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    • 580 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • This was kinda odd and cringey to read.
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    • content not available more
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    • Look at bio
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    • Buddy he can snap his fingers and erase you from the time space continuum, no one would even know you ever existed, because you didn't.
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    • Never realized the tactical appilcations
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    • Holy shit, a BAC of 1.00
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    • Prof X: Holy shit! Jesus: Holy genius!
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    • Jesus, at his crucifixion: "I have an ARMY OF ANGELS waiting on my command. This is happening because I ALLOW it."
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    • I gotta say, comic books would probably sell a lot better if, in the middle of every battle, the enemy were suddenly roaring drunk.
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    • Jesus can turn water into wine, I can make your girl into mine
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    • Wtf does anyone actually know how much of a human is water? Last I heard it was 80% now it's 60%? I think y'all are just making shit up like the whole "Humans only use 10% of their brain bullshit."
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    • True
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    • Jesus sounds like an SCP to me..
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    • That sounds like a magneto recruitment
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    • Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • "tis a scratch"
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    • Jesus can be scary af
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    • Try crying about it some more, sorry you can't deal with the fact it's not as clever as you think
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    • "You're in!"
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    • Weird flex but ok
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    • 70% water 30% suicidal
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    • I mean he can blind people for a certain amount of days, control the earth, multiply objects, resurrect himself, and forgive you no Matter what.
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    • Ohh fuck
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    • Oh
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    • There was an animation of this on youtube. I'm sure it's still there.
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    • 70% motherfucker
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    • Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Turn that poop into wine
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    • New quirk added.
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    • John : 21 : 17 - He saith unto him the third time, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me? Peter was grieved because he said unto him the third time, Lovest thou me? And he said unto him, Lord, thou knowest all things; 👈thou knowest that I love thee. Jesus saith unto him, Feed my sheep.
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    • Jesus is obviously a support class
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    • You could use the alcohol as fuel
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    • Fun fact humans are 99% water molecules. The 70% is by volume
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    • Blood alchohol content: Yes
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    • Why water benders are the most powerful.
      JamX 10d
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    • This man is now 60% wine.
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    • Yeah this is why i want to be a hydro/cryopath
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    • Actually it's 72. 27759 percent water
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    • You would be so drunk you wouldn’t feel a think
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    • Jesus op?
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    • Prof x doesn’t need security guards
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    • Oh god, I never thought of that
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    • I didn’t think about that, reminds me of a book I listened to where someone dies by getting their blood turned into water
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    • *Starts drinking the red liquids leaking out the body*
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    • DAAAAMN JESUS!
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    • 60 liquid not h20
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    • I never understood why nobody thinks jesus was a mutant in the xmen part of the marvel world
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    • Jesus's abilities were overrated and distorted by time, he couldn't walk on water, he was just really good at ice skating
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    • Drink from the guard the lord hath given thee
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    • Omega level mutant
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    • Jesus can ruin somebodies sobriety test lmao.
      Feak 11d
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    • I just said jesus to myself after reading that and then immediately regretted it
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    • He also found the glitch that lets you walk on water
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    • Hold up why the fuck does Jesus gotta try out for the X-men he’s fucking Jesus
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    • Creeper
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    • Just because the math is wrong fuck you and I dont like it
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    • Dude literally created everyone and everything around you
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    • Plus Jesus is a stance user
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    • This is some FMA type shit
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    • So drunk he died
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    • Jesus loves you
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    • 70% dumbass learn your biology
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    • 70% shitlord
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    • "I can also walk on water...or you know, land for that matter"
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    • He can also swim on land
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    • Jesus licks the dick, and it ain’t no trick. If the dick is thick, he’ll give it a pick.
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    • I can also walk on water, heal any ailment, raise the dead, and am regeneratively immortal.
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    • Aqua man op
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    • 70%, not 60
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    • When he become anti christ
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    • Ok, WHAT KINDA SITUATION ARE YOU IN?
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    • Since wine is Jesus blood I guess it just wasn't the right type of blood
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    • Mm
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    • 3 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • If he were real and he fell down having 60% of the water in his body turn to wine then I wonder what the effect was on his wife when her wine senses tingled
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    • 70% but ok
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    • You guys need to go back to bible class and learn about what Jesus actually did
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    • Lmao lemme try this!!
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    • Remember romans and noons jesus could have wiped yall out but chose not to you are truley blessed
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    • Why do professor x and jesus need to get past security gaurds
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    • Now drink his body fluids
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    • Kik in bio, rats my dick
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    • Wait until he finds out about jellyfish
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    • Jesus is an Omega level mutant.
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    • So I said "oh Jesus fuck" while reading this, and then redoubled with even more laughter. This was a good experience, ty for meme.
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    • *police talking* "this guy has a 100% alcohol level...how is this possible doctor"
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    • Man his victims would die drunk af
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    • My children... You have neglected to consider one thing... I'm packing.
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    • Is that you on your profile pic
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    • 72% to be exact
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    • Hah
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    • How'd u like die? Turn my blood into whine
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    • Couldn’t he just make you stupid drunk on command then?
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    • Full moon water benders are OP
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