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    • Last night in our campaign one of my party members fought an elf lady at a bar cause she offered him a prize if he won- he ended up winning and she offered him either a potion of cloud giant strength or to go home with her. He said both, she said that sounded good and then he used the potion then
      pluviosus 17 apr
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    • Look at all these thirsty boys with their shit memes trying to get top comment
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    • I rolled low on a deception check and....my level 16 3 foot 2 inch kobold paladin was brutally fucked by an adult green dragon......I didn't pass two of the five con saves, somehow I lived with 8 health left
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    • As a DM, I have a ripoff nerf crossbow that fits a d20 scarily well. Long story short I shot it at my wall to test it and left a sizeable dent. We call it the Discipline Crossbow and I shoot it at players who misbehave. It leaves bruises. I am an asshole.
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    • Ah, nerd shit I don't understand. Better than doggo shit or marvel fanfic shit at least
      Revelator 21 apr
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    • I seduced a goblin that had just hit me for 6 health. He was a guy and so was my character. I had gay goblin sex
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    • Somehow, fucking monsters becomes a literal thing in a lot of my campaigns. Perhaps i play with very strange people. Perhaps the game does strange things to people's minds
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    • That’s what you get hit with when you leave Cheeto dust all over the dice
      kiln4u 21 apr
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    • It's for dodeca-homicide
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    • If it lands on 1 he hits himself
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    • This guy needs to make more and sell them. I know many people would that would buy them
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    • DM... Dick master hahahaha
      T0UGE 20 apr
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    • Sign Reads: “Please stop trying to fuck the monsters. They are getting horny and taking it out on the villagers. This is a civil community. Thanks, Management.”
      Flamjetxx 19 apr
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    • Just saying, you drop a dragon in on us imma roll to fuck it
      YaBoyLHBP 18 apr
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    • Lmao so many DM’s hate fun so much. Why are you playing? Lol let us fuck whatever we want to fuck. The Nazis are still here guys, but they went from trying to kill the Jews to trying to make DnD sessions as boring as possible lol
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    • How this works is the DM hits you with it and the imprint of the diy determines your role number, only the strong survive the game
      jkeegan2 18 apr
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    • As a dm I can verify this as truthful
      jamez1 18 apr
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    • you get whacked with it and whatever number is imprinted on your forehead is what you roled
      Karouser 18 apr
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    • Which ever side ends up with the most blood is what you roll
      moo67 17 apr
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    • AmazingV 17 apr
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    • Roll for damage
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    • Roll for d a m a g e
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    • Has a 1 in 20 chance of blowing a person’s body into clean bits, also a 1 in 20 chance to make a squeaking sound upon contact.
      Risotto 17 apr
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    • There’s a good probability that it’s a mace rather than a hammer
      playerNo2 17 apr
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    • I remember we were in a bar in phandalin and we were trying to get Intel on something going on in a castle. We we were talking to the bartender who was the wife of a huge dude who would beat up anyone in his path. So we were almost done and I decided to scream "SHOW ME YOUR TITS".
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    • It's more of a mace than a hammer
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    • I'd make that an enchanted item that gives one of twenty effects when you swing it.
      KorGarott 17 apr
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    • Everyone just a reminder Mr. Crabbs sold spongebobs soul for 62 cents
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    • "THOR, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!" "I rolled a 1, sorry."
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    • Dont worry, I'll role dAMAGE *spins hammer in the air, grabs it as it's coming down and slams it into the person's head. Looks at where the giant blood stain was left* oh, look at that, you got a 14.
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    • But my Bard rolled a natural 20 for seduction
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    • The 20 side should be made of foam, and the materials on the sides get harder and harder the lower the number, and 1 is just hardened steel hitting you in the face
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    • I don't appreciate this bullshittery
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    • DM rolls a one, so now You gotta fuck the DM.
      _Paul 17 apr
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    • So all I have to say is inigga to get top comment
      bingsly 17 apr
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    • It’s a real life attack roll/con save. If the dm lands a hit on you your character suffers from a table of negative debauchery related effects based on the number it imprinted on your face. The effect wears off when the imprint fades away.
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    • I played this in prison it past so much time I wish I knew people that could play it out here
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    • Ya but do I get to fuck the monsters? I'd take a hit if so ;)
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    • Couple years back I had a friend decapitate a goblin with his dick.
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    • When the dm has had enough of your shit
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    • Mace not hammer
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    • So me and my friends just started playing and before the adventure was even able to start, my character was knocked unconscious after being kicked through a dwarf's house by an ox
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    • Brick: “20! HAHAH!”
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    • RNGesus's deity choice weapon.
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    • Can I pick this hammer up? Thor: Probably
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    • The nerds thor hammer
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    • My friend wanted to Fuck the werewolf and he rolled a 20 so he did and we were fighting a boss so while we were doing that he was fucking the wear wolf and then we got banned from playing because I yelled “don’t fuck the werewolf” and I forgot how my friend got banned but yeah fun times
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    • DM: Roll me 1dNOTGONNAHAPPEN
      crow1199 18 apr
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    • Every time someone’s gotta try to seduce the monster I swear
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    • Tiny Tina would go insane with this
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    • Isnt it more like a mace tho?
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    • Sneak your way in, find sexy monster, knock her unconscious, persuade her to join your team, chat her up throughout the campaign, marry at the end, or go back two steps and rape her while unconscious....your choice
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    • 2
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    • DM banned me from sexually harassing anyone or anything.
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    • That's a mace.
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    • Rollnir.
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    • Listen, even if this is your game, IT'S MY ADVENTURE! If I want to roll to seduce and fuck the giant Hydra, I'll sure as hell do it!
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    • “The Hammer of Probability will be used in Avengers: Endgame.” - Confirmed by Russo Brothers
      Jdeg1 17 apr
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    • Ha I would have been hit already. I just so happened to succeed in seducing a dire wolf that was about to destroy our lv 3 asses.
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    • Roll for damage
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    • If the dm is female, do you try sliding in the dm?
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    • If you fail a roll to fuck a dragon, do you die or GET fucked?
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    • Rollnir
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    • Guys help, i think my bf is going to break up with me at lunch today
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    • Mr game and watch just got an upgrade
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    • This is what I hit my players with when they metagame
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    • i really want to be allowed to say the full n word in these comments
      2
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    • Roll for damage
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    • Roll for damage
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    • *dink* Idiot
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    • “I roll to seduce the dragon” *clonk* “I change my mind”
      lepluuuum 17 apr
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    • That aint a hammer. That's a mace...
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    • "Damage for roll"
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    • People who try to fuck the monsters are the worst people to play with
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    • 2
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    • Bards be like
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    • I'm a DM and I can say that this would be very useful
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    • Roll to damage
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    • But what if I need to fuck the monster?
      tridenB 22 apr
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    • I think you need the glove of thanus to master that level
      1
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    • He rolled a 20
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    • The bitch deserved it
      Aang0 21 apr
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    • Sometimes it feels like foam, sometimes it feels like a truck.
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    • We now have drumans (dragon+human). Imagine dronkeys but the human version. after our mage successfully rolled a 20 seducing the dragon and he fucked the dragon as my and my friends character watched in horror. Needless to say my crew is now on babysitting duty.
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    • Need it
      ammm25 20 apr
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    • You rolled a 1
      MeepLord 20 apr
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    • 2 words.... baby hands
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    • this guys got baby hands...
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    • I’ve got a flail version of that
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    • No plz no more nat ones. Plz any thing but that
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    • Looks more like a mace
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