• Last night I was walking a few yards
behind a woman on my way home.
At one point she picks up the pace.
so I began walking faster as well.
Suddenly she starts running, so I did
the same. Then she started
screaming, so I did the same. I don‘t
know what we're running from, but
goddamn. Iwas scared as hell!
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    • She was scared of smelling like Old Spice
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    • The woman turns around and sees this
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    • I like how you know they took it off Google because they didn't get rid of the X
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    • If you are ever as a guy in this situation just pretend to have a phone call and put on the gayest voice you can. No one is scared of a gay dude
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    • this was a joke made by John Mulaney in his very early years except he was in a subway in the joke
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    • Funny, but seriously imagine Terry Crews running at you full speed screaming...
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    • That’s a John mulaney joke.
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    • I hate people stealing John Mulaney Jokes. And they are always changed just a little bit, to sound original
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    • Terry crews is the one person I can see this actually happening to
      phoenix56 30 may
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    • If Terry crews was walking behind me, I would feel SO safe. Not only is he ripped, he's a family man, a upstanding citizen, a role model, and also has extensive training in firearms and martial arts for acting roles. 100% sure if anything bad happens he would know what to do.
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    • I legit feel mad uncomfortable being behind a female walking. Like I know it’s in their heads that I’m a possible danger. I always just try to pass them up if I can or just go across the street
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    • John Mulaney
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    • Ok John Mulaney
      tonic12 30 may
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    • I’m a 25 yr old white dude. I walk fast. 9 minute mile fast. I scare the shit out of people late at night when I hop off the subway and I’m gaining on someone in a poorly lit sidewalk. I still do it cause I think it’s hilarious.
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    • John Mulaney wants to know your location
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    • Oh hey a stolen John Mulaney joke
      just_liz 31 may
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    • She couldnt handle the crews crew
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    • “What are we running from?” “AH”
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    • this is literally a john mulaney skit
      OnePaig 30 may
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    • Insert John mulaney. Wait everyone knows who he is now
      FawnCena 30 may
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    • I can totally see Terry crews doing that
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    • Did you copy john mullanys homework?
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    • When Terry Crews steals a John Mulaney joke and thinks nobody will notice
      roxxxxx 2 jun
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    • No that's John Mulany right there
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    • Seriously stole this joke from John Mullaney what a bitch
      N_I_ 31 may
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    • Isn't this a John Mulaney joke?
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    • Old joke. John mulaney and Michael Jr. have both told similar stories
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    • John mulaney had this joke in a standup
      Dooberton 30 may
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    • John mulany
      Citicus 30 may
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    • *runs past her screaming*
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    • i dont wanna meet the man that Terry crews fears
      RenWeb 31 may
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    • Who doesn’t know terry crews?
      jeebz 30 may
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    • John Mulaney?
      captdaddy 30 may
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    • Terry crews fuckin stole a John Mulaney joke?! Wtf
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    • 6 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Real original buddy. John Mulaney did it better.
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    • Terry crews...can we officially nominate him, Hugh jackman, ryan renolds and robert downey jr. For awards for being the most lovable men?
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    • 5 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Copied this joke from john mulaney 4 years prior
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    • I hate walking behind people. I’m just trying to get past and they hear my footsteps and look back like I’m some kind of crazy person. Like bitch move I just want to go home
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    • I wonder how many people realize that guys get nervous if they just so happen to be walking behind a girl at night because they're just taking the same path.
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    • 5 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • He ripped that from John mulaney
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    • This was stolen from a comedian named Michael JR. Go check him out he is hilarious and clean.
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    • John Mulaney said it first
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    • I'd like to imagine this happened before but the guy ran past her shouting things like HAHA IM FASTER YOU WONT BEAT ME as she mumbles what the fuck in confusion
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    • John Mulaney, nice try.
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    • People cite examples like this as indicators of how scary it is for women in the world. I don’t give a fuck if you’re male, female, or a fucking furry. If someone is walking behind you in the middle of the night there’s no happy thoughts
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    • I like the other iteration of the joke: I was starting to catch up with her, but I thought to myself, No! Whatever back there gonna get her! So I called up to her "Is that as fast as you can run?"
      Bran666 30 may
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    • Sounds like a John Mulaney skit to me
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    • If this is real he stole it from John mulaney
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    • Funny joke totally not stolen from John Mulaney
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    • Yay, funny joke. Totally not stolen
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    • My dad was falsely accused of unarmed assault cause he was walking down the sidewalk, drunk, and this women threw her purse at him cause she was "feeling threatened" and was FUCKING WALKING IN A BAD NEIGHBORHOOD AT 3 AM. In my dad's state of delirium he forgot to hand her back her purse.
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    • Ripoff from John mulaney
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    • Isn’t this a joke from John Mulaney or Dimitri Martin
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    • I mean on one hand she had a literal building right behind her so I understand
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    • I read this whole thing with out reading the name once i did i starred diying laughing
      bbcool04 30 may
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    • If I saw Terry Crews walking behind me at 2 am in a dark subway, I'd slow down😏
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    • John mulaney
      Pattar95 30 may
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    • Terry crews is a God among men
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    • Out of the 2 of them, the only one who was actually a rape victim was Terry.
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    • And I just say no matter what race you are what gender you are if you were Terry crews size i'm fucking scared
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    • Who watermarks someone else’s tweet
      AnEgg 30 may
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    • John mulaney how long you have multiple personalities
      gtfu 30 may
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    • Someone tag John Mulaney
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    • I’ve seen this repeated word for word by so many different people, but the original is John Mulaney
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    • Another joke stolen from John Mulaney
      TGIVAN1 30 may
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    • This is a john malany joke
      tpagzz 4 jun
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    • Never thought I'd see Terry Crews steal John Mulaney's bit
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    • Imagen this woman and muscular black guy chasing I’d honestly faint
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    • Self awareness = 0
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    • Girls are always in such a hurry to judge people and run away to play the victim card. Like girl chill ain't nobody even lookin at you.
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    • This is a Michael Jr joke
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    • Terry shouldn’t have to lie just to run and scream. We all know he likes doing both.
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    • John mulaney did the same bit on one of his standup specials
      leonydis 31 may
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    • Pretty much a John Mulaney joke tho right?
      weeb0420 31 may
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    • I've had shit like that happen and I'm not a scary looking guy at all I weigh 150 fucking pounds, women are just terrified of dumb shit
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    • My dear is that an x water mark say from a screenshot of safari?
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    • I like John Mulanney too
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    • Lmao yo this shit funny
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    • When you get stuck behind a girl, so you cant speed up or stay at the pace... gotta take the l and cross the street.
      bal46264 30 may
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    • Demitri Martin’s joke
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    • Smells like John Mulaney
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    • John Mulaney
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    • Sounds like a mulaney joke
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    • By the way, anyone complaining about the fact that I just ripped this off Google images, you’re right, I posted it to win an argument, didn’t think this would happen
      Spl00ge3 30 may
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    • Who takes a screenshot of a tweet, calls it a meme, then place their watermark on it?
      Basilisk_ 30 may
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    • John Mulaney has a bit that's basically this
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    • I'd be running to if a 6'4 350 pound man of pure muscle was chasing me
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    • Haha I get it! She was running because he's black
      Qwilfish 30 may
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    • John mulaney???
      RettyBoy 30 may
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    • Just met him today
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    • This is a John Mulaney joke
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    • Maybe it was a tight 240 pound man running at her. (anyone get the reference?)
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    • This is copied of a John Mulaney piece known as `Chase Through the Subway.'
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    • isnt this a John Mulaney bit?
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