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    • *Me in the grave pretending to be dead so I don't have to go in to work*
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    • "Im going to need you to come in at 9am tomorrow"
      Izuri 24 jul
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    • "I know you're dead and all, but if you cant get a doctors note dont bother coming in tomorrow at all"
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    • Just went to memorial for a retired co-worker. He worked and help build this small business(100 employees) for 27 years. Niether owner or a company representative came. "What have you done for me lately."
      hawl 24 jul
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    • My first deployment I went on when I was in the Marine Corps. I had a jury summon. My dad called them up to tell them I was deployed for that time. The lady told him “he needs to come in to cancel.”. My Dad: “he is literally at war and in Afghanistan.” The lady: “he still needs to come in.”
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    • One of my 2 servers called in last night for today's shift, and my boss never told any of us nor did he look for coverage. At work now and shortstaffed.
      KiefBowl 28 jul
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    • Y’all remember when the NFL made us think they were gonna play Sweet Victory but cock slapped us with sicko mode?
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    • You still coming in?
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    • not_funny 25 jul
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    • Corporate Rule #5: you cannot die until you train your replacement
      JDISME 24 jul
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    • Don't work yourself to death; your job will be posted before your obituary.
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    • “He hehehe, No dentist appointment for this guy.”
      _Panos_ 24 jul
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    • "Hey so uhh, i know youre dead and all but we could really use someone to pick up Jeff's shift tomorrow"
      MangoJuul 24 jul
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    • I had a boss that would being her 2 kids and husband in if she had to cover any shift. Then she would complain about having to get her whole family out of bed. Like bitch it's huddle House, yeah we get you want to spend time with your family and all but it's an 11pm 7am shift. Grow up, do your job
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    • My old boss once tried to call me in while I was literally vomiting while on the phone with him because of the stomach flu that I caught from him!
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    • Anakin_S 25 jul
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    • Boss- “god damnit will somebody get me a Ouija board?!?’
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    • If he would have just scheduled Time Lost 2 weeks before, it would have been fine.
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    • Bosses: put 3 people on the schedule Also bosses: man we are understaffed
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    • Me like right now
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    • I can’t wait till I quit my shitty job
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    • Capitalism be like that sometimes.
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    • “did you get your shift covered?”
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    • Boss: *contacts my spirit via ouija board* “so can you come over to work today?”
      OKKid 24 jul
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    • Boss: so inconsiderate of you to die
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    • "You still coming in, right?"
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    • My dipshit manager schedules me on days that I was approved for time off, and when I dont come in she's angry as fuck but cant touch me because it was approved lmao
      rightflap 24 jul
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    • PorkSword 24 jul
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    • I remember one week at my old job I pissed my boss off and he cut my hours because he doesn’t like confrontation. Either way, they ended up being understaffed the whole week, making them behind every night that week, all because he didn’t want to call me in and give me hours.
      PotatoRP 24 jul
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    • Me: [Actually dead for real] Boss: Can you still come in today?
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    • Hey I know this is a personal matter but right now I need you to come in today
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    • Did you get a doctors note?
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    • And yet the boss is at the funeral instead of helping the other employees
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    • Get back to work mr. squidward
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    • We are so understaffed at work that if two people on the same shift take the day off or are sick they pretty much have to call someone in to work a double or just do the best and quit early and it really sucks when the only person on 3rd shift calls in
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    • It do be like this
      Mac_32 25 jul
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    • “Were you able to get someone to cover your shift?”
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    • Need to call out? Tell them you have anal glaucoma. You just can't see your ass going into work.
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    • As a manager I can totally relate
      zmarkus 24 jul
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    • This is why I quit retail. I know not everyone can but I'm lucky I was able to.
      WoJiaoYi 24 jul
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    • “This is coming outta your pay”
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    • content not available more
      Leaf 24 jul
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    • Don't worry your job will be posted before your obituary
      vontar 24 jul
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    • My b***h of a manager would not do this. She'd just start yelling at the casket about how she'll 'remember this come raise time'
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    • Had my GM say to a girl yesterday that if she wasn’t going to be in the room as her sister was giving birth, she ought to just keep working her shift and see the baby later...
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    • Boss: You are fired. You didn't call to report that you weren't coming. Enjoy the afterlife tho.
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    • I swear, everywhere you go, they come at you with that "I need you here because we're understaffed" if you try to call out. It feels like jobs NEVER have enough people.
      iKelex 24 jul
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    • Why didn’t you come in today? Well, ya see, I got in an accident and died. Thats no excuse! One more fuck up and you’re outta here.
      Tunechi 24 jul
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    • Bosses be like you can still make it to work today right?
      trigod3 24 jul
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    • Lmao I've been working at this place since february and I haven't directly given my boss my number or a means of contact and I'm leaving in like a month for college so I will have never been asked to come in on my days off. I'm so blessed.
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    • Jesus
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    • Retail be like that sometimes.
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    • *rises from the grave outta guilt and goes in for my shift*
      Spark443 25 jul
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    • THIS. Well that and sitting on his phone on Facebook while bitching that we're going too slow and giving dirty looks while you take your legally allowed break. Can't imagine why I walked.
      Zodwraith 25 jul
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    • If you could go ahead and come in Sunday too that’d be greeeaaaatttt
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    • “You’re still getting a point for this”
      almighty1 25 jul
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    • "get back to work Squidward"
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    • Me: dies. Boss:why are you late?
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    • I received this same guilt trip when I put in my two weeks' notice at my last job.
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    • “Someone called in sick and I need you to fill in”
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    • You're still coming in right?
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    • For some reason I thought this was like a mafia boss and read it in a Italian accent
      UwUtarou 24 jul
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    • If they're understaffed why is he at the funeral and not working
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    • “You should have given me a 2 week notice”
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    • If you’re always understaffed just hire MORE DAMN WORKERS
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    • Yo fr tho I got fired from Target a few days ago cuz I had to call out after my mom had a severe allergic reaction and had to be driven to ER... that’s retail for ya
      YeeHaww 24 jul
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    • Like, mfs are absent all the time but when I do it once a year, I am the problem.
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    • If we're that understaffed why are you at my funeral
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    • Day I left for boot camp. Boss: hey we need you to come in. Me: I can't, I'm busy today and I have to go to bootcamp. Boss: Just do it later. Me: I literally can't, see you in 3 months. Boss: if you don't come in today you're fired. Me: *recruiter's number* call my boss.
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    • This is honestly how they are at my mom's work
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    • Boss should be at work if they’re understaffed. What a dog
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    • I used to work at a fast food place and one time i called out sick due to the flu while they were understaffed. They got really salty and reduced the amount of days i was supposed to be scheduled
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    • My brother had a job and his boss told him that he is never allowed to have a weekend off, even if he was dying, and she was serious as fuck
      Courtnya 24 jul
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    • This is the USPS. You'd call in because you're hurting hella and they'd be like, but then we don't have anyone to deliver your route
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    • Uh are you still good to come in today.
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    • Well hes not there either
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    • “Why didn’t you come in to work today?”
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    • Bout to get a ouija board and ask if I can still come in
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    • content not available more
      iFappy 24 jul
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    • I’ve gotten asked to come in countless times but I never do cause my work contract entitles me to two days off, fortunately
      Theo 28 jul
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    • Burn his time card so his zombie doesn’t come for his final paycheck
      Arallos 27 jul
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    • Me: *Rises* Then get back to work, BAKA
      Zardogan 27 jul
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    • Seems about right
      ImSquiffy 26 jul
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    • My coworker rolled her ankle before her shift and it swelled to the size of a large melon. She had picture proof that she sent our scheduler who, after SEEING it, still wanted her to come in. When my coworker said no and that she couldn't walk on it, our scheduler got pissed.
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    • “Have you finished those errands?”
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    • My boss, also my best friend, died 2 months ago... i miss him...
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    • Yet he never think to go in and help himself
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    • So can you work tomorrow?
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    • Meshellllll
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    • My boss selling my souls for 62 cents
      ODogX 25 jul
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    • Bro can you close tonight? We’re understaffed and I can’t think of anyone else to do it
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