• DEVIL: sign here i'll give you one
magical harp, no strings attached
BARD: sweet lemme just- hmm
DEVIL:
BARD: but it comes with strings tho?
6
DEVIL: ya got me!
BARD: omg you're the worst
DEVIL: lol adding strings but i still
need that firstborn
BARD: of course
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  • 167 comments

    • Dude he wants the firstborn of a fucking BARD? Ha. Good luck finding him
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    • Just fuck the demon so the firstborn is his child
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    • Honestly most dnd bards have an armies worth of bastard children
      Khol 22 jul
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    • A firstborn for a Bard is nothing. He’ll get laid left and right
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    • why would the devil want custody of my kid? go ahead have him i aint paying for the little shit
      Camacho 22 jul
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    • Bard is just so willing, like no go ahead man take my first born
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    • Would that make the bard a warlock?
      _Chaos_ 22 jul
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    • When the bard multiclasses into warlock
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    • 12 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • He always be smashin’ dragons tho
      Zonkpunch 22 jul
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    • Is it just my phone or what? Cause around 2-3am my phone lags ONLY on this app. So with nothing to do I go to bed... It's like it knows.. I don't like it
      Bakubroz 23 jul
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    • I like magical harps, but I like gold fiddles even more
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    • 6 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • 5 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Like a bard would even know their firstborn
      zoob 22 jul
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    • 3 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • And thus spawned a Bard Warlock
      Idzizu 22 jul
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    • Me: so you want my firstborn right? Devil: Yep! Me: Ok, bend over
      connaho 22 jul
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    • And now he is multiclassing as a warlock
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    • Bard rhymes with retard.
      TheCheat 22 jul
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    • Cause in all honesty the bard has like at least a few bastard children already.
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    • So many virgins in these comments
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    • I mean all he’s gotta do is knock up the devil and be on his way bards can sleep with literally anything.
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    • Do you think I could be a bard? I'm pretty good at singing
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    • Donate sperm
      joshuafel 24 jul
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    • Why vote Democrat when i can sell my soul to a different demon AND get a harp.
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    • Post was stolen from r/dndmemes
      TheMystic 23 jul
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    • I never got that firstborn thing, the baby hasnt done anything sinful or non its soul would be absolutely pure of anything, meaning it would rest in purgatory for eternity, so why?
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    • I'm playing my first game of DnD on Sunday
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    • Id give the devil my firstborn for a taco
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    • That's so funny and quirky omg I love dnd!
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    • what?
      chicano 23 jul
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    • Seduce the devil
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    • This is how Bards multiclass into Warlock.
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    • I'll give my soul to the devil if he would give me a 5 guys burger
      SiegeKilo 23 jul
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    • Then the bard roles to seduce the devil and get said devil pregnant.
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    • What if u don’t want kids?😂
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    • People who play bard to have sex just are trying to live out there real life fantasy
      GordGeous 23 jul
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    • what if your nipple was just a mini boob so you had a boob on your boob
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    • I should make a deal like that with a demon. Jokes on him though im not gonna get laid XD.....:'(
      CharaV666 22 jul
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    • Where's that comic with the woman who says "when do we start?" To the fairy asking the same thing lol
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    • That’s how you multi-class into warlock.
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    • I got like 5 born on the same day dude
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    • Probably doesn’t even know his firstborn
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    • And that’s how a bard got Warlock multi class
      Goldjaw 22 jul
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    • First born of a bard? I hope Satan's good at where's Waldo.
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    • The bard then immediately knocks up the devil with his first born
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    • But like, what does a demon do when they already have had their first born? Just ask for the humans soul upon death?
      N7Shadow 22 jul
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    • Just imagine how mildly inconvenienced he'd feel about that deal
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    • What about a bard succubass that can change genders
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    • Ah
      Dom8474 22 jul
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    • Challenge him to a fiddle battle.
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    • My bard IS a demon
      Lumacosy 22 jul
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    • Bard: if you can find him you can keep em
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    • Eh, just don't have kids
      ExLunos 22 jul
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    • This is very similar to an episode of The Monkees, I think it's called "The Devil and Peter Tork" or something like that lol
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    • When you multi class as a warlock
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    • He's a bard. It's not the fact that he has to have children, it's trying to figure out which is his first born
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    • Bard while unzipping their pants: “so we doing it here or?”
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    • “Which one?”
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    • "Good luck figuring out which one was first"
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    • Damn, dude, if you can find his firstborn, you deserve to keep it
      y01nk 22 jul
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    • He's got spares
      Zsdcf 22 jul
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    • He’s a bard he’s probably got a spare bastard lying around somewhere
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    • Bard: First born as in the first one of all of them, or the first one of its species?
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    • Thorolf25 22 jul
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    • He’s a bard he has plenty of firstborns
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    • Was it a fiddle of gold?
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    • If you haven’t had a child and you give away your first born, it could be considered to be giving away your ability to have your first born. So no children for u
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    • If someone tries to shaft you in a deal, dont let them revert to the original, take them for more!
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    • Virginity
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    • So the firstborn was always part of the deal? There was a string attached
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    • Bard: ahh shit me too I want to meet my firstborn I cant even remember the girls name I'd like to say stacy? No she looks more like a maria no a gwen ahh fuck it just take the kid
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    • My favorite thing about the Bard I’m playing is that he’s one of the most charismatic motherfuckers out there, literally can’t roll lower than 19 on Persuasion, but his entire time in the party is essentially his bachelor party because he ran from an arranged marriage that he plans to go back to.
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    • Roll to seduce the devil
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    • Do bastards count as firstborns?
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    • If it was just the first two lines it would have been funny
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    • So the devil just assumes that I will have children
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    • He says he’ll need your firstborn but what happens if you don’t have kids?
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    • Anyone got the Futurama clip?
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    • loophole: fuck a demon in your teens and make a deal with the offspring when you need it most later in life, then the demon is your firstborn
      Ukt3na 22 jul
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    • That's actually an interesting concept for a Warlock Bard
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    • Bargain that in exchange for the first born child to be one born from a diety, the Devil gives you the harp and allows you 2 years to fulfill your end of the bargain. Then, using the harp, roll to seduce the Devil into raw dogging you. You gotta be a female bard though
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    • Does anyone have that video of Bender giving his first born to the robot devil?
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    • A musical instrument walks into a bar. The tender says" Sorry, we don't serve string instruments here." The instrument says"What do you mean, I'm a flute", to which the bartender replies with "No you're not, you look like a small harp". Instrument, now indignant says "Are you calling me a lyre".
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    • So if you made a deal for your first born and you have twins, do they take one or both?
      Moon_Dogg 22 jul
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    • Bard/warlock multiclass
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    • Im surprise the barb is not there since hes fucking dead all the time
      meechy14 22 jul
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