Army Doctor: Okay, just do this
short obstacle course for me
1960s soldier who's just been dosed with 5000 hits of acid:
Lay
SlanderAndCalumny SlanderAndCalumny
5 dec 2020
Army Doctor: Okay, just do this short obstacle course for me 1960s soldier who's just been dosed with 5000 hits of acid: Lay
GF: Wears my hoodie everyday
Me: Wears her bra everyday
Me:
We're even bitch.
Meth Meth
28 nov 2020
GF: Wears my hoodie everyday Me: Wears her bra everyday Me: We're even bitch.
My cat: "escapes"
My cat a week later:
memzy memzy
24 sep 2020
My cat: "escapes" My cat a week later:
Men's nodding
Hey, man, what's up?
UP NOD
Hey, I need to
talk to you
MAN'S RIGHT NOD
Yo, man, check this girl out!
MAN'S LEFT NOD
DOWN NOD
Greetings sir. You have my respect
DeepWebIntel DeepWebIntel
13 apr
Men's nodding Hey, man, what's up? UP NOD Hey, I need to talk to you MAN'S RIGHT NOD Yo, man, check this girl out! MAN'S LEFT NOD DOWN NOD Greetings sir. You have my respect
ASI LAY ME DOWN TO SLEEP.
ANY MINUTE [LL FALL DEEP
MY HUMAN WENT TO TAKES PEE,
NOW THE BED BELONGS TO ME.
AMEN.
Unown_TG Unown_TG
22 sep 2020
ASI LAY ME DOWN TO SLEEP. ANY MINUTE [LL FALL DEEP MY HUMAN WENT TO TAKES PEE, NOW THE BED BELONGS TO ME. AMEN.
if earth aren't is we crushed' round, winy aren't we crushed' when it rolls?
down
TheAwkward1 TheAwkward1
16 dec 2020
if earth aren't is we crushed' round, winy aren't we crushed' when it rolls? down
Coma
Bikini Baristas Have Taken Over the
Pacific Northwest
oat
that_withoutmods_2 that_withoutmods_2
6 jan 2021
Coma Bikini Baristas Have Taken Over the Pacific Northwest oat
When your girlfriend says you can get a
PSS over her dead body:
Me
My Girlfriend
Really? Tears?
GameStop Cashier
They're not for him...
_Knightmare_ _Knightmare_
25 sep 2020
When your girlfriend says you can get a PSS over her dead body: Me My Girlfriend Really? Tears? GameStop Cashier They're not for him...
Tweet
Buck
@a_nogr
Olive Garden gave me a spoon for
my spaghetti
PM - 26 Sep 20 Twitter for Android
KentuckyFriedColonel KentuckyFriedColonel
26 sep 2020
Tweet Buck @a_nogr Olive Garden gave me a spoon for my spaghetti PM - 26 Sep 20 Twitter for Android
When you flush the toilet
and the water starts rising
KingIDK KingIDK
22 jun
When you flush the toilet and the water starts rising
This is a Weiner Retriever, just like your mom
@TwunkTheTwink
CarsonArnold CarsonArnold
22 jun
This is a Weiner Retriever, just like your mom @TwunkTheTwink
ROT-WEILER
'THE GIANT OF HELLHOUNDS, GIVES A WEW MEAMING TO "DOGGY
'TEMDENCY TO LOSE BODY PARTS AND EAT OTHER DOGS,
Heller97 Heller97
25 sep 2020
ROT-WEILER 'THE GIANT OF HELLHOUNDS, GIVES A WEW MEAMING TO "DOGGY 'TEMDENCY TO LOSE BODY PARTS AND EAT OTHER DOGS,
When someone thinks I'm not picking up on their passive aggression and snide remarks but they're actually only one snotty-ass comment away from receiving my 40 + years of pent up rage
crimsonrose91 crimsonrose91
22 jun
When someone thinks I'm not picking up on their passive aggression and snide remarks but they're actually only one snotty-ass comment away from receiving my 40 + years of pent up rage
When the Burger King employee yells order
66 and you see a 3 year old holding a toy
lightsaber
Good soldiers follow orders.
iammachine iammachine
7 jan 2021
When the Burger King employee yells order 66 and you see a 3 year old holding a toy lightsaber Good soldiers follow orders.
Do y'all ever get pre-annoyed? Like you already know someone is about to piss you off.
MishkaMushkaMickeyMouse MishkaMushkaMickeyMouse
5 nov 2020
Do y'all ever get pre-annoyed? Like you already know someone is about to piss you off.
HighlandBanjo HighlandBanjo
24 sep 2020
ON' HAT LIKE LooK' cone! AN
Hitting a PR without spotter
Laadies Laadies
15 apr
Hitting a PR without spotter
When you smell a certain type of alcohol and it reminds you of a time you almost died
Cz
sugondeeze sugondeeze
13 oct 2020
When you smell a certain type of alcohol and it reminds you of a time you almost died Cz
MY DANDY SAYS
YOU SHOMLUNT.TEACH THE ABET,
GUT YOU ALINAYS CHOKE ON THE
MY DANDY SAYS YOU SHOMLUNT.TEACH THE ABET, GUT YOU ALINAYS CHOKE ON THE
My computer watching me struggle to select all the boxes with traffic lights
bitchpudden49 bitchpudden49
23 sep 2020
My computer watching me struggle to select all the boxes with traffic lights