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    • Fruit cakes used to heal, sword does poison damage & can be used as projectiles up to 29 times
      SNThanks 1 apr
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    • Oh god beedle has become too strong
      Goomy 1 apr
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    • I'm scared of a guy who has crops I stole from his farm
      BAIKO 1 apr
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    • Bold of you to assume I sell anything
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    • I knew I should have kept the 5000 iron daggers with vampirism
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    • (((merchant)))
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    • Man that dedric merchant from skyrim is prob gonna fuck me up with the 2,000 armor sets from guards I killed
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    • Well if it was skyrim he could have fortified a nation with weapons and defenses with the amount of stolen spoons and plates I sold
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    • Remember the weapon you sold because you found a variant that did 1 more damage?
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    • Terraria 6 apr
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    • Riverwood trader Is actually a dragon
      5
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    • Imagine the RAW fucking FIREPOWER of the merchant from Resident Evil 4. And every time he hits you you hear “HwUE hWuE HwUE... thank ya”
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    • That Tumblr user made a post one time complaining about "White-washed elves" and I cannot take them seriously anymore.
      Popsmart 7 apr
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    • *looks at borderlands 2 merchant* *softly* Dont...
      5
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    • That’s a fun concept but the moment anyone catches wind of the twist, it loses its replayability since players would intentionally avoid selling weapons to the merchant.
      Rexis102 7 apr
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    • Skyrim blacksmiths with 1000 iron daggers.
      a55gr3r 6 apr
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    • Fuck he has like 600 elven blades of sparks
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    • *said the fruitcake*
      4
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    • *spawns 300 fruit cakes with physics enabled and crashes your game
      4
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    • Oh shit I never should have traded Lucan Valerius from Riverwood all that firewood
      4
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    • Enter the gungeon just did that in their recent update.
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    • Fallout 4, shit ton of chems and empty pipe guns
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    • I know nobody will read this, but there’s this game called monster madness and if you make it that far you have to fight the guy who sold you all sorts of parts and all of his guns were 1 level higher than yours, and at max level they had some awesome modifier onto them
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    • Dear god not a man with 500 iron rings and a dagger
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    • Deadass this is gonnah be an enimy in my dnd campaign. You can only sell him wands and later on he'LL FUCKING RUSH YOU WITH A QUARTER STAFF COVERED IN HUNDREDS OF WANDS THAT HE GLUED TO IT.
      RoloMan 6 apr
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    • The riverwood trader is gonna fuck all your days up.
      4
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    • *sweats in Borderlands 2 Golden Chest loot *
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    • Got to fight a lady with full deadric armor and weapons, 1000 iron daggers, and like 100 dwarven bows
      lord_gog 6 apr
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    • Alternate idea: whatever you didn’t buy from him. You never saved up enough money to get that overpowered weapon? Well now he gets to use it
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    • Game concept: all the items you sell in skyrim are likely to make their way into the troops during the civil war. So due to you tanking the value of leather bracers and iron daggers to level your smithing that's the only equipment in the feild.
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    • The armor guy in wundeadun I sold all of my iron daggers to in order to get my smithing up
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    • Fuck off belethor
      KenobiKun 10 apr
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    • So scared of the guy with lvl 100 knitting
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    • Level 999 Belethor with full daedric armor
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    • In Skyrim I used to forge and enchant iron daggers to increase smithing and enchanting, then sell them to the riverwood trader. Easily sold him over 2000 enchanted iron daggers. I’d be fucked.
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    • Some skyrim players just shit their pants
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    • What about all of those deadric weapons I sold him maxing my smithing out..... and the dragonbone armor. And almost all of the deadric artifacts.... oh no.... and the chick I soul trapped for 4 hours getting 100 conjuration.
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    • Y'all ever played Bayonetta
      3
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    • You clearly have never been in the presence of a fruitcake. They are as hard as a dragon's hide, and hold the weight of a mountain within. You may be able to withstand the power of one, but 200? You are already dead
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    • You better be scared because now he can heal 200 times and those swords stack damage. Those swords are rusty and poison in games is no joke
      Cool999 7 apr
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    • Add this to the "humble peasant accidentally made a dungeon" scenario
      3
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    • Moira what are you doing with that Fat Man?
      3
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    • I’m scared of the guy with 700 gold rings that fortify magika by 5 points
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    • now he has a 12 inch black dildo and no lube. i gotta start training like thanos i guess
      3
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    • D&D Heroes. No really, this.
      ibiwan2 7 apr
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    • Oh yeah, I'm scared of the guy I sold a super sword to cause i found a one-shot weapon.
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    • In skyrim they'd just have a shit ton of iron daggers and hide bracers from me
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    • Good luck killing them when they have 200 fruit cakes to restore hp with as they ruin you with a million swords like Gilgamesh from fucking fate
      3
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    • You’ve maxed your level, you’re de facto king of Skyrim because of all the leadership positions you hold, you’re the foremost warrior on Tamriel. You seek challenge, so you walk the lowest plains of oblivion. In its deepest dungeon you find your foe, training alone; the Champion of Cyrodiil awaits
      Proc 6 apr
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    • Looking to defend yourself? Or deal some damage?
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    • The swords all begin to levitate around the merchant, the tips directed towards the player. Once made of dull rusted iron, the blades shine now with a white glow around them. The cheap cakes sold to the merchant had long since gone rancid, liquefied and been bottled for use as projectile weapons.
      BreadLad 6 apr
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    • Shooty 6 apr
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    • Dark Souls 3 secret boss. The Handmaiden: wields literally every weapon she can sell you. So all of them
      3
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    • If it’s Resident Evil 4, you’re fucked 6 ways to Sunday
      3
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    • Well shit I guess I’m going up against the guy wearing at least 1000 sets of white run guard armor
      3
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    • There was a game called Monster Madness where that was the big twist, only difference was he carried all the guns you could get from him just in there max upgrade form.
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    • I'd be afraid of the blacksmith at the front of wundeadun. 600+ Iron Daggers would be hell to deal with.
      3
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    • who sells anything thats useful or good to the trader.
      jynflyn1 6 apr
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    • In Skyrim i sell a lot of really powerful poisons (because i can make a metric fuckton) so whoever i fought would probably be quite the pain in the ass
      3
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    • Selling the shop keeper op magic weapons and items because you were a warrior and didn't give a shit about magic
      3
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    • Im scared of the guy I sold a dagger that did a million damadge to
      skerps 6 apr
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    • Jokes on you till they are beating the hell out of you with those swords pin you to the ground and feed you all 200 fruit cakes laughing like an orangutan on crack
      APet 6 apr
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    • Im fucked, i sold Trashcan carla like 30 mininukes
      tanmancan 12 apr
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    • The Pokémart guy, but his entire arsenal is just gold nuggets
      2
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    • Hits you with every sword at once and can out heal lightning storm
      Emrakul 11 apr
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    • Wait until he throws seemingly infinite iron daggers at you
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    • I've sold so much modded shit to that cocksucker but I'm invincible so come at me bitch
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    • He's going to be able to kill me with the thousands of rubies and sapphires he somehow forged into armor and weapons.
      2
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    • Uses 30 swords at the same time in creative and deadly ways thanks to telekinesis. What? How’d you think he was always there during an important mission for you to restock. He’s psychic. He can teleport and throw shit with his mind!
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    • If this was an MMO boss, literally any bizarre keeper would be unstoppable
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    • Well this guy is going to have 5000 daggers
      2
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    • Breath of the wild, link vs beetle
      2
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    • 30 old swords? Bitch more like a thousand
      2
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    • 70000 wheels of cheese
      Caedmon 8 apr
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    • There was an old D&D video game for original Xbox called “heroes” and the main villain turned out to be the shop keeper, I don’t think your purchases effected the fight tho
      2
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    • I'd tit fuck a merchant
      rvib 8 apr
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    • Some may call this trash. Me, I call them treasures.
      KangaRo 7 apr
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    • Ever stole from the merchant in Link’s Awakening? He’ll fuck you up! THIEF!!
      2
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    • The stall that sells arrows in gerudo town is gonna just throw gems at me and random home cooked meals
      2
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    • Yea but he will use the swords as weapons and throw them at you can use the fruitcakes as healing
      2
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    • Well, I just sold nearly 100 pieces of titanite to Frampt as well as the Dragon Tooth.
      2
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    • Iron dagger man
      2
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    • Add on the powerful items you miss in the game or didn't buy from them
      2
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    • Oh no not my 3000 cheese wheels, he’s going to have infinite health
      2
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    • *gigantic giants toe has appeared*
      2
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    • Aaannnd they have over 600 paralysis poison vials. Fuck me and my crafting business
      2
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    • Belethor is gonna fucking kill me.
      2
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    • Better Concept: The entire point of the game is to find weaker weapons up to the point where you can't beat a level 1 slime.
      2
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    • You fool with that many fruit cakes he will never run out of HP
      2
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    • That's the plot of animal crossing
      keyboard 6 apr
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    • A dull blade would cut worse, just shredding away at your skin. Rust is just a buff that inflicts tetanus damage
      2
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    • Ok then just don't sell him anything
      2
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    • Didn't this happen on Bayonetta
      2
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