• excessivelysesquipedalian
my asshole cat once again comes to me and
does his usual indications for "hey, there's a
problem I need you to fix, please help."
because I love him and he is weirdly smart
and actually really good at figuring out
problems and getting help (like when he lets
me know the bird feeder is empty because
he wants to watch the birds) I trustingly get
up and follow him.
he reaches the window, outside of which
is a thunderstorm. he is very afraid of
thunderstorms, and normally does not go
anywhere near the windows when they
happen. upon reaching the window he
indicates in his usual fashion, "here is the
problem, please fix it."
no idea whether to be flattered and endeared
that my cat thinks I control the weather,
or frustrated because my cat is now mad
at me for refusing to control the weather
on his behalf. this is the second time this
has happened.
Source: excessivelysesquipedalian
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  • 332 comments

    • Well, damn, kitty, I can't control the weather
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    • You better stop that fucking storm
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    • Yep. Many people often discount the intelligence of animals (cats) the truth is that cats are very intelligent they just aren’t obedient unless somethings in it for them.
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    • For those who are TLDR, cat doesnt like thunderstorm and asks owner to turn the thunderstorm off.
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    • You pussies can’t read three fucking paragraphs? No wonder you’re on iFunny and not doing something useful in your life.
      Dizco2 1 jul
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    • This is 6 sentences and some of you still say tldr. Just fucking read it.
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    • My blind cat will do this when she can’t find her toys. I keep them strewn about the house and usually she manages on her own, but if she can’t she continues to meow loudly until I come and throw one at her
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    • Life Hack: if you come across something that has a lot of reading involved just swipe past it without advertising your short attention span with tldr or a similar reaction pic
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    • Thought it was gonna lead off to one of those "he wasn't bringing me to the window because of the storm, but because of the man he saw outside our window looking in"
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    • That is adorable. My cat would yell at me for not helping her down from my loft bed but as soon as I would pick her up she would jump
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    • Do pets really thing they are just chilling with gods
      buttsack 1 jul
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    • CTC_and_DCF this is the part where you figure out how to stop thunderstorms (personally I’d try to find a way to comfort my cat so he was less scared of the loud thunder, like putting on music for him)
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    • Footage 1 jul
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    • Cats hear everything your saying and know exactly what your asking them to do... they just don't give a single fuck about what you want. *Pat's bed, come here, whistles* doesn't even turn her head when she's 2ft away. *shakes treat bag in Narnia* cat opens wardrobe and finds me in 3 seconds flat
      aearly92 1 jul
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    • Didn’t even read the rest. Cats are assholes AND spies for the government
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    • content not available more
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    • I always wondered why pets don’t freak out when we turn lights off and on.
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    • Dark mode meme that’s not about it being dark mode???
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    • Show him a computer with nice weather background in a quiet room/room with music so he dosent hear the thunder thell think its a window
      D_Walsh 1 jul
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    • My cat has to smell you to make sure you smell ok. If you pet her before you get bit if you smell bad you get bit. You get cuddles if you smell like her favorite fruits
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    • I like asshole cats
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    • Well, have you prayed for the storm to end?
      suze1 1 jul
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    • Aww, maybe try closing the blinds, or curtains for him, and just give him love. Or take him to another room and snuggle so that he knows you've done all you can right now! 😳💕
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    • My cats definitely understand commands, they just normally wont listen
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    • Adorable.
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    • Should’ve gone out there and did a ritual to entertain your cat
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    • 2 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • He knows the powers you yet to know you control
      cheydog1 1 jul
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    • /weather false
      faxer43 1 jul
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    • Zental 1 jul
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    • Yeah cats do that
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    • cats are fucking stupid, this didnt happen. they have the minds of housplants
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    • I’ve been working lately so my cat decided to break a glass while I was sleeping a couple days ago, since I haven’t been home
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    • my cats scream at me until i open or close the blinds in my bedroom
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    • Better just get rid of the cat
      Scootch 4 jul
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    • Pretty bold to assume a cat would say pls
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    • MAH HAWRT!
      MlemFox 4 jul
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    • Yes! My cat is weirdly smart like this too! I swear he’s smarting than some people I know
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    • Your cat is trying to tell you that you're the avatar
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    • Cats are trash
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    • Not worth the read.
      DN13 3 jul
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    • Maybe a cuddle would have helped?
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    • You...kick Miette? You kick her body like the football? Oh, OH! Jail! Jail for mother for One Thousand Years!
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    • Just close the curtain
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    • Fix it, damnit
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    • "WATCH the Birds"
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    • You’re a god to him
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    • Im not reading this shit
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    • Your cat is a toddler reincarnated
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    • Remove the word cat at the beginning
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    • within the first second of reading i believed i was about to read a story about someones asshole and was totally prepared!
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    • Well damn Jackie I can’t control the weather
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    • Or something is outside...
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    • Dude just do /weather clear
      IFHQ 2 jul
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    • For some reason I read asshole cat and I thought of Rodgers cat coming out of his asshole from that one episode of American Dad
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    • You should of closed the blinds and be even weirdly smarter
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    • Albeenor 2 jul
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    • That’s pretty cool
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    • Tell him u cant control that
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    • Better get Jesus on the line
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    • Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Close the curtains
      g_rant 2 jul
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    • I think he's just letting you know to prepare
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    • He's a familiar and disappointed in your lack of magic.
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    • The amount of time it takes to comment a reaction or how retarded you are that you can't read 3 paragraphs, is quite longer than the amount of time it takes to read 3 measly paragraphs
      Llandel 2 jul
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    • To be fair, you can turn night into day with zero apparent effort. That’s probably about as strange to an animal as turning off the weather, especially since you can turn the miniature storm in your bathroom off with the same ease as the lights
      liamcg 2 jul
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    • Same thing with my cat when it’s raining
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    • My cat kept meowing at me by my legs one night and led me up two flights of stairs into the master bedroom to show me a massive roof leak that was going to ruin the floor
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    • Damn Jackie I can’t control the weather
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    • Well buddy you better start making friends wit thor cuz that lighting bette be gone
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    • My cat will want to go out in the storms but after like 5 minutes he comes to the window meowing nu to be let in. I love my Garbo
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    • At first I read it as “at first my asshole got caught in” and was like wtf
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    • Sounds like my cat! He wants me to make the heat turn off outside, sorry to break it to ya bud but if you wanna be outside you’re gonna have to deal with the heat
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    • Fae
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    • I’ve had my cat for a while now and every time her food bowls empty she still leads me to the bag of food as if to guide me
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    • Are people really that bothered to refuse to read 4 very short paragraphs
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    • My cat does that with the rain. She gets pissed off at me every time it rains. It’s hilarious
      Ejnansel 2 jul
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    • This isn't even fake my cat did this to me too a couple of times
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    • Well, FIX IT, dammit!
      tc97801 2 jul
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    • Shut the blinds
      Daxpie 2 jul
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    • Wut if both times it was a burglar or something and u just didn't see him.
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    • Why do you have a cat for your asshole
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    • damn 50% of ifunny didn’t make it past 5th grade writing/reading ig.
      elfae 2 jul
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    • Pudge the fish controls the weather
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    • Purritos 2 jul
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    • That is the CUTEST fucking thing I’ve read today lmfao
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    • My one cat just gets loud when she wants attention, or wants to go out on the balcony. Honestly shes super cute and love her a lot. Max just lays near people and wants to be pet
      Nokraz 2 jul
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    • Close the window
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    • But if it were thors cat 🙃
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    • One of my cats is territorial of my room and me and if I yell at my dog for something like eating the cat food she runs over and smacks him and there was a litter of kittens I raised that would climb up my legs when I was trying to feed them and she would always run over and smack them away from me
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    • My cat knows i can let her in from the rain, but then she expects me to get rid of the rain, screaming at me until it stops.
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    • Both
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    • F I X
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    • “Fix weather.” Me: ok, (pulls gun)
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    • Yeah he wants to “watch” the birds
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    • Dont feel bad i have been done like that to
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