• Date: Do you want to go upstairs?
Me: Sure.
Date: Do you have any protection?
Me: *looking visibly scared* W-Why?
Who's up there?
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    • I always carry a battle ax when I go upstairs for under the bed monsters, shower curtain monsters, and closet monsters
      zale 20 may
      3.3K
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    • It is I, an unwanted pregnancy, that is up here
      2.7K
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    • 10
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    • Yeah, my gun is by my crotch like always, why?
      6
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    • What girls aren't on birth control these days?
      6
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    • It's not who... Its WHAT
      6
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    • I’ve been on ifunny for 2227 days y’all...
      6
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    • 6
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    • Omg, I thought it said "dad" and not date
      5
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    • I read “dad” instead of date
      GM305 a month
      4
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    • I’m in the bathroom taking one of those shits, the ones that just make you feel terrible. Wish me luck bois
      Corolla a month
      4
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    • 7
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    • 4
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    • Ok I’m really sorry I read date as dad end me please
      4
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    • *Pulls out fns 9mm compact "ok let's go"
      3
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    • I was wearing my armor!
      3
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    • I read this as dad and it gives it a whole different story
      3
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    • *Pulls pistol outta pants* Yup never leave bed without it *date realizing she grabbed my pistol and not my pistol*
      Ghost13997 a month
      3
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    • I was wearing my armor!
      3
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    • Jäger: we don’t have to worry about grenades now
      3
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    • Thought that said dad and I was fukin confused for a minute.
      3
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    • Animefrey 20 may
      3
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    • Thanos kills Brandon Stark.
      3
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    • Her: you got protection me: i have this can of flex seal
      3
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    • 3
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    • DarkGrey 20 may
      3
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    • That’s pretty quirky ngl
      2
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    • *taps appendix * of course ,I never leave home without it
      2
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    • I was reading this in bed and then for some reason got light headed and next thing you know I’m standing up with my pants off
      Nigward09 a month
      2
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    • *unsheathes a longsword.-------- Me: of course
      2
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    • Where's the video of Vegeta saying "I was wearing my armour"
      2
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    • You thought it was unwanted pregnancy, BUT IT WAS ME DIO!!!!!
      my_left_toe a month
      2
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    • The Pee Pee Monster
      AstroMemez a month
      2
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    • Anyone ever look up the stairs and it’s dark so their might be aliens up there. I usually sprint as fast as possible to the top to turn on the light
      2
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    • I was wearing my ARMOR!!!
      2
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    • I thought this shit said "Dad." Visible confusion
      2
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    • 2
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    • This bomb ass pussy
      Yatsuto 20 may
      2
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    • A form of unlucky creation of life
      lanoo 20 may
      2
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    • That date ended there
      2
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    • The sex demon milf is up there
      2
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    • 2
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    • 3
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    • weedfuck 20 may
      3
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    • Tipzee 20 may
      2
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    • Your uncle. Your uncle is up there
      nonono71 20 may
      2
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    • "You said you were wearing protection!" ~Bulma "I was wearing my armor!"~Vegeta
      2
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    • You can tie your foreskin, natural condom
      Thappun 20 may
      2
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    • Weird my date is usually in the basement locked in a soundproof room
      logarith 20 may
      2
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    • Shalomi_ 20 may
      2
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    • inigga
      2
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    • *date leans in so only I can hear* " Shia labouf
      2
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    • If your not already in a suit if armor im going to have to ask you to get some clothes on you filthy harlot
      MrSmiles 20 may
      2
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    • 2
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    • I read date as dad and was very confused
      dogcollar 20 may
      2
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    • 2
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    • 2
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    • As dense as an anime protagonist
      iRaditz 20 may
      2
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    • *me raising my shield* Yeah..
      2
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    • Yea the WiFi password is “ I owe the adult video store 100$”
      killercj350 a month
      1
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    • She's talking about condoms
      1
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    • Trojan man. Trojan man is up there.
      1
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    • Never should have come here
      zombosquad a month
      1
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    • It's life! Death's brother!
      1
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    • I carry a tennis racket for personal defense
      Incongruity a month
      1
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    • If you ain't strapped during sex, you might as well not wear a condom either. In fact, just sleep on the couch, you fucking casual. No pussy for your virgin ass.
      C_B_ a month
      1
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    • Your mom
      1
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    • "hahaha I misunderstood a basic question because it's about SECKS I'm so funny and quirky xDDdd"
      1
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    • Y'all need protection cuz nothing comes for free. 😎
      1
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    • No
      PorkSword a month
      1
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    • Yes
      PorkSword a month
      1
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    • “Nobody is up there, but big slime just used those stairs”
      ACDAWG a month
      1
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    • It's Peter griffin
      1
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    • In today’s society it would be her bf
      1
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    • Knowing me thats some type of shit i would say
      1
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    • 1
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    • Feel like u guys missed the Pof days. Slain a lot of puss at the risk of never seeing my family again
      1
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    • I laughed harder than I should have
      1
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    • Can’t relate
      Furio 20 may
      1
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    • A. 308 bult action. Couple ARs and handguns as well as a trusty 12guage. Well be alright. Let's go fuck
      1
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    • I read date as doctor so ya that was confusing
      1
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    • How does one get to the sex part on a date?
      zoomerAf 20 may
      1
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    • We live in a dangerous world, always make sure you have protection ... in the form of a sharp objecr, my personal favorite is a halberd or a war axe. If you feeling a little spicy, carry a canister of mustard gas or have a cannon loaded with grape shot.
      1
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    • Pulls out pocket sized Bible... This the only protection I need.
      XEclaire 20 may
      1
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    • Oh now you know there’s going to be something freaky happening in the comments section of posts like these.
      1
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    • 2
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    • content not available more
      1
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    • Michael Cera be like
      CALEDY 20 may
      1
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    • *Cue Mr.Nightmare*
      beavers27 20 may
      1
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    • Can't wait to say that to this girl I'm about to hook up with
      1
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    • I hate when they ask me that question. NO BUT DO YOU HAVE PROTECTION.
      Mybickdig 20 may
      1
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    • 1
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    • I thought it said dad
      Protoben 20 may
      1
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    • "I thought you said you had protection!" "I was wearing my armor!"
      LegendCow 20 may
      1
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    • Stupid stupid stupid stupid. Condoms break. The only way you can prevent an unwanted pregnancy is a condomn and birth control. And only if you arent meant to have a kid. You can have a kid while on bc, using spermicide, and while using a condom with spermicide inside.
      1
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    • Me lol
      Moniica 20 may
      1
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    • Hears Micheal Myers theme
      2
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    • This is a friends joke
      2
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    • Anyone remember the name of that video about waiting on the front porch for the dinosaurs to come home?
      1
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    • I'm always prepared
      Rhoasckm 20 may
      1
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