Be like the sloth. Take things slow & good things will come to you. Grab life by the heart.
lilepicmemeon lilepicmemeon
23 oct 2020
Be like the sloth. Take things slow & good things will come to you. Grab life by the heart.
The doctor informs Ernie that his testicle cannot be reattached.
The doctor informs Ernie that his testicle cannot be reattached.
When she sends a nude and it looks like Chewbacca got shot in the face
DaddyWolf78 DaddyWolf78
7 oct 2020
When she sends a nude and it looks like Chewbacca got shot in the face
When you show someone something you're really proud of and they say "cool" and change the subject
When you show someone something you're really proud of and they say "cool" and change the subject
Her: What you wanna eat?
Me:
QUABBELS QUABBELS
26 mar
Her: What you wanna eat? Me:
The Babylon Bee
@TheBabylonBee
The Simpsons Will Now Only Use
Voice Actors Who Permanently
Dye Their Skin Yellow
BabylonBee BabylonBee
24 feb
The Babylon Bee @TheBabylonBee The Simpsons Will Now Only Use Voice Actors Who Permanently Dye Their Skin Yellow
You may be a man, but you'll never be this man.
La
m_o_n_k_e m_o_n_k_e
2 jun
You may be a man, but you'll never be this man. La
Me, sitting at the children's table during a
family party
You don't fuckin' know shit about Pokemon
eddro96 eddro96
8d
Me, sitting at the children's table during a family party You don't fuckin' know shit about Pokemon
I one-time-i-dreamt
The Independent
Climate change fight should be 'sexy' and 'fun',
Japan's new environment minister says
W-what?
Bi treocseasona
Let the man speak
I one-time-i-dreamt The Independent Climate change fight should be 'sexy' and 'fun', Japan's new environment minister says W-what? Bi treocseasona Let the man speak
*me rereading my own tweet every time someone likes it*
noon_husband noon_husband
3 jan 2021
*me rereading my own tweet every time someone likes it*
francheyes francheyes
27 sep 2020
Smart ass dogs
Forensic Files Narrator: "...and he left a bloody finger print on the door..."
Me: fucking idiot
Forensic Files Narrator: "...and he left a bloody finger print on the door..." Me: fucking idiot
"How many hoes you got?"
Me:
Intoxicating Intoxicating
26 feb
"How many hoes you got?" Me:
You have stumbled across a sleepin doggo.
Take a break, get a drink, make some food. - You have stumbled across a sleepin doggo. Take a break, get a drink, make some food.
You have stumbled across a sleepin doggo. Take a break, get a drink, make some food. - You have stumbled across a sleepin doggo. Take a break, get a drink, make some food.
Marry a short gal and keep your guns on the top shelf
She still might get ya, but you'll hear her dragging the chair across the floor
Marry a short gal and keep your guns on the top shelf She still might get ya, but you'll hear her dragging the chair across the floor
Using Mind Control to Drive a Car
82 lakh views 2 years ago
3.8 lakh 2.7K Share Download Save
8 months ago
Imagine a kid jumps on the road and you go
"oh shit a kid" and the car goes even faster
kennugly kennugly
9 feb
Using Mind Control to Drive a Car 82 lakh views 2 years ago 3.8 lakh 2.7K Share Download Save 8 months ago Imagine a kid jumps on the road and you go "oh shit a kid" and the car goes even faster
MACOMBDAILY.COM
Man tells police he stole food truck because he's a
'dumbass'
AcceptableCasualties AcceptableCasualties
26 jul 2020
MACOMBDAILY.COM Man tells police he stole food truck because he's a 'dumbass'
Leo Selvaggio
A PERSON WEARING A FULL-FACE PROSTHETIC MASK TO EVADE CCTV AND FACIAL RECOGNITION.
francheyes francheyes
19 nov 2020
Leo Selvaggio A PERSON WEARING A FULL-FACE PROSTHETIC MASK TO EVADE CCTV AND FACIAL RECOGNITION.
If anyone sees me at the beach this summer, mind your own business. I ate a lot of bread over the past 12 months.
1blondie 1blondie
14 apr
If anyone sees me at the beach this summer, mind your own business. I ate a lot of bread over the past 12 months.
When you've done your fake laugh 2 times and they still keep talking
When you've done your fake laugh 2 times and they still keep talking
Female NPCs wondering I keep scrolling up while holding the CTRL key
Bacardi Bacardi
24 nov 2020
Female NPCs wondering I keep scrolling up while holding the CTRL key