• starlit-notes:
I would like to thank my arms,
for always being by side. My
legs, for always supporting me,
and my fingers...because I can
always count on them.
this will be my speech when i win
an oscar
Don't forget the hips, for not lying.
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  • 315 comments

    • This bros arm ain't by his side anymore.
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    • Don't forget to thank your eyes for always showing you the way
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    • The neck for sticking out, the shoulders for having a good head on them, the feet for taking a stand
      TheCrow 5 aug
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    • I would like to thank this dummy thicc ass for always providing the cake
      316 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Sidewalks for keeping me out of the streets
      239 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • But don’t thank your right hand. It’s always fucking you
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    • Don’t forget my cholesterol, for always being high
      chopstew 5 aug
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    • The hips addition was a swing and a miss compared to the other ones
      109 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • I’d like to thank my cock for always sticking up for me
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    • First of all, the final punchline wasn't that funny. Second, thanks for highlighting it or i may have just missed an entire line of text
      24 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • My cock for being fucking useless
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    • And the sidewalks for always keeping me of the streets
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    • Your Penis. Helping you get threw the hard times
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    • 8 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • And your eyes for looking back at your progression
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    • Boat_Man 5 aug
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    • Highlighted comment is retarded
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    • 3 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Tomio 5 aug
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    • And for my neck, for always keeping my head on my shoulders
      Jozi_ 7 aug
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    • content not available more
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    • I'd like to thank my penis for the privilege and confidence
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    • Sh, no one cares
      ZMG_ 6 aug
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    • 2 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • catch these hands. yw
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    • 1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • And my asshole for always talking shit
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    • Them hips do be kinda truthful doe
      IonKanun 6 aug
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    • This made me exhale from my nose
      1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Fuck I’m glad it was highlighted I would’ve never seen it
      1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Break a leg
      Fritzor 5 aug
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    • 1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • content not available more
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    • Thank god it was highlighted...
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    • why was the worst one highlighted
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    • They always forget someone lol
      DeMortis 8 aug
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    • Your mom must be so happy
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    • Dumb
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    • My hands are fucking wankers that’s why I’m not thanking them
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    • The sidewalk for keeping you off the street
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    • You see, it was alright until the end. Always someone to ruin a chain
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    • The spine for keeping you up when you feel down
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    • My neck, for always helping me keep my head up when times are hard. And last but not least, my anus, for helping me to let go of all the shit I have to deal with.
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    • And my dummy thicc ass, for never quitting
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    • Shout out to sidewalks for keeping me off the streets
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    • my graduation speech
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    • They're not Shakira so I don't believe their hips are truthful.
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    • These eyes to help me see my future
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    • Way to ruin it, dumb shit.
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    • content not available more
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    • Got them truthful hips.
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    • If I actually won an oscar, I'd kind of want to be the person who actually says this on stage and then sends out thank you baskets with letters and oscar cookies to the people I actually want to thank.
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    • And someone already said that shit
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    • He he
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    • I thank my dick for letting me pee
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    • Lovely
      Joe175 7 aug
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    • And my torso for always having my back
      PapiPipe 7 aug
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    • And my nuts for always being fucking gargantuan
      Rylan 7 aug
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    • Don't forget to thank your hair for having your back
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    • And my ass for taking all my shit
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    • And my posterior neck muscles for keeping my head high
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    • and my balls for storing my pee
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    • And dez nuts. For always hangin around.
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    • Me in a wheelchair and two hip replacements later ... 👁👄👁
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    • and my tongue for being buried in your moms butthole
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    • Love this
      monlucyy 7 aug
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    • Yess
      monlucyy 7 aug
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    • Unfortunately her hips did lie
      FBImeme 7 aug
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    • Don't forget my nose for always leading me to good food.
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    • Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • My neck for always keeping my chin up
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    • And the floor because without it we would not be standing here right now
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    • they highlighted the unfunny part of the joke.
      RedDirt 7 aug
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    • The sidewalks, for keeping me off the streets
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • And my ass cheeks for being together even through all the shit
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • And your spine, for always having your back
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • And my brain for having a mental disorder
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • I never really knew that she could dance like this
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    • My syndrome may be down, but my hopes are up
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • I would like to thank my fists for thier strength in overcoming the adversities of life without inflicting harm in others and for the rubbing my dick.
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    • Bold of you to assume a tumblr tard could win an Oscar
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • But the hips part doesn't make sense. Dummy is just playing word association
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • And my right arm for...nvm
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    • I’d like to thank the sidewalks for keeping me off the streets, and the elevators for bringing me up when I’m down
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • ok that was smooth as fuck
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    • I want Shakira to sit on my face 🤤
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    • My spearheaded for the Rasies
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    • Oh yeah, when you the 300 pound room temperature iq tumblretard win an Oscar.
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • But cheeks for sticking together after all you shit you been through
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    • Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • I’d like to thank my balls for always aching
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    • Your vagina for somthing or rather
      goofest 6 aug
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    • For being by side. That is bugging the crap out of me that it doesn't say "For being by my side"
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • I'd like to thank my penis, for always being there when things get hard
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Disowning my spine for always holding me Back.
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • I'd like to thank the sidewalk for keeping me off the streets
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    • Thanks for the highlight. Definitely wouldn’t have seen it
      Pengwii 6 aug
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    • This will be my senior quote... Except I will say my legs... (Except one year) because I had external fixators
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    • And your milkshake for bringing all the boys to the yard. Bazinga!
      phyber 6 aug
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