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    • I wanna play D&D but I don't know how to start or get my friends into it
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    • Some you dnd players out here being psychos
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    • "I'm gonna do ridiculous thing" "What!?" *rolls 20* "You did ridiculous thing."
      Vanelan 12 apr
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    • Why is it the barbarian just does fuck all and gets nat 20s? I played a game where the barbarian was adamant about doing a swim check on dry land, rolled a nat 20. Dm said fuck it you sink 20 feet into the ground. He died.
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    • Today was my first time playing actual DnD, and I was playing a character that can only mimic noises and phrases he hears. A guard had asked “Who goes there?” To which my character said “Who goes there?” I then got shot with a crossbow.
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    • Why do DM always act like if they get a 20 anything can happen, you are allowed to say no to the dumbasses who try to do stupid shit for no reason
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    • I did this as a bard but with every single boss, i convinced the boss to allow me to eat them, when we reached a crown we were trying to find to return it to the kingdom we came from i ate it fir savmfe keeping, my dm was fed up and made it so that the crown would kill me when we returned to the...
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    • I remember my partner shot at a bandit in a crowd once and rolled a 2 so the bullet passed him and hit a little girl and she started bleeding to death. I used my turn to grab him, yell “life’s not fair,” and run away
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    • One time my party tried “Get Help” from thor ragnorak and ended up killing a whole room of people because we were chucking this little rogue teethling around at everyone
      Rune_Vape 12 apr
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    • Honestly this might be kinda funny but this would be annoying as fuck in an actual game.
      Vakarian 9 apr
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    • One time I was tasked with finding the golden fleece in a large town by doing quests and asking for hints, turns out the fleece is indestructible so I decided to burn down the town instead to find it
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    • A 20 doesn't always mean a win. As a D.M. you have the authority and responsibility to stop shit like this.
      bigd321 12 apr
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    • My friend was an Orc. He carried around a dead baby in his backpack and refused to get rid of it.
      _Spike 12 apr
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    • I punch the initiative
      johnsozm 11 apr
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    • I have never once in my life played dungeons and dragons or anything like it but i know the d&d language because all my 4 of my brothers were raised in the 90s and early 2000s
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    • I mean after a certain point, a well geared barbarian isn't something that you just let do anything. It's more of a force of nature.
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    • My friend tried to fuck a zombie and rolled low and got his dick bit off
      luigeta 10 apr
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    • For those wanting to play but have no real friends; the player’s handbook, dungeon masters guide and monster manual are all free online. Go collect those and get the Roll 20 app which has all the boards, dice and equipment you need. all of you can just play with your online buddies through discord
      Zaanne 10 apr
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    • does anyone have a massive collection of these dnd text post stories bc like i love it
      6ftUnder 10 apr
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    • For those of you that want to get into D&D but dont have any friends that play, look online for either local D&D groups or online based D&D
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    • I love DND so fucking much. I’m so glad it hasn’t become irrelevant over the years. Sales are actually at a new high last time I checked
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    • I hate these stories cause that would be the most boring dnd game if you tell the dm you want to do something and he just goes okay you do that. No story added in, just cause and effect
      XileHQ 10 apr
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    • Why are d&d memes popular when most of the population has no idea what’s happening
      Mactavish 10 apr
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    • How my dnd experience went: DM-you come across a skeleton. Our demon- i fuck it. DM- wait what you cant its a literal skeleton. Demon- I fuck it *rolls chrisma 14
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    • I'm not into dnd, but it'd be fun if we were all drunk
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    • These D&D memes convinced my brother to get into D&D and now I’ve lost him to it.... he spends all his free time planning campaigns and designing characters
      _Nadiki_ 9 apr
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    • Some DMs just let anything happen, huh
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    • Whenever I play D&D I drink every potion possible
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    • I once shot a guy, thinking it was an animal (low perception roll) I killed him anyway after finding out (it was quite awkward) then found out that he was friends with a guy I needed to talk to
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    • We were in a boss fight, and I tried to hug the boss to teach it the meaning of love. I was gone during the latest session, so they all just assumed I would keep trying and rolled for me. 6 turns later, my character finna succeed and now I have a friend. I'm very happy with this. Meanwhile, my party
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    • What race is your barbarian? That should take way more than one round.
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    • That's funny because earlier today I lit dynamites around a pentagram and succeeded in my roll to somehow activate it. Tons of monsters were summoned, and I almost caused a party wipe. But ya, keep on eating informants
      raqshrag 10 apr
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    • If y’all have any questions about D&D feel free to DM me. I’ve been playing well over 10 years
      Zyroe 10 apr
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    • My dumbass friend ate a corpse in the middle of a zombie apocalypse and our DM wouldn’t tell us if he had been infected or not, he would just say “alright.... roll for constitution” every 20 minutes, it was funny as hell
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    • As a DM I really have to keep the game as light as possible. Theres always one person that ,until they get bored, is just going to play out their power fantasies. It can drag a game down if you dont know how to deal with it
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    • These are the types of DnD groups I despise. Been a DM for 12 years and i have never once just let someone do some stupid shit like that. How are you going to eat a whole ass man and not one dude stop you that whole time or be arrested afterwards
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    • If the dm doesnt limit you in any way, its a bad dm, its like talking during a movie, you miss the good parts of the movie in favour of some dumb ass doing stupid dumb ass things
      MalacathK 10 apr
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    • Wehim 10 apr
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    • I sure do love chaotic stupid players.
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    • Gidgetz 10 apr
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    • I'll be honest, I don't think that this didn't happen, because I do see this type of stuff with newer DMs, but I get really tired of new players thinking the Natural 20 means they succeed perfectly in every way and nobody can do anything trend is really annoying.
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    • I was DMing and my bf was fighting the boss and I figured I’d roll low so I said something about the boss ripping his head off and killing him as a joke but i rolled a 20 and he was so mad
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    • So does a nat 20 guarantee you did whatever shit you were trying to accomplish
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    • If there’s a dnd group at your school, don’t ever try to join with them. They’re always anime fags or the weird kids who won’t shut the fuck up and realize how annoying they are
      SamHyde 10 apr
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    • People really be living out their vore fantasies in DnD
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    • Once i was a body pillow that absorbed cum and hardened the more I absorbed
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    • I played my first game of D&D saturday and it was fun as fuck tbh
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    • A group of my friends fucking brutalized a giant frog and I was trying to be the voice of reason while the dm wanted to move on. I’m a drow elf, it should’ve happened the other way around.
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    • DnD is how you learn the true side of each person playing
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    • That's a pretty shitty DM. Give some details.
      Greymane 9 apr
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    • Massive props to the cleric for reviving him from a pile of doo doo
      Vaysum 9 apr
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    • Vore
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    • Vore?
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    • Why does no DM ever say no? You can.
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    • How do you revive someone who’s been eaten?
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    • I played a D&D game a while back where I joined a cult and just had sex with literally everything that moved I somehow acquired a magical condom that protected me from all stds and I just became a very good well known prostitute while everyone else played the actual campaign
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    • In my campaign, I split a hydrogen atom with my bare hands, organized an entire orgy with 1,000+ people because I was bored, and created a tiny universe.
      DypStyck 9 apr
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    • *visible confusion*
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    • This is for sure not rules as written but you know, having fun is key I guess.
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    • One time I was playing a thief and managed to steal a prosthetic leg from a guy who was STANDING gaurd by a door.
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    • I want the rest of this story.
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    • The Bard could have done it if it was a girl. Girl bard? Same point.
      JimDude 12 apr
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    • R O L E
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    • That’s a personality flaw right there
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    • Must have more, love these
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    • Ah the classic murderhobo barbarian
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    • I've never played dnd in my life, can someone please explain what all this means
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    • Vore
      AA__6 10 apr
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    • One of my players intelligence is through the roof but his wisdom is below garbage. Leading to him getting into a lot of bad situations he ends up thinking his way out of, it’s like an episode of Prison Break every fuckin session
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    • Niggas who play with this low of detail hurt every bone in my body.
      Stormsoul 10 apr
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    • I love how these memes create the false assumption that a bar 20 is an automatic success.
      demonloli 10 apr
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    • Is there a way to play dnd online and create my own thing on there so I dont have to go through the trouble of creating a whole board and using dice and what not?
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    • It’s really annoying when you spend a shit ton of time writing lore and a story and shit just for the players to act like a bunch of retards throughout pretty much the whole game
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    • So why do they keep saying “roles” instead of “rolls”
      Sarine 10 apr
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    • Then the DM says you have E. Coli and horrible food sickness, with a 2 week -8 penalty to strength skillchecks
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    • Anyone have that pic of King Neptune eating the krabby patty a second time?
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    • DND is easy to get into. The true problem is just finding a place that is willing to house your games in
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    • This is why parties need paladins
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    • Sounds like something that would happen in the Tiny Tina dlc. And yes I know that's based on DnD before it gets pointed out to me.
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    • Can you lose in d&d? Like you all die and fail your quest or something?
      Pilate 10 apr
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    • So I’m some ripped black guy named “Jamal breaker of chains” and I’m hanging off the side of a boat. This pirate goes to chop my fingers off so I fall into the water, I roll to flex my fingers to resist. I roll a 20 and he breaks the sword on my fingers.
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    • ..... I wanna play DnD, it sounds fun
      Nebulae_ 10 apr
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    • It bugs me that he says roles when it means rolls
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    • I played with a couple friends and had a half orc or some big brute as my character and I got him drunk went on a quest from a bartender being harrassed by thugs puked on em and beat one of em to death by swinging the other one from his ankles.
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    • Renonsyth 10 apr
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    • I’m so confused I’ve never played D and d and have literally no clue what it is or anything about it can someone please explain
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    • I have a character that is similar to pride from Fullmetal Alchemist in our current game, and I rolled a 20 to eat 3 monsters at once. Best thing since a friend of mine rolled a 1 to open a door and got trampled by a minotaur lmao
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    • Retarded dms be out here thinking Nat 20 is an auto success on skill checks
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    • Haha guy rolled 20 and did silly thing haha
      Griesyboy 10 apr
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    • The cleric after reviving the informant a second time:
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    • their should be a limit to what you can do even with a 20. like you can’t do something you couldn’t do before you rolled
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    • i don’t play this game so i’m really not sure what any of this means but it’s really bothering me that it says roles and not rolls. shouldn’t it be rolls? don’t you guys like roll dice?
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    • I feel like these give people who don’t play a weird impression of d&d. No problem with people who play with a 5% chance of an outlandish thing happening, but more realistic games exist and they can be even more fun 🤗
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    • Harmon quest was funny as hell. Dan Harmon playing a tabletop rpg with his friends, a guest player, and it gets animated.
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    • Once my plan was to throw a javelin at a wall bouncing it back and hitting a skeleton in the back of the head and I rolled a nat 20 and it got lodged in the wall and stayed there. That was my first time playing dnd good times
      TireEater 10 apr
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    • I assume it is people who don't actually play DnD who think natural 20s are fucking magical
      BeakerPD 10 apr
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