Can't wait to be a father so can randomly walk into my sons room and look at him like this
if
bendoverd bendoverd
14 oct 2020
Can't wait to be a father so can randomly walk into my sons room and look at him like this if
I dated a guy with the same name as my brother and when we had sex I refused to moan his name so I moaned his gamertag
AM - Twitter Web Client
Meth Meth
18 nov 2020
I dated a guy with the same name as my brother and when we had sex I refused to moan his name so I moaned his gamertag AM - Twitter Web Client
The perfect cosplay doesn't exis..
Tostito_Memes Tostito_Memes
13 mar
The perfect cosplay doesn't exis..
'This Here Is Probably Our Bestselling Love
Seat,' Says Man Who Would Have Been
Powerful, Revered Warrior 4,000 Years Ago
+ SEE MORE: LOCAL
The man who would have spilled the innards of any rival warlord that did not prostrate himself at his feet confirmed that the love seat came with
two accent pillows.
BrysonTiller BrysonTiller
31 dec 2020
'This Here Is Probably Our Bestselling Love Seat,' Says Man Who Would Have Been Powerful, Revered Warrior 4,000 Years Ago + SEE MORE: LOCAL The man who would have spilled the innards of any rival warlord that did not prostrate himself at his feet confirmed that the love seat came with two accent pillows.
It finally came in! - It finally came in!
iwannafuckRey iwannafuckRey
29 sep 2020
It finally came in! - It finally came in!
When you catch your partner sniffing another dog's butt
WHITE_G00DMAN WHITE_G00DMAN
28 sep 2020
When you catch your partner sniffing another dog's butt
AM THE GREAT WHITE WOLE TERROR OF y A
. =
i_not_funnywhyy i_not_funnywhyy
9 sep 2020
AM THE GREAT WHITE WOLE TERROR OF y A . =
If it pleases you kind Sir may I ask for just one more treat?
Morgan Morgan
24 sep 2020
If it pleases you kind Sir may I ask for just one more treat?
Good morning to everyone except
Grandpa Joe, who sat in bed for 20 years and let his family wallow in poverty but hopped up like a motherfucker to go to damn candy factory
dannyboi323 dannyboi323
17 dec 2020
Good morning to everyone except Grandpa Joe, who sat in bed for 20 years and let his family wallow in poverty but hopped up like a motherfucker to go to damn candy factory
Me: *finally dies*
Satan: "So, how was hell?"
Me:
fuckina knew it
lj129016 lj129016
28 dec 2020
Me: *finally dies* Satan: "So, how was hell?" Me: fuckina knew it
That' the
Another rerun on Bob, the Food ChgnneI
GGain.
OldAbnInf OldAbnInf
26 sep 2020
That' the Another rerun on Bob, the Food ChgnneI GGain.
When the song starts with woman moaning
NO
No, Rob Zombie, id an Instrument
SlanderAndCalumny SlanderAndCalumny
8 jan 2021
When the song starts with woman moaning NO No, Rob Zombie, id an Instrument
We are Disney.
Lower your shields and surrender your ships.
We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own.
Your culture will adapt to service us.
Resistance is futile.
Scatty, I need warp speed now or we're all dead!
Sulu, get us out of here!
NCC1701_D NCC1701_D
27 sep 2020
We are Disney. Lower your shields and surrender your ships. We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own. Your culture will adapt to service us. Resistance is futile. Scatty, I need warp speed now or we're all dead! Sulu, get us out of here!
When my parents get cancer and die infront of my eyes but I realise I finally got a
good backstory for
America's got talent
When my parents get cancer and die infront of my eyes but I realise I finally got a good backstory for America's got talent
Government: You need to be 21 to drink
Military when someone is 18:
Hi kids! Do you like violence?
StarWarstheory StarWarstheory
3 aug 2020
Government: You need to be 21 to drink Military when someone is 18: Hi kids! Do you like violence?
Reporter: So Fred, you're 97! What's your secret?
Fred: I sucked a cock for a watch once.
Reporter: I meant secret of your longevity.
Fred: Oh! Fruits and vegetables.
Reporter: So Fred, you're 97! What's your secret? Fred: I sucked a cock for a watch once. Reporter: I meant secret of your longevity. Fred: Oh! Fruits and vegetables.
Me getting a Thank You email after I just paid a bill...
Fuck you!
Me getting a Thank You email after I just paid a bill... Fuck you!
Friend: How did your first camping trip as a family go?
Me:
WIFE STABS HUSBAND WITH SQUIRREL
NaheemGaming NaheemGaming
2 jun
Friend: How did your first camping trip as a family go? Me: WIFE STABS HUSBAND WITH SQUIRREL
I am black tea
AR I am green tea
You....reading this you are a cute-tea
Hex_Maniac Hex_Maniac
25 sep 2020
I am black tea AR I am green tea You....reading this you are a cute-tea