"A hot dog is not a sandwich." The crowd murmurs in general agreement.
"In fact.....Itis a taco." The crowd forms into an angry mob as I am forcibly carried towards the guillotine.
ladefuckingda ladefuckingda
24 sep 2020
"A hot dog is not a sandwich." The crowd murmurs in general agreement. "In fact.....Itis a taco." The crowd forms into an angry mob as I am forcibly carried towards the guillotine.
WHEN YOU SEE A MEME SO STUPID
IT MAKES YOUR FACE HURT
KingPeasant KingPeasant
21 sep 2020
WHEN YOU SEE A MEME SO STUPID IT MAKES YOUR FACE HURT
When your owner yells at you for scratching them but you see a fly on the wall
Oh no
Anyway
PlagueDoctorofHorny PlagueDoctorofHorny
24 sep 2020
When your owner yells at you for scratching them but you see a fly on the wall Oh no Anyway
Don't have anything too funny so here is my dog Waylon - Don't have anything too funny so here is my dog Waylon
ryan_gosling ryan_gosling
21 sep 2020
Don't have anything too funny so here is my dog Waylon - Don't have anything too funny so here is my dog Waylon
When you're trying to sleep after getting called sir at GameStop
00 a.m,
When you're trying to sleep after getting called sir at GameStop 00 a.m,
Teacher: You can do this in groups of 3!
The fourth homie:
I walk a lonely road
JoseJalapeno JoseJalapeno
5 nov 2020
Teacher: You can do this in groups of 3! The fourth homie: I walk a lonely road
The British when the signs says MPH
instead of crumpets per stabbing:
[ge
The British when the signs says MPH instead of crumpets per stabbing: [ge
My poor French teacher today was talking about the word "cell phone" and how in
German the word for cell phone translates to handy..... which led to
Professor: Isn't that so cute!? The word handy is just adorable. Like why don't we say that in
English.
One brave Student: .....because it's slang for a handjob
Professor: *visibly looses five years off his life* why are you Americans like this.
My poor French teacher today was talking about the word "cell phone" and how in German the word for cell phone translates to handy..... which led to Professor: Isn't that so cute!? The word handy is just adorable. Like why don't we say that in English. One brave Student: .....because it's slang for a handjob Professor: *visibly looses five years off his life* why are you Americans like this.
When you find out someone is brainwashed by a different form of media than the one that brainwashed you
Kymm Kymm
13 oct 2020
When you find out someone is brainwashed by a different form of media than the one that brainwashed you
You know what they say about girls with big titties right?
" @steppen_Wolfe -
Replying to @SweetLizzyy
That ya have to wear deodorant under your boobs
The One @jr2nd2none - v
Replying to @SweetLizzyy and @foreignnaomii
Yeah, back problems
67 Re 15
HippoPotaMistress HippoPotaMistress
18 nov 2020
You know what they say about girls with big titties right? " @steppen_Wolfe - Replying to @SweetLizzyy That ya have to wear deodorant under your boobs The One @jr2nd2none - v Replying to @SweetLizzyy and @foreignnaomii Yeah, back problems 67 Re 15
thinking abt the tiger who cracked her tooth chewing on toys so they gave her a gold one....
The hardest drip in the animal kingdom
11 Aug 20 Twitter for Android
AlmostShttyMemes AlmostShttyMemes
22 sep 2020
thinking abt the tiger who cracked her tooth chewing on toys so they gave her a gold one.... The hardest drip in the animal kingdom 11 Aug 20 Twitter for Android
When someone out of your league starts flirting with you
Jo3Jo3Sr Jo3Jo3Sr
25 may
When someone out of your league starts flirting with you
I am black tea
AR I am green tea
You....reading this you are a cute-tea
Hex_Maniac Hex_Maniac
25 sep 2020
I am black tea AR I am green tea You....reading this you are a cute-tea
Me after spraying the spider in the corner with bug killer.
SpareParts SpareParts
14 oct 2020
Me after spraying the spider in the corner with bug killer.
Dad: *pumping gas*
Mom: The smell of this gas is giving me a headache
Me in the back seat:
TheBoss420 TheBoss420
5 mar
Dad: *pumping gas* Mom: The smell of this gas is giving me a headache Me in the back seat:
james
there's no way my cat knows his actual name. i've given him like 10 new nicknames today alone. i just called him my sweet bowl of cheese and he was like ya iam
DrPepperOffical DrPepperOffical
20 sep 2020
james there's no way my cat knows his actual name. i've given him like 10 new nicknames today alone. i just called him my sweet bowl of cheese and he was like ya iam
Here, hold my dignity.
have some sketchy things to do!
Here, hold my dignity. have some sketchy things to do!
Humans in 2020:
"The worst year to date."
Dogs in 2020:
"OH MY!
I can't believe my humans have chosen to stay with me, rather than going to work.
We snuggle, go for walks & get extra treats.
THIS IS THE BEST YEAR EVER!"
unicornfucker
21 sep 2020
Humans in 2020: "The worst year to date." Dogs in 2020: "OH MY! I can't believe my humans have chosen to stay with me, rather than going to work. We snuggle, go for walks & get extra treats. THIS IS THE BEST YEAR EVER!"