• Dads Anonymous
DAD: go on, it's safe here
ME: sometimes I don't cut the
grass in a pattern
*one dad vomits, another stops
grilling entirely*
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  • 487 comments

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    • The dad in the back starts taking off his white new balance shoes very slowly
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    • The group disbanded shortly after another dad admitted he preferred White Claw over a regular beer.
      Jca2790 26 jun
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    • One dad throws his Hawaiian shirt on the ground in rage
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    • this is the post i think about every single fucking time i now a goddamn lawn
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    • A dad’s khaki shorts turned into Jorts
      Damare 26 jun
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    • You're no longer invited to the Sunday barbeque's >:(
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    • I am already a “dad”. I have a dad bod, love grilling and one of my main chores is mowing. I am 15
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    • “Sometimes I wear my sandals without socks on when it gets too humid...”
      Tanarri27 26 jun
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    • I like that the connotation is that stopping grilling is more dramatic than vomiting
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    • PorkSword 26 jun
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    • “I sometimes...I sometimes let the kids change the thermostat when they’re too hot or cold.”
      ATOMlC 27 jun
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    • Turn in your white nikes and get the heck out
      pspsps 26 jun
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    • One dad goes off in a fit of rage and builds that porch extension he's been talking about for the past months.
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    • Just found out my wife is 3 months pregnant. I'm going to be a dad soon!
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    • I mow my yard but it’s too awkwardly shaped to cut in a pattern😔
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    • Dad: “i never hug my son” *High fives all around*
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    • Yeah and that’s why you’re on the brink of divorce, Jerry.
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    • How dare you not cut the grass in a pattern...bastard
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    • 11 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Imagine not making perfect lines on your yard 🤮
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    • Another dad: I havent been to home depot in two weeks,y life is falling apart
      R2_D2 27 jun
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    • I think my grill just rusted a bit, just form me hearing that.
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    • It means the child is not his. Just as the dad jokes are bestowed upon men becoming fathers, so too does the urge the cut the grass in patterns.
      CRS6132 26 jun
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    • Hawaiian shirts bust open, buttons go like shrapnel from a grenade. You will know why the dad bod is feared by so many.
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    • “Hey big guy, get the fuck out of here”
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    • One dad takes off his white New Balances
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    • I imagined the dad just putting his grill out and packing it inside and calling it a day
      ExpliXiit 27 jun
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    • I like the meme. But anyone else’s dad just like what the old dudes in the 40s would be like. Works all day. To come home to sit outside and work more. Wears ratty clothing cuz he doesn’t care. Has no idea how to cook except things to properly sustain the body but with no taste. Always looks mad.
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    • Once my credit is up and I have a savings. Wife and I are buying our first house but I absolutely hate mowing and not looking towards it
      dibbidy 26 jun
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    • I like how it implies that the vomiting dad is still grilling while vomiting
      leeches 26 jun
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    • The other stops making dad jokes
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    • BOO this man!!!
      zerosober 26 jun
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    • 6 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • I just grew 20 more lbs in my dad belly and lost 297 more hairs
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    • Idek how to cut grass in a pattern good thing I’m 18 and not a dad yet
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    • Fact: our economy would collapse without black people
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    • How do you not cut it in a pattern?
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    • Always did before I got my own house now I really dont give a fk
      GLoomis 28 jun
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    • My neighbors on both sides mow their lawns multiple times a week and follow a very specific pattern when they do it. I mow once a month and will go in circles on some parts, crisscross lines on some parts and skip some parts. It makes them crazy. Life is good.
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    • Levi_USMC 26 jun
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    • Mowing is mowing
      ZanderX10 26 jun
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    • So I'm not a dad but I still like mowing the lawn in patterns. The other day I saw my neighbor's son outside, I haven't seen him in a while because he had been running with the wrong crowd. (1/2)
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    • That one dad just fuckin closes the grill
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    • Cutting the grass in the same direction every time is bad for it
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    • Hqven 26 jun
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    • How is grilling and drinking beer a stereotype for fatherhood
      warden238 26 jun
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    • You’re about to get a size 11 New Balance shoe up the ass for that one.
      comment 30 jun
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    • How do you cut the lawn in a pattern?
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    • and i sometimes dont crack dad jokes whenever my kids come in saying “im hungry”
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    • i dont yell at my family for turning down the thermostat to 69 degrees Fahrenheit...
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    • If your child has a child do you remain in the dads club or do you join a separate granddads club?
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    • Who tf doesn’t cut their grass in a pattern
      Traumatik 29 jun
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    • That’s not just a dad thing that’s a sane person thing
      BADMAN9 29 jun
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    • Alright...the crocs are going into ASSAULT MODE!!!
      JLikeCake 29 jun
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    • The other dad stop telling corny jokes and disassembles his tree house he is building
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    • My dad: *stands up and proudly announces he has completed the program after 4 years, walks out the door never to be seen again*
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    • Well since the fish is off the hook...
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    • My Fiance cuts the grass in a penis shape. Every time I shake my head and imagine someone flying over and seeing a giant Dick in yard
      MadFry97 29 jun
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    • I had this beat into me by my adoptive parents xD
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    • Sometimes i encourage my children to play with the thermostat😞
      Pacman01 29 jun
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    • You’re just a piece of shit human being that doesn’t deserve to live if you do that like just what the fuck is wrong with you.
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    • Why would you not tho it’s so much more efficient that way
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    • Damn you got him to stop grilling? Fucked up man
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    • Since my backyard is big and has an irregular shape i cut it from the outside slowly going into the inside, leaving no marks (like a swirl going inwards)
      uulrikk 29 jun
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    • Do y’all mow from the outside-in or do it in rows?
      Notknown 29 jun
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    • I don’t know how to father and I hope I’ll be ready for it when it rolls around
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    • Quality
      Alchymist 29 jun
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    • Id official become a DAD when i can get my weed trimmer to fuckin start
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    • “I don’t think White Claws are THAT bad...”
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    • i used to draw in the grass. it wasn’t very good but you could still see that i was making stick men :)
      hunterw9 28 jun
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    • I see...
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    • Bruh your stripes look like shit
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    • I only have one hammer
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    • It good to change mowing patterns so u dont make ruts in the yard over time and it good for the grass
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    • “I’ve never told a bad dad joke...”
      _itzkatie 28 jun
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    • I'm confused cause this makes no sense
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    • I...i..let my wife change the thermostats temp yesterday. I still have nightmares
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    • My yard has so much stuff in it, it's hard to do lines
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    • I go around the edge and then the middle gets smaller and smaller til it’s done
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    • I don’t know about y’all but I’m high af rn
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    • Turn in your beer belly, khaki shorts, and white shoes then get the hell out
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    • The Dad's be like:
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    • It hurts to see people take father's for granted because that type of love is hard to come by
      purpleman 28 jun
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    • You fucking what!
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    • Is it weird I envision a fathers club solely of white and Hispanic men only?
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    • When i heard that i had 2 turn the car around, cuz im ur daddy..
      usedname2 28 jun
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    • Shortly after this confession and all out civil war broke out after another said they prefer grilling with propane
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    • "One time I had a mechanic change my oil instead of doing it myself"
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    • I really love to grill (and cooking in general) and I think of this post every time I use my grill
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    • Oh my god imagine looking at the mow lines and they’re just weaving all over the place 🤮
      goginga 27 jun
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    • One's new balance shoes spontaneously combust!
      kirby_b8 27 jun
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    • *grilling internally* would have been better.
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    • Im 19 i cut the grass in sections, like ill split the front yard into 4s
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    • Another dad allows his kids to touch the thermostat, while sending disappointed looks to you.
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    • Stops grilling entirely...he turned off the coals?
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    • Abstract
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    • *Disapproves
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    • *puts down Miller lite*
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