• as
You're suppose to yell
I play golf. I never "fore!" but I was too busy
got a hole-in-one mumbling "There ain't no
but I did hit a guy. way that's gonna hit him."
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  • 399 comments

    • Mitch Hedberg is one of those comedians where it’s all in the delivery and everything he says is fucking awesome
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    • I used to like Mitch Hedberg. I still do, but I used to, too
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    • I used to do drugs. I still do, but i used to too
      MrBlack 8 jul
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    • I don’t have a girlfriend. I just know a girl who’d be really mad if she heard me say that.
      derkski 8 jul
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    • Is a hippopotamus really a hippopotamus or a really cool opotamus?
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    • "I used to do Drugs, I still do, but I used to, too." -Mitch Hedberg
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    • "I'm against picketing but I don't know how to show it."
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    • God I miss Mitch
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    • Gone too soon Mitch. He had two albums, strategic grill locations and Mitch it all together. The second one is probably my favorite comedy album ever, sadly OD before he made anything else. If anyone was wondering his name is mitch hedberg.
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    • "WHERE ARE THE DUFREIGNS?"
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    • I still think the Pringle’s initial intention was to make tennis balls! But the day the rubber was supposed to show up a truck load of potatos came instead. And Pringles is a laid back company they said “fuck it cut em up!”
      wizaki21 8 jul
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    • Holy shit a Mitch Hedberg meme!! Dude is the GOD of one liners....if there is a god lol
      MoFarr 8 jul
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    • I remixed a remix, and it was back to normal.
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    • Mitch hedberg, steven wright, and demitri martin are the kings of short jokes.
      gorbla 8 jul
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    • "I once drove around for two hours with the emergency brake on. Now, that doesn't say a lot about me, but it REALLY doesn't say a lot for the EMERGENCY BRAKE. More like an emergency-make-the-car-smell-funny-lever."
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    • "I like Kit Kats unless I'm with four or more people."
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    • "You wear a turtleneck and a backpack it's like a tiny midget is trying to bring you down!"
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    • Escalators can never be broken, they can only temporarily become stairs.
      Bowler8 8 jul
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    • Mitch Hedberg everybody. Idk why he's so funny because his jokes are so corny but he's fucking hilarious
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    • Sometimes I walk into target and they say "can I help you" I say "no thanks im just practicin"
      brubruh 8 jul
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    • I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling; I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle
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    • 17 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • “I got an ant farm, them fellas didn’t grow shit” -Mitch Hedberg
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    • You’re not really getting thw Mitch Hedberg experience unless you look him up on YouTube. A lot of his comedy really does come from his tone and delivery, which doesn’t come across well in a caption format like this
      minionQ 8 jul
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    • RIP Mitch
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    • Rip mitch. Plus way better one liners to quote him on.
      THUNT 8 jul
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    • Salownsu 9 jul
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    • Mitch hedberg was one of my favorites
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    • RIP Mitch Headburg you were one of the greats.
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    • Me who had to read the whole thing again to notice the joke
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    • This man was gonna go far in life :( Rip Mitch
      Nudables 8 jul
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    • I once got 3 Hole-In-Ones in a row in Mini Golf 😎
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    • 6 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Mitch Hedberg is the 🐐
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    • Escalators can never break, they can only become stairs.
      KOmedic 9 jul
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    • "If i had a vest and someone cut my arms off it would be a jacket"
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    • I almost hit a duck last time I went golfing
      Inquire 8 jul
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    • Fun fact bout Mitch was he had crazy stage fright so he wore sunglasses like every show, worked out tho cause it became his thing. Funny dude
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    • My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said no but I want a regular banana later so yes.
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    • 1 like = 0 push ups, 0 pushup max. Also, I won't post them either. Help me get fit, guys!
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    • 4 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • currently taking a doosh at 5 am cause i ate while laying down...
      SL1mmy_7 8 jul
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    • “Dammit Otto! You have Lupus!”
      Sphaera 10 jul
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    • I have a stepladder, I never knew my real one.
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    • I did this same scenario with a gun one time
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    • 3 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or a really cool opotamus
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    • Never heard of hedberg but I read this on ozzy osbourne's voice and I did not regret that
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    • Anybody else say it in his voice
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    • Mitch is still one of the greats
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    • “First, second” fuck off
      lenny76 8 jul
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    • God tier comedian
      Hjalti 9 jul
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    • Once when I was playing golf with my dad we ran into the group in front of us when they were mid way through the hole and my dad told me go ahead and tea off, I said "but what if I hit those guys" he fucking told me he'd buy me a new golf set if I did. Didnt even get close, fml
      PI77A 8 jul
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    • i love mitch hedberg
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    • A BURRITO IS A SLEEPIN’ BAG FOR GROUND BEEF!
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    • RIP to a great
      jkromes 8 jul
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    • Autauga 8 jul
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    • I tired making sprite at home. I used like and lemon. There’s more to it than that 😂😂😂
      MINKY 9 jul
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    • One like one push up blah blah blah what the hell ever
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    • Kibly 8 jul
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    • I've been getting top comment a lot lately how many more before im ifunny famous
      MDAWG00 8 jul
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    • First
      Jstebs 8 jul
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    • he od'd? lmao he deserved to fucking die fucking drug addict.
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    • That's not funny. Good thing he's dead.
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    • Doug Stanhope is awesome
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    • I was like 9 and straight up Happy Gilmored a ball. My mom was amazed with how far it went.. until it beaned an old guy in the head.. he was down for the count.
      iCODMEMES 11 jul
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    • "The store was out of candles, so I bought a cake."
      Gooter 11 jul
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    • Rip
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    • I have bad sunburn, help
      RIPTI 11 jul
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    • that's why you yell fore
      jaeare 10 jul
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    • That's like firing a gun while someone is down range, the odds of you hitting them are low, but zero is better than one
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    • Rice is good when you're hungry and want 2000 of something
      nashdawg 10 jul
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    • Haha joe dirt do a funny
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    • I live with a golf course in my backyard. I was swimming with my friend and when we finished swimming I hear this one golfer yell “hEeLp” I’m obviously confused so I ask if they heard that and they said “Yeah, they said fore” I said “that’s a weird ass fucking way to say fore” and went on with my da
      loofalee 10 jul
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    • My sister got a concussion because she got hit with a tennis ball, what a pussy.
      MrMachete 10 jul
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    • RIP to the greatest
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    • My mom fucked mitch hedberg
      Taz37 10 jul
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    • Mitch was hilarious RIP
      Ragnaroks 10 jul
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    • You shall be missed Saint Mitch.
      larrm 10 jul
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    • Miss him!!
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    • Damn I’m sad Mitch is dead
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    • “This is not a library. Okay, then I will speak louder then!”
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    • RIP to one of the best to ever do it
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    • “Either someone left their hat on that table, or that table is just really fucking hip”
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    • I almost got a hole in one. Lipped around the cup. Shot for shit the rest of the course.
      skipjerk 9 jul
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    • Legend
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    • My friend had a frozen banana and he asked me if I wanted it. I said no but then realized I would want a banana later so I said yea
      yvm2 9 jul
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    • I don’t have a girlfriend. I just know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that. - Mitch Hedberg
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    • My uncle is a very skiIIed golfer and he almost kiIIed a woman. Luckily, the windshield on her golf cart saved her
      callias 9 jul
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    • I once walked into my room and saw a sheet on the ground and thought a ghost had died
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    • RIP. Mitch. Man this dude is legendary
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    • I tried to walk into target, but I missed.
      brubruh 9 jul
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    • How do you feel about frilly tooth picks?
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    • Mitch hedberg was really funny. It's a shame he passed. "I used to do drugs. I still do em, but I used to, too"
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    • Do not schedule an appointment with Dr. Acula
      PIaph 9 jul
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    • Anyone else think that was Ozzy Osborne?
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    • .
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    • An escalator can never break down, it can only become stairs. You’ll never see a sign saying escalator temporarily out of order. Only escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience
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