• a good thing about having friends with kids is that you can just sow the
seeds for something that you'll never need to address again. like tonight
my friend's three year old saw me eating blue com chips.
kid: what are you eating from that basket?
me: triangles.
kid: can i have triangles?
me: dunno, did you brush teeth yet?
kid: no
me: mhm, and are you okay with screaming really loud?
me: yeah, sometimes these make you scream really loud, are you ok with
that?
kid: i am not afraid of screaming.
me: you're very brave. you can have two triangles. then why don't you go
show your dad your new power, i gotta go. Fee ated
op
u
live up to ur username
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  • 164 comments

    • The kid was probably like: "hey dad! I can eat these triangles without screaming!" His dad was probably like: "that's great, bud."
      rogen80 30 jul
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    • I read this like 3 times because I thought she meant INVOLUNTARY screaming. Like if you eat the wrong chip, you just uncontrollably screech. The way it's phrased with "sometimes" sounds like he was brave to risk random chip-induced yowling.
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    • My coworkers four year old is convinced that hamburgers come from hammerhead sharks. Nobody told him this he just assumed that
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    • One time my friends kids asked me was thunder was. I told them the clouds are clumsy sometimes and they run into each other making a loud noise. Then the kids started running into eachother on purpose and laughing because they are clouds.
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    • I would love to scream at people in public and just see the sheer shock on their face
      loBarmba 30 jul
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    • Except kids do this crap all on their own so the dad probably didn't think much of it. Also kids are super honest and will rat you out in 2 seconds
      tweb 30 jul
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    • Kids take what you say literally I told my daughter to “knock over” her blocks and she looked at me for a second then gently knocked on them and before punching it over. Once we were out and she had to poop and I said “can you hold it in?” Now she thinks she need to put her hands on her butthole
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    • My older brother told me Lbs (pounds) was short for ‘labels’ and nobody told me that was wrong till like fifth grade but it was like a foundational truth I stood on as a little kid so now it’s kinda just drilled into my head
      luhFella 30 jul
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    • I just... I can see my wife doing this... she has this app. We have blue tortilla chips... please take this down.. don’t do this to me
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    • Then the parents go months saying "I dont know where he gets that from" and ome day OP will be there talking to him about it and they're like "IT WAS YOU"
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    • My little brother told me he was scared of a monster being under his bed and I told him well yeah there is everyone has one they sleep under there to protect you. There's monsters everywhere and they help us the garbage disposals a monster who eats our trash but don't stick your hand in there
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    • Bruh thinks he's clever, but I know how to deal with kids when they randomly start doing fucky shit. "Whyre you doing that? Oh really? Now whered you learn that from? Dunno? Well go get icecream tomorrow if ya tell. Oh really now? Thanks, imma go smack his face, don't scream anymore or no icecream."
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    • Mmmmmmm triangles
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    • Wait no fuck you guys it was supposed to be burried
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    • Is it sad I don't get it at all
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    • Anyone know how I can change the color of my campfire?
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    • content not available more
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    • Good I'm early this will get burried. There's not a better fuck than immediate family and if you disagree you're lying to yourself.
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    • I convinced my nephews that when they pray, they need to scream for god to hear them. My catholic sister does not approve.
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    • zzz tumblr
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    • Single best thing about being an uncle. Niece walks in seeing me slam a 5 hour energy after I finish a 24 hour shift. She asks if she can have one. I look around to make sure her parents don't see, she slams one back, I pat her wee little head and skeedaddle before the oncoming storm
      Poker454 1 aug
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    • Whats the deal with blue tortilla chips?
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    • I told my gfs little sister about chicken trees. Basically they grow a seed which is ground to make chicken nuggets. Which being a plant makes chicken nuggets 100% vegan. We have the whole family in on it.
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    • My favorite thing to tell kids is that I can turn invisible, but only when nobody is looking at me. They always say “prove it” and I’m like “ok look away” and then they don’t know what to do. Hilarious every time.
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    • I do stuff like this with my nieces and nephews. My siblings every time, ‘...thanks auntie...’ 🤣
      ladyelwin 31 jul
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    • Ohhh, you are competing against me in the art of tricks eh? Well come and try it pissy boy
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    • Told my niece that winnie the pooh’s mom name was poonany
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    • Idk man, if I bite into a blue triangle and it jams itself between my teeth and into my gums I kinda want to scream really loud
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    • tricktster
      extraasf 31 jul
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    • Why does the kid scream?
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    • The word trickster look weird to anyone else?
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    • Real quick question, blue corn chips?
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    • Damn, eat earlier
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    • I do stuff like this with my younger cousins. It's like a family tradition that nobody knows the origin of but all of the younger kids in my family learn the phrase "go fuck yourself" by the age of 4.
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    • Blue corn chips?
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    • When My sister told my niece that she was pregnant and she'll have a new brother my niece thought it was because her dad gave my sister a mango and that's how the baby grew. Should of seen her face next time he brought home mangos LMAO
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    • You really do have to be indifferent towards your kids at moments like these like what do you even do if your kid eats a chip then starts screaming randomly
      spursftw 30 jul
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    • I mean he’s not wrong if you bite the chip wrong and it slams into your gums you may perhaps cry out in pain
      BobaFett_ 30 jul
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    • I had a stroke reading that first paragraph
      JoeMamo 30 jul
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    • What...? What are blue corn chips? Why scream?
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    • The trick to pulling something like this off is you need to be 100% confident, and serious. Kids will trust your authority and placebo themselves into almost anything, but if you waver they'll see it. Then the ball's in their court
      Chuckl 30 jul
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    • I wanted to do things like this but i grew up really gullible and i later realize i was an idiot and i dont want the smaller humans to feel the same
      dest 30 jul
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    • Why do these people always screenshot the stupid reaction, like, “oh op you’re so funny, your username is soooooo accurate. Let me get on my knees and suck your clit”
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    • I am not afraid of screaming
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    • My mom doesn't like her twin sister (because she is white trash and a horrible person) but anyway, when my cousin turned 3, my mom got him a bunch of toy instruments to annoy the shit out of my aunt. Child protective services have taken my cousin away from her for now but she still wants custody.
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    • I thought he was threatening to kidnap the kid
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    • I thought it said “having kids with friends” the whole time lol
      Smitty517 30 jul
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    • I thought he meant the chips would be spicy or something
      Nytrobomb 30 jul
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    • Roober 30 jul
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    • Kidd
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    • I misread the first sentence as "a good thing about having kids with kids" and I was very concerned for a moment
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    • Imagine having kids
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    • Once told a kid I was babysitting that the frozen chicken in the fridge was my cat that recently died. She had asked where it was when we were looking for something to eat and I panicked. The next time she came over she ran to the fridge and hugged the chicken. Her mother was very confused.
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    • Dick move😂😂😂
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    • I'm surprised it the lack of reaction image. Its tumblr so still shit but that deserves a few bonus points
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    • Yes
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    • Ha
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    • Okay lol
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