donate to my kickstarter so i can build a time
1. get julius caesar addicted to hentai
2. seduce cleopatra
"oh but how will you seduce Cleopatra?" you
might ask because you're a moron. it's simple:
i'm 6'2” and i’m fat. fatness was considered
attractive back then because if you were fat,
that meant you were wealthy enough to get fat.
plus, 6’2" is unreasonably gigantically tall in the
so Cleopatra will be like "a giant? AND he's got
stretch marks?" and she'll instantly become
infatuated with my rotund, hairy body
then i will live in royalty for the rest of my days.
kickstarter backers will have their names
written in my tomb, baffling archaeologists for
centuries to come.
My favorite part of this is that OP didn’t feel the
need to explain how he'd get Julius Caesar
addicted to hentai.