                      LuLx 13 feb
                                                                                                                                                                                                      Show
                                                                                                                                                                                                      • Oh i do
                                                                                                                                                                                                        Show
                                                                                                                                                                                                        • garlics fuckin disgusting
                                                                                                                                                                                                          Show
                                                                                                                                                                                                          • I don’t want to be a pie!
                                                                                                                                                                                                            Show

                                                                                                                                                                                                          iFunny plug-in will teach your phone to smile

                                                                                                                                                                                                          get on the iFunny app to roast them

                                                                                                                                                                                                          All content related issues will be solved right here.
                                                                                                                                                                                                          After all necessary information is provided, of course:

                                                                                                                                                                                                          Complete the form below to notify iFunny of a claim relating to your intellectual property rights and content or some technical inconvenience with the service.
                                                                                                                                                                                                          (Positive and productive feedback is appreciated as well).

                                                                                                                                                                                                          Your details

                                                                                                                                                                                                          Your relationships to the rights holder

                                                                                                                                                                                                          Type of claim

                                                                                                                                                                                                          Select
                                                                                                                                                                                                          Copyright Trademark Nazi-related Offensive Technical difficulties Other
                                                                                                                                                                                                          Describe the issue in detail. Please be specific.
                                                                                                                                                                                                          Feeling poetic today? Feel free to provide more information
                                                                                                                                                                                                          By clicking on "Submit" below, you are certifying the following statements:
                                                                                                                                                                                                          • I state that I have a good faith belief that use of the work(s) in the manner complained of is not authorized by the copyright owner, its agent, or the law.
                                                                                                                                                                                                          • I state that the information in this notification is accurate and, under penalty of perjury, that I am the owner of the exclusive right that is allegedly infringed, or an authorized agent for the owner.
                                                                                                                                                                                                          • I give my permission to pass my contact information to the alleged infringing party.