Cashier: Your total is $110.25
My girl: Here baby
Xinity Xinity
25 sep 2020
Cashier: Your total is $110.25 My girl: Here baby
Dad: *pumping gas*
Mom: The smell of this gas is giving me a headache
Me in the back seat:
TheBoss420 TheBoss420
5 mar
Dad: *pumping gas* Mom: The smell of this gas is giving me a headache Me in the back seat:
Who are you calling a cootie Queen?
YOU LINT LICKER
Tabby Tabby
15 oct 2020
Who are you calling a cootie Queen? YOU LINT LICKER
My wife said she wanted a Gucci mask so I got her this. She's mad.
_NOprofilePIC_ _NOprofilePIC_
22 feb
My wife said she wanted a Gucci mask so I got her this. She's mad.
You thiak
I can do this
I all day, you poofy
Fox_Flame Fox_Flame
24 sep 2020
You thiak I can do this I all day, you poofy
When you and and your funny friend trip on acid together
Voidrealm105 Voidrealm105
19 may
When you and and your funny friend trip on acid together
Someone needs to tell her...
That is not how you open a beer
Someone needs to tell her... That is not how you open a beer
IHateJake42069 IHateJake42069
21 sep 2020
Fat ass cat in a tuxedo
Ash
guys literally only want one thing and it's fucking beautiful
2017-10-22, AM
KOB1T3H KOB1T3H
8 may
Ash guys literally only want one thing and it's fucking beautiful 2017-10-22, AM
Day 1 of cat adoption
can stay here?
Th-thank you.
lil just hideaway and not be a bother.
One month later
How dare you enter my realm, peasant! am the lord of the living room!
Shower me with adoration or feel my wrath!
Lunaris_333 Lunaris_333
21 sep 2020
Day 1 of cat adoption can stay here? Th-thank you. lil just hideaway and not be a bother. One month later How dare you enter my realm, peasant! am the lord of the living room! Shower me with adoration or feel my wrath!
Cat on a cat - Cat on a cat
Theoneamigo Theoneamigo
25 sep 2020
Cat on a cat - Cat on a cat
Microsoft: Your license isn't genuine.
You may be a victim of software
counterfeiting.
Me:
am not in danger, Microsoft,
I am the danger.
Microsoft: Your license isn't genuine. You may be a victim of software counterfeiting. Me: am not in danger, Microsoft, I am the danger.
When you take your hot pocket out of the microwave but it's still cold in the middle
back in
AnHonestDick AnHonestDick
10 sep 2020
When you take your hot pocket out of the microwave but it's still cold in the middle back in
If your rice is too wet,
you fucked up
- Uncle Roger
2DrunkToTasteThisChicken 2DrunkToTasteThisChicken
24 sep 2020
If your rice is too wet, you fucked up - Uncle Roger
Forensic Files Narrator: "...and he left a bloody finger print on the door..."
Me: fucking idiot
Forensic Files Narrator: "...and he left a bloody finger print on the door..." Me: fucking idiot
He's hiding the indoor swings and I'M the child?
Why does he have so many collars? Secret dogs.
camsuar98 camsuar98
23 sep 2020
He's hiding the indoor swings and I'M the child? Why does he have so many collars? Secret dogs.
My only regret is not having a better camera to take pictures of Optimus - My only regret is not having a better camera to take pictures of Optimus
Thezinogre Thezinogre
26 sep 2020
My only regret is not having a better camera to take pictures of Optimus - My only regret is not having a better camera to take pictures of Optimus
Can't wait to be a father so I can randomly walk into my sons room and look at him like this
PiedPiper815 PiedPiper815
27 may
Can't wait to be a father so I can randomly walk into my sons room and look at him like this