• "I have my garrison cap nice and pressed with
all the pins on the sides, so now it's time to
head out and get me some of that sweet
I-stormed-the-beach-at-Normandy snatch."
LOCAL.THEONION.COM
Shaven, Cologned Grandpa Heads Into Town
To Rake In D-Day Pussy
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    • Finna give them his D toDAY
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    • Some of yall take the onion seriously and it shows
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    • *every vagina in a 20 mile radius from this man*
      MrFate77 6 jun
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    • 11 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • 8 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Fuck yeah man he deserves it
      PI77A 7 jun
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    • HybridD 7 jun
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    • This vet be like
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    • That man destroyed the nazis, he sure as hell could destroy some poon
      7 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • This is the onion but you know this is exactly what went down
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    • The Onion has gotten sloppy. I remember the early days when you’d be skimming a random article and you’d read something ridiculous, and then, just before you turned to tell someone else, you’d look back and go, “Oh it’s The Onion. Fucking dicks.”
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    • 6 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • But fr imagine the puss you would get right after the war if you did that.
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    • Plot twist, the onion actually writes real articles, we just think they’re fake and laugh but they are very real. That reality is just too terrifying to fathom. It’s all part of the simulation
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    • 8 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • If you wouldn't suck him off you aren't a true American
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    • Why dis dude look like hank hills dad?
      JAK_X21 8 jun
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    • Nah this kind of stuff is legit. I work in a retirement home, and I literally had one of my retirees ask if I was allowed to date the residents and said we should go out some time. I'm 32
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    • He looks like he killed fiddy men.
      5 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Shaw357 7 jun
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    • Germany must give him their women as an apology
      4 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Its hank hills dad
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    • 4 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Is your pussy named Normandy? Because it's D-Day.
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    • Someone get this man a fine whore
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    • The Onion tells the truth now?
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    • Me: a wholesome article from The Onion. Whats the catch?...yeah there it is
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    • Shit I bet he was a handsome sumbitch in 1944
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    • He gonna get it, too 🥔👌👅
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    • It really is amazing how the onion is still knocking it out of the park with the comedy
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    • “They don’t call it D-day for nothing”-grandpa
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    • Desu 6 jun
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    • Spare coochie? Spare coochie, ma’am?
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    • He earned it.
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    • Looks like cotton off of King of the hill
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    • Fuckin hell the onion is great
      becrazed 8 jun
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    • X gon give it to ya Fuck wait for you to get it on your own X gon deliver to ya Knock knock, open up the door, it's real Wit the non-stop, pop pop and stainless steel Go hard gettin busy wit it But I got such a good heart I'll make a motherfucker wonder if he did it Damn right and I'll do it again
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    • He can have mine 😍😍😍 always wanted to meet a d-day veteran!!!
      amr12 7 jun
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    • This is my type of journalism.
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    • Godspeed sir, Godspeed
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    • My man
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    • Rip my gpaw Clyde he fought in D-Day took German grenade shrapnel to the chest and lived til long after the war
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    • Get it
      saytin 7 jun
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    • Those sluts better show some respect and spread their legs for that man. Otherwise I’m going to have to go down there myself and beat the shit out of them and hold them down so that hero can get his coochie
      FrelDen 7 jun
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    • Rush them beaches baby
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    • God speed sir, god speed
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    • If you know how soldiers think, this is totally believable.
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    • That's an overseas cover, not a garrison cap. The Onion not a credible news source confirmed
      Wulfe 6 jun
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    • To be fair he deserves it for what he had to go through that day
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    • They blew off his shins.
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    • Canned coochie
      The_KMT 6 jun
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    • And he earned it. He can grab America by the pussy
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    • Chad
      Vaprwave 6 jun
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    • I remember when I didn’t know that the onion was fale
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    • Let’s fuckin get it Grandpa
      KnuRvs 11 jun
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    • My man
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    • A true alpha male
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    • Well deserved
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    • Someone post the “because that’s what hero’s do”
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    • 2 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • The grandpa from king of the hill if he smiled
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    • Get your just desserts
      Tjxdgvsg 7 jun
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    • If girls don’t automatically get soak by this they’re communists
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    • Hey yeah buddy!
      Barleyy 7 jun
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    • Dont kid yourself, this man doesnt need the uniform to score pussy
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    • He looks just like the grandpa on king of the hill lol
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    • I'd do the same. First lap dance on me, gramps.
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    • Finally, someone who could beat Thanos singlehanded without the infinity gauntlet
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    • Darn right he is. He deserves it too!
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    • I mean if this was real I wouldn’t mind it
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    • He deserves it, thots throw him the cooch
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    • He killed fiddy men
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    • The onion is the only trustworthy news source
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    • 70 something years later still raking in the rewards of a job well done. You do you sir. You do you
      NOSQUIZ 6 jun
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    • Damn dude, save some pussy for the rest of us
      Imall469 6 jun
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    • Remember double D day
      Beta117 6 jun
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    • What a hero
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    • My grandpa died a few years back taking everything that happened to him on those beaches with him to the grave. He never spoke about it with us
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    • What are the odds his knee caps where shot off in nom?
      DumbPunk 6 jun
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    • POG CHAMP
      Alexxzxx 6 jun
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    • Good for him
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    • Something about "The Onion" gives me doubts that this is legitimate.
      Reign 6 jun
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    • Cotton?
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    • Hes still out there slayin
      Ranger431 10 jun
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    • He looks like he killed fiddy men that day
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    • “Y’all don’t do military discount? I guess I’ll take my business elsewhere!”
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    • I heard he came and went at the same time.
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    • Ultimate chad
      iFleecy 8 jun
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    • He deserves some puss
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    • It’s gonna be double-d day
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    • Bro probably has erectile dysfunction and ptsd
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    • Isn’t this the guy who got the speeding ticket
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    • This man should be gifted a good little hoe
      Obedd 7 jun
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    • Who else thought this was an ad
      Toulet 7 jun
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    • i mean this could be plausible, people dont know that old people lowkey fuckin like crazy
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    • Looks like creed
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    • Grandma don’t go outside
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