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    • Oh so that’s why waluigi isn’t in smash
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    • “I ain’t touching that shit” -God and Satan when they see Mario
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    • To mario:
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    • So every game is an adventure in purgatory
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    • So this confirms MatPat's theories about Mario being a psychopath, and I think this is the reason why he went mad. Not only because of the fact that he constantly takes mushrooms, and the fact that the love of his life is constantly being kidnapped, but also, he just wants to die, and end the cycle.
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    • Heaven won’t accept his murderous soul and Hell is too full from all the gombas and koopas he killed!
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    • Because he does save the world, but he kills thousands of innocent enemies
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    • Okay, so I read the article, and it actually makes sense how Mario can't get into heaven due to all of the koopas and goombas he killed, but can't go to hell due to rescuing Princess Peach all the time. It gets even more interesting when you think that the same formula technically works with others.
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    • “Wahoo”-Mario “Oh hell not this guy again, listen you slaughtered half a kingdom. You’re not allowed in heaven”-God “Well I’m not taking him”-Satan
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    • And with boiling blood he scoured the Umbral Plains seeking vengeance against the dark lords who had wronged him.
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    • Yo Nintendo... what the fuck?
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    • So the Super Mario universe is purgatory?
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    • Mario: goes to hell. Devil: ugh you, go talk to god. Mario:goes to heaven. God: bitch I told you to stay out now go back to hell. Mario: confused screaming.
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    • Meliodas?
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    • What about purgatory.
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    • With a smile on his face
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    • But then wouldn’t he be stuck in purgatory?
      Guhts 16d
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    • Nah hes high on shrooms so life and death mean nothing
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    • So basically
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    • So, he's Doomslayer?
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    • No, he actually doesn’t have a soul. He says it’s “a” me because he is one of many. When he dies another Takes his place. Coins go to funding another Mario’s creation, 1-ups are hallucinogenic drugs each worth 100 coins.
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    • Princess peach has a cloning machine in her castle and bowser kidnaps her to stop the cloning, but Mario’s clones defeat him in the end. This is also backed up by super Mario maker of how you can play as 100 different marios. She was building an army to take over the land to which she could rule.
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    • That's basically the story of Lobo. He has immortality because neither heaven nor hell wants him
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    • When they see Mario's soul
      Xacto 19d
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    • UHHHHHH I THINK YOU MEAN TGE UNDERWHERE AND OVERTHERE!!! SUPER PAPER MARIO MUCH!
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    • I legit just saw this in the comment section a few memes back (and nobody cares)
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    • Life to Mario - "You could not live with your own failure. Where did that bring you? Back to me."
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    • God and Satan be like,"That bitch could fucking murder me,i aint up for that shit."
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    • purgatory.
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    • Imagine getting to hell and Satan asks to see the manager because someone fucked up his order
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    • Just gonna crop put the onion huh
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    • It's an article from the onion
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    • God can not save me, hell can not take me.
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    • He has truly become too powerful
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    • So he’s like Lobo from DC
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    • He always has those 1-Up Mushrooms in his pocket, making him able to escape both at any time
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    • It’s because he commits Mass Genocide but it’s a good cause
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    • Hey, sounds a lot like when Lobo was kicked out of heaven (for obvious reasons) and hell (because he enjoyed himself so much that Satan was like "Please take him back" to God).
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    • That's literally me, I've been declared legally dead 7 fucking times but somehow I keep coming back! That's why I'm an atheist now so they can't reject me!
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    • He's good but not good enough to be in heaven
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    • In case you were wondering this is an Onion Article
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    • God: Just let him go, he'll find a melon and clip through the world even if we try keeping him.
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    • He deserves respect after saving the same bitch over and over again thinking she'll want him.
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    • God and satan be watchin Game Theory they know what’s good
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    • Bold of you to assume satan or god can stop mario
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    • Mario used the death note
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    • Yeah get that out of here
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    • He did die and go to hell in super paper Mario, along with Luigi and Bowser. Peach got to go to heaven though, so that's cool
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    • Mario goes to hell demons like oh shit it’s the shamen healer goes to even gods like oh shit he kills dragons
      zobie 19d
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    • Would he not be stuck in purgatory then?
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    • Neat!
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    • content not available more
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    • Shhhhhh..
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    • That’s fucking metal
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    • I knew video games took place in purgatory
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    • me too bitch you aint special
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    • Seven Deadly Sins!
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    • That's what happens when you use the death note Mario... You shouldn't have killed all those orphans
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    • Since he’s Italian he’s presumably catholic so wouldn’t he go to purgatory?
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    • Tomio 19d
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    • Wouldn't that just mean he's forever stuck in purgatory?
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    • (Satan and God when they see Mario) "Ah shit, here we go again"
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    • Does Yoshi go to hell because he evaded taxes?
      ireal 19d
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    • Remember when Mario went to hell to save bowser, go to heaven to save peach, and then challenge god?
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    • The most balanced individual
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    • The link is an article, and this is fucking weird. This has to be an April fools joke or something.
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    • First time in hell: *furiously stomping on Satan's head*
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    • Eh, that's believable
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    • Oh he doesn't BLJ out of hell?
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    • Just edit out that The Onion tweeted this that’s cool
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    • Heaven dont want him and hell cant handle him
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    • Sounds like bullshit but I like it
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    • What about purgatory
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    • Then that bitch is in purgatory constantly suffering due to deaths and kdnappings on his loved one
      poopp 16d
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    • He's bad but he's not bad enough to be in hell
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    • when you get a game over they make a comprimise
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    • Tortures Large ape in front of ape's son. Hell. Saves princess. Heaven?
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    • Sounds like the real reason why Sam and Dean Winchester from Supernatural have been resurrected like 5 times each.
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    • Déjà vew I have seen this meme before
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    • Doom Slayer?
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    • Can they just tell us what mario is hiding? They pretty much established that he’s not that pure. We need more lore
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    • False, hell has always had an open door policy.
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    • So Mario is Lobo from DC comica then?
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    • Be sounding like J.K. Rowling up in here
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    • Mario games take place in purgatory
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