• donate to my kickstarter so can build a time machine and
1. get julius caesar addicted to hentai
2. seduce cleopatra
"oh but how will you seduce cleopatra?" you might ask because you're a moron. it's simple: i'm 6'2" and i'm fat. fatness was considered attractive back then because if you were fat, that meant you were wealthy enough to get fat.
plus, 6'2" is unreasonably gigantically tall in the
BC times.
so cleopatra will be like "a giant? AND he's got stretch marks?" and she'll instantly become infatuated with my rotund, hairy body
then i will live in royalty for the rest of my days.
kickstarter backers will have their names written in my tomb, baffling archaeologists for centuries to come.
My favorite part of this is that OP didn't feel the need to explain how he'd get Julius Caesar addicted to hentai.
    • EmailPinterestRedditTumblr Report
    • Copy link
    • Pinterest
  • 586 comments

    • *Caesar gets stabbed and says to Brutus* "oWo, what's this?" *notices your knife*
      1.7K Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Have you never seen those fat juicy animated milkers
      kokkinos 12 aug
      1.7K Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I could not fathom how historical figures who had never even seen a woman's knee would react to hentai
      1.7K Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Is easy to get addicted to Hentai, it doesn’t have all the guilt of contributing to the porn industry, and it has a lot of stuff for everyone.
      1.4K Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I thought Caesar was addicted to hent- oh my god you crazy son of a bitch you did it
      1.1K Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • It wouldn’t be that hard I’d bet he loves shotacon
      970 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Not sure if I want to back him, or be him.
      650 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Addicted to hentai can't go to meeting on the ides of March cuz he beatin it
      ___L___ 12 aug
      468 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Thanks to knowledge from a separate post, I learned the Cleopatra would have slept with you. She would have slept with any of us
      439 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I bet my boy Julius would be I to that super weird shit. When I used to talk to him back in the day some of his kinks were weird. So I bet he’d love some weird hentai
      447 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Since Caesar suffered from Epilepsy and died childless even after 2 or 3 wives, I doubt he'd jack off very much at all.
      TOMESTO1 12 aug
      421 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I like to imagine that he'd fall so in love with hentai that Roman art would become hentai in itself
      380 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Show him some of this
      338 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Cleopatra's got me actin strange
      Figure 12 aug
      299 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Actually I’d take Cesar to be more of a harem protagonist to busy absorbed in his work to settle down.
      165 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • You didn't need much to seduce Cleopatra. Of course, she executed you the next day...
      50 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Cleo would let many people be with her as long as ya knew you were getting gutted afterwards. Also fatness at that time wasn’t seen as luxurious actual wealth was so many who had wealth wear fat. Cleo fell for Julius both for his looks and his power which is know because she actually was devastated.
      26 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • None of the anti-porn posts have adequately explained hentai being bad besides "sin". Nah nigga a guiltfree alternative to trafficking, AND I don't have to see a real woman? Ez
      19 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Wouldn't be hard, the artwork back then wasnt the best, so good hentai would get him
      14 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I’m sure it wouldn’t be that hard to get ol Caesar into it
      14 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • content not available more
      11 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Only if we can save Steve Irwin and Robin Williams
      10 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Go back and make Nero a waifu
      9 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Ol’ Julius C. He’ll try anything 7 times.
      8 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Plot Twist: Julius Caesar's hentai addiction prevents the murder of Arch-Duke Ferdinand!
      TheFrelp 12 aug
      8 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • The porn they had back then is nothing compared to now. It's would be easy to get him on it
      7 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • You guys are actually addicted to hentai? I thought it was a joke
      6 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Y'all Cleopatra wasn't a slut right ? That myth was made up by Rome because octavius wanted to claim that his civil war with Augustus wasn't a civil war so he made state wide propaganda that Cleopatra was an evil mind controlling slut. Actual thing look it up. I like being historically accurate
      8 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Truly an honorable cause
      5 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Can someone explain op ive never really understood that
      4 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I don't know why but I never thought men got stretch marks, I thought it was just women
      4 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Okay but that other post said that you're allowed to have sex with Cleo, but she'll murder you the next morning so...
      5 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Not hard to get addicted to hentai, trust me
      4 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Tumblr Moment
      semeMdaeD 13 aug
      4 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • This is just Fate Grand Order all over again
      Zeminta 12 aug
      1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Ya but cleopatra fuckin had the dudes she slept with murdered the morning after
      2 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Now a bit of history. Cleopatra actually let people sleep with her, but in the morning she would murder them. Knowing that, people still got in line to fuck here. Now that's pussy power!
      4 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Proof that tumblr niggas are fat
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Yeah no one wants to admit that Cleopatra wasn’t that attractive and her entire family was plagued with genetic defects coming from their tendency to marry siblings.
      SissyFeet 13 aug
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Ceasar would seize watching hentai
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Cleopatra executes her lovers. Do a dine and dash
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • If Caesar was addicted to Hentai we would probably have Cat girls by now
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Dude cleopatra would allow guys to sleep with her but they would die the next day
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • The only problem with that is cleopatra was very smart and wouldn't get with some random fat guy with no army or special talents
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Hentai addiction? Goes without saying.
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Or why
      Gnoon 16 aug
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • what does OP mean in this context?
      MohBennie 15 aug
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Now thats the really simple part...
      ensentry 15 aug
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Imagine think it’d be hard to get someone from back the addicted to hentai. Tell him the gods sent you and take an iPad with a solar charger and a shit load of hentai downloaded done
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Cleopatra was apparently a sex freak too so it really wouldn't be all that difficult regardless
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I hate people that literally think like this. It was pretty tall, but not that damn tall.
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • The solution is simple to get Julius Caesar addicted to hentai are you would have to do is show him he thinks somebody is drawing images of actual people having sex people think that shit is real as fuck
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I think that how normal people live today is still better than royalty back then
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • There's no need to explain. It's not that hard
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • They already freaky
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Lol then everyone in Egypt dies of nowadays preventable diseases that he dragged there
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Egyptians actually shaved though lol he’d have to work on that lol
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • He should kiII caesar himself.thats what I would do.
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • "You might ask because you're a moron" how dare he say something so true 😂😂
      M3gaMan 15 aug
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I cant see this post. Like this so i can come back to it please.
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • It doesn't really need to be explained
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • But let me pitch: Alexander Hamilton reacts to Hamilton
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I like how he doesn’t realize that he would be introducing Influenza and COVID-19 to society before both diseases even existed so they would literally spread across the world and kil everyone
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Obesity was considered economically attractive, meaning it was a sign of wealth. It was never considered physically attractive.
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I wanna start a gofund me for my racecar cause idk how to get merchandise to be sold.....
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Just show him hentai it’s not hard
      Valflame 14 aug
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • get Caesar addicted to hentai and he can’t burn down the library of Alexandria 😳
      Chloe 14 aug
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • It's not hard to get someone addicted to hentai
      Konahriik 14 aug
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Where is Mark Antony in all this?
      peachtay 14 aug
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • No because that’s the easy part
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Bbbbh
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • or why he would do it
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Damn... too bad this never works... otherwise it would’ve already happened
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Cleopatra was pretty fuguly but you do you man
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • One problem. You'd have to convince Cleopatra that seducing you would somehow help her empire. She only dated dudes for her own political gain
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • What the fuck is there to explain? Show the dude some hentai and done
      Sleepily 14 aug
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Doesn't need to. Hentai man
      ARodGI 14 aug
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Caesar getting penetrated times: *Ahegao*
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Idk if this has been disproven but I once read that Cleopatra would sleep with anyone but she’d execute them afterwards so you could hit it but only once
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Toilet paper, showering, soap, wiping front to back, feminine care. All those things back then was NOT it. You'd get the STI of a lifetime.
      bekampo 14 aug
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Duh just bring your phone full of saved vids and pics it’s simple there bub
      HosHJeaD 14 aug
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • No explanation needed
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Julius would love hentai, especially since a lot of them focus on guys with small dicks which (if I remember correctly from an old feature I fact checked) was a sign of attractiveness or something
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • How do you know ceaser wasn’t already addicted to hentai?
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • It doesn’t really require any explanation right? It’s pretty fuckin explanatory. Just show him the hentai and it’ll do the rest on its own.
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Cleopatra murders the people she bangs with
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Caesar and cleopatra had a son
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • It’s so weird to remember that pretty much all Egyptians were around 5’5 MAX in that time period 😂
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Living an incredibly lavish lifestyle in most of history is worse than living a shitty one in modern times. In most ways at least
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Cleopatra used to smash her soldiers just for moral. She easier than Poland my man.
      hdijdxh 13 aug
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Or why
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • No need to explain the details pal it's easy
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Because it’s not in question
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Does he really need to?
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Well, it’s actually pretty easy
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I wanna be him
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • You just show him... boom done
      freshaf94 13 aug
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Or why
      winn13 13 aug
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • You're gonna die like right after but okay
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • The greatest Roman to ever exist could not simply be seduced by... are those tentacles?
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show

iFunny plug-in will teach your phone to smile

get on the iFunny app to roast them

All content related issues will be solved right here.
After all necessary information is provided, of course:

Complete the form below to notify iFunny of a claim relating to your intellectual property rights and content or some technical inconvenience with the service.
(Positive and productive feedback is appreciated as well).

Your details

Your relationships to the rights holder

Type of claim

Select
Copyright Trademark Nazi-related Offensive Technical difficulties Other
Describe the issue in detail. Please be specific.
Feeling poetic today? Feel free to provide more information
By clicking on "Submit" below, you are certifying the following statements:
  • I state that I have a good faith belief that use of the work(s) in the manner complained of is not authorized by the copyright owner, its agent, or the law.
  • I state that the information in this notification is accurate and, under penalty of perjury, that I am the owner of the exclusive right that is allegedly infringed, or an authorized agent for the owner.
  • I give my permission to pass my contact information to the alleged infringing party.

Privacy notice

For a list of the categories of personal information that we collect from you and how we use that information, please review iFunny’s privacy policy