Construction guy: Have you seen my brick
Me:
txt2speech
16 jun
Construction guy: Have you seen my brick Me:
WHO CARES?
IT'S NOT A WARCRIME IF WE WIN
PickyColt PickyColt
27 sep 2020
WHO CARES? IT'S NOT A WARCRIME IF WE WIN
I just hired this babysitter for my ex husband
' = we
fa
Lindaberry Lindaberry
20 may
I just hired this babysitter for my ex husband ' = we fa
Don't take your diaper off, just move it to the side
KingDrox KingDrox
19 may
Don't take your diaper off, just move it to the side
The Egyptian Mau is probably the oldest breed of cat. In fact, the breed is so ancient that its name is the Egyptian word for "cat."
thesixpennybook
#did they name it may because thats the sound cats make!?
now I am just imagining a very early Egyptian encountering a wild cat for the first time.
human: what the fuck are you? cat: mau human: oh okay then
IndigentSeeker IndigentSeeker
20 sep 2020
The Egyptian Mau is probably the oldest breed of cat. In fact, the breed is so ancient that its name is the Egyptian word for "cat." thesixpennybook #did they name it may because thats the sound cats make!? now I am just imagining a very early Egyptian encountering a wild cat for the first time. human: what the fuck are you? cat: mau human: oh okay then
"So tell me more about yourself"
Me, trying to remember who I am:
"So tell me more about yourself" Me, trying to remember who I am:
Lovely dog
sm
morbidXprincess morbidXprincess
5 apr
Lovely dog sm
Me: "We're leaving in 5 minutes, are you dressed?"
My toddler:
Phil_Latio Phil_Latio
20 jan 2021
Me: "We're leaving in 5 minutes, are you dressed?" My toddler:
Person at work: "we're more than just coworkers, we're a family"
Me:
bi
Person at work: "we're more than just coworkers, we're a family" Me: bi
fresh
2 smiles earned yesterday
whynot104 whynot104
8 dec 2020
fresh 2 smiles earned yesterday
when you come out of the store and you have an airgasm
Airgasm: Intense pleasure from the air felt on the face when the mask is removed.
summersfullife summersfullife
8 sep 2020
when you come out of the store and you have an airgasm Airgasm: Intense pleasure from the air felt on the face when the mask is removed.
Ex-porn star Mia Khalifa goes topless to celebrate new
OnlyFans account
Mia Khalifa ha been ng advocate of "doing porn on y own terms" and has ded those using OnlyFans to make
tar uploaded a sultry pict on
money. The forr
mik.png
1.63 MB PNG
>pornstar says she regrets doing porn and quits
>now starts an onlyfans to sell more porn
I'm confused.
XXXONAMEMESTREAK XXXONAMEMESTREAK
15 jan 2021
Ex-porn star Mia Khalifa goes topless to celebrate new OnlyFans account Mia Khalifa ha been ng advocate of "doing porn on y own terms" and has ded those using OnlyFans to make tar uploaded a sultry pict on money. The forr mik.png 1.63 MB PNG >pornstar says she regrets doing porn and quits >now starts an onlyfans to sell more porn I'm confused.
When the teacher already yelled I at you and your classmate but then the joke kicks a second time
Kenzie_OP Kenzie_OP
12 mar
When the teacher already yelled I at you and your classmate but then the joke kicks a second time
@img cat frog
MrQwertyxsad
That's a dog you dyslexic
bot
SKUBBB SKUBBB
22 sep 2020
@img cat frog MrQwertyxsad That's a dog you dyslexic bot
Americans when they learn that there might be an electricity shortage.
ColdWar ColdWar
19 may
Americans when they learn that there might be an electricity shortage.
fa. shittymoviedetails
In Gulliver's Travels, production was constantly delayed as Jack Black kept accidentally stepping on and killing the actors
fa. shittymoviedetails In Gulliver's Travels, production was constantly delayed as Jack Black kept accidentally stepping on and killing the actors
He's hiding the indoor swings and I'M the child?
Why does he have so many collars? Secret dogs.
camsuar98 camsuar98
23 sep 2020
He's hiding the indoor swings and I'M the child? Why does he have so many collars? Secret dogs.
Ready to play with balls!
Ready to play with balls!
Psychologist: Danny from the maths problem isn't real
Danny from the maths problem:
dtrain20061 dtrain20061
1 oct 2020
Psychologist: Danny from the maths problem isn't real Danny from the maths problem: