• 3 biggest-gaudiest-patronuses
sweet fuck vampires are pale b/c they’re
anemic
etheawkwardchlmera
Did you onlyjust realize this? They also suck
blood because they cant get vitamin d from sun
exposure.
:39biggest-gaudiest-patronuses
take a multivitamin you melodramatic Victorian
appropriating eternal dumbasses
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    • Maybe that’s what they do nowadays tell me when was the last time you heard of a vampire attack on the news
      alevin 3 jun
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    • Vampires are actually based on a real disease called porphyria which is caused by your body’s inability to make healthy heme, an important component of hemoglobin. It also causes gums to recede from your teeth and your skin to blister in the sun. You’re welcome.
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    • Actually a genetic disease that causes low hemoglobin/ iron deficiency. Also causes them to burn very easily in the sun. And they tend to have receded gums giving them the appearance of large cannine teeth. And best part is, you “could” drink blood if you had this to stave the effects
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    • I thought it was because they’re fucking dead
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    • I don’t think the writer of Dracula was aware of vitamin d since it was the 19th century
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    • Fucking a vampire sould be safe because they can't come inside without asking
      36_24_36 3 jun
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    • vampires can only shop at walmart because its open 24 hours
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    • Yeah what a dumbass not know why they are pale haha *internally straining to remember what the fuck anemic means*
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    • They're pale af because they cant go out in the sun and they suck blood because they're fucking vampires you fucking lunatics
      sturges 3 jun
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    • bitch they’re pale because they can’t go out in the sunlight dumbass
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    • Story of vampire not liking blood and has a human friend that brings him vitamins so they can live
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    • So what you're saying is that being anemic and lacking vitamin d is the key to eternal life?
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    • What happens if a vampire sucks your dick? Does it go flaccid from blood loss or does it stay hard due to the blood flowing to my meat? I don’t fucking know.
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    • Fuck off tumblr
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    • Count can suck my vitamin D all day baby
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    • Vampires aren’t real
      MrSix 3 jun
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    • Or maybe, just maybe, they’re pale because that’s how people made the stories up. Because they’re fake.
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    • Maybe cuz blood has iron in it and too much iron makes you sick and pale. Idk sounds right
      AL16 3 jun
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    • I don’t remember where I heard this but vampires did exist but they werent actually monsters they were just people with a rare skin disease that made them blister in the sun easily. It’s like that with a lot of monsters and myths, just stuff people didn’t have the scientific knowledge to comprehend.
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    • Maybe they're pale because they're fucking dead
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    • Yes a multivitamin, let the 16 century vampires just pop into there friendly local Wal-Mart for the fucking vitamins
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    • I assumed it was because they're undead and spent god knows how long living in the shadows.
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    • Vampires are already dead, therefore they cannot make blood and must replenish their supply by consuming it
      Liag 3 jun
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    • Ever heard of a blood potion from Skyrim?
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    • It’s based off of porphyria look it up
      Carve 3 jun
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    • Yes supernatural being I shall justify things about you with science!
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    • But blood tastes goooooood. Don’t tell me what I can and can’t do
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    • Except that’s not true. They drink blood because they are unable to produce hemoglobin for their blood cells. The incomplete hemoglobin is also super reactive in sunlight which is why they blister in the sun.
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    • a·ne·mi·a /əˈnēmēə/ noun: anaemia a condition marked by a deficiency of red blood cells or of hemoglobin in the blood, resulting in pallor and weariness
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    • Tumblr gay now top comment
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    • There aren't anymore vampires nowadays because everyone has STDs
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    • What are you guys talking about? Oh wait, I’m thinking of umpires
      MrJack 8 jun
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    • NotCorey 8 jun
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    • content not available more
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    • HAMON
      imnotok 6 jun
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    • "appropriating" fffffuckoff
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    • They drink blood cause they have no blood
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    • From now on, everything time I see a reddit post I’m going to close this app until the next feature set
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    • O-or maybe they don’t exist so it doesn’t matter?
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    • Or maybe it's cuz they have literally no blood on their bodies
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    • They can’t take vitamins because their livers don’t work
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    • Vampires are very old and never grew up with medication like that. That is why they still choose to suck blood. Nobody likes change.
      V_ortekz 4 jun
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    • who the fuck is biggest-Gaudiest-patronuses and why the fuck are they featured so much?
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    • Maybe vampires are pale because they're DEAD???
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    • So that’s why I eat the entire bottle of Flintstone gummies at once...
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    • how can you be anemic if all you do is drink blood fuckheads.
      7400 4 jun
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    • Oxygen is essential for brain operation and muscular control, vampires drink blood because they don’t have a heart to pump their own blood, so they get oxygenated blood from another source.
      Woolvz 3 jun
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    • Wow, who tf cares
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    • youngso 3 jun
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    • They can just drink milk. Fuckin idiots
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    • Oh gah leave the tumbler. If I want tumbler I’ll get a tumbler
      jujujar 3 jun
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    • Some of you guys need therapy holy shit lol
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    • Or it's because when the first vampire was created, in order to maintain its eternal life after it had already died, it needed to take from people the thing that sustains life. Our blood.
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    • They’re pale because it’s spooky literally shut the fuck up tumblr
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    • I thought it was cause their dead? Am I dumb? These fake creatures are dead right?
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    • Aight time to bust out the Flintstones vitamin gummies
      TheSpoi 3 jun
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    • Vampires are really necrophiliac cannibals. So are the dumbasses that fantasize about them.
      gatom0 3 jun
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    • “Victorian appropriating?”
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    • Vampires aren't pale because they DON'T FUCKING EXIST
      Diceman 3 jun
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    • content not available more
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    • content not available more
      JHerm 3 jun
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    • They are pale because they are DEAD
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    • You don't have to call us out like that...just let us suck blood and be happy
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    • Anemic? Reply to answer plz
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    • I think aids might have been the culprit for their extinction.
      Mycaruba 3 jun
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    • Maybe its cuz they have lupus?
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    • content not available more
      Feyrez 3 jun
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    • Suzuha 3 jun
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    • They’re pale because they’re undead
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    • content not available more
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    • They’re pale and suck blood because they’re a dead body at the specific part of decomposition where internal organs melt down with blood and leak out the mouth nose and eyes, skin shrinks making teeth and nails seem bigger and skin blackens in the light.
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    • Or they’re pale because they can’t go out in the sun, not because they’re anemic?? Fuckin idiots
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    • Shut the fuck up retard
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    • I just assumed they were albino because they never got enough sun, and they never went out into the sun because they were albino. Its a stupid fucking circle concept but no this makes WAY more sense
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    • I thought its because they cant go in the sun...
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    • Doesn’t blood have iron in it....
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    • Imagine being this pathetic
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    • Hentai56 3 jun
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    • I wanna kill myself for this but, you can suck my vitamin D if you know what I mean
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    • Or maybe they're pale because of a lack of UV radiation, which causes coloration by essentially cooking your skin, and they're not anaemic because blood is rich in iron.
      uckoff 3 jun
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    • I thought they were pale because they were dead
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    • Considering dracula was written way before we knew anaemia and vitamins existed, I think thats probably false.
      Altarios 3 jun
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    • Ancient vampires fed on souls to sustain their immortality (the ancients believed the blood was a catalyst for the soul)
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    • Fun fact: vampires were actually inspired by tuberculosis which in those days they called “consumption.” As it usually wiped out entire families they believed that previous family members that had died from it were coming back from the dead and feeding on their loved ones.
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    • Vampires dont suck blood... They scrape and lick.
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    • That’s not true but ok
      3019 3 jun
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    • Can someone please remove that filthy cars fucking TC?
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    • Also note that they didn’t appear in mirrors back in the day because mirrors used to be backed in silver, a pure metal. Most nowadays are backed in aluminum, so vampires could be among us and you’d never know.
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    • Haha lol so funny
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    • If I’m being honest.....i don’t think I understand any words in this
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    • Niggas
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    • KingKobe 3 jun
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    • Take a Flintstone vitamin you Prince of darkness
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    • Diva cup would fix everything
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    • Gimme 4 likes and anyone who likes can dm me for nudes uwu
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