Friend: Are you a dog person or a cat person?
Me: I'm a Calot person.
Friend: A what?
Me:
Warlord_Of_Mars Warlord_Of_Mars
23 sep 2020
Friend: Are you a dog person or a cat person? Me: I'm a Calot person. Friend: A what? Me:
me sliding the straw in and
out of a McDonald's cup
SarahWhyTho SarahWhyTho
3 mar
me sliding the straw in and out of a McDonald's cup
Don't have anything too funny so here is my dog Waylon - Don't have anything too funny so here is my dog Waylon
ryan_gosling ryan_gosling
21 sep 2020
Don't have anything too funny so here is my dog Waylon - Don't have anything too funny so here is my dog Waylon
Nevada: Morgue Employee arrested for pimping out corpses for sex
Nickel Savers CFollow
Las Vegas, Nevada I A morgue employee from the City of Sins was arrested this morning, for letting visitors have sex with the bodies under his care in exchange for money.
snailtrailz snailtrailz
17 mar
Nevada: Morgue Employee arrested for pimping out corpses for sex Nickel Savers CFollow Las Vegas, Nevada I A morgue employee from the City of Sins was arrested this morning, for letting visitors have sex with the bodies under his care in exchange for money.
Just a little cutie passing through to cleanse your feed. Carry on - Just a little cutie passing through to cleanse your feed. Carry on
QueenSpook QueenSpook
21 sep 2020
Just a little cutie passing through to cleanse your feed. Carry on - Just a little cutie passing through to cleanse your feed. Carry on
Me stuck behind an asshole at the gas station buying $23 of different lottery tickets
StirringThePot StirringThePot
12 mar
Me stuck behind an asshole at the gas station buying $23 of different lottery tickets
Th''s Glock Finna Give You A Clue
shitmemesfordays shitmemesfordays
22 jan 2021
Th''s Glock Finna Give You A Clue
What my bf imagines I look like working from home
Reality:
abnormalSpillednut abnormalSpillednut
12 jan 2021
What my bf imagines I look like working from home Reality:
When someone gets loud with you and you thinking about unleashing every single one of your inner demons
rbob1 rbob1
28 dec 2020
When someone gets loud with you and you thinking about unleashing every single one of your inner demons
Thinking about how in 24 hours there will be inescapable civil unrest
WetMuffin WetMuffin
3 nov 2020
Thinking about how in 24 hours there will be inescapable civil unrest
Kids next year after being homeschooled.
"but my momma said"
Scorpion7YT Scorpion7YT
30 nov 2020
Kids next year after being homeschooled. "but my momma said"
Him: "II can bench 420 and squat
600, dafug you gunna do?"
Me:
Maybelater Maybelater
2 mar
Him: "II can bench 420 and squat 600, dafug you gunna do?" Me:
Raise your hand if you're
seriously impressed you're still alive
bigirish66 bigirish66
3 jun
Raise your hand if you're seriously impressed you're still alive
hen you ask whos a good girl but she just keeps
choking on ur dick
All right, then. Keepfyour secrets.
hen you ask whos a good girl but she just keeps choking on ur dick All right, then. Keepfyour secrets.
joemamama joemamama
15 sep 2020
y dog saw a squirrel when my back as turned...
woes anyone else gets annoyea when your girlfriend keeps taking pictures of you?
woes anyone else gets annoyea when your girlfriend keeps taking pictures of you?
1. How does Harry Potter get rid of a rash?
With quit-itch.
2. How many Slytherins does it take to stir a cauldron?
Just one. She puts her wand in and the cauldron revolves around her.
awareWarthunder awareWarthunder
23 jun
1. How does Harry Potter get rid of a rash? With quit-itch. 2. How many Slytherins does it take to stir a cauldron? Just one. She puts her wand in and the cauldron revolves around her.