• Here's a tip
Carry a fork with you. If someone tries to rob
you, pull the fork out of your pocket and say
"thank you, Lord for this meal I'm about to
have" and charge at them with the fork
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  • 681 comments

    • Then die in a stupid way that gets memed for eternity
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    • And then you get shot
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    • Or, get this, carry a gun
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    • Sounds like a good way to get your dumb ass shot
      Cacaonut 7 jul
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    • Or just carry a gun
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    • *Gets shot*
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    • Too bad my future murderer is probably an ifunny user
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    • Or you know be responsible and carry a firearm
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    • "So i try to rob this guy right? He looks like he has a decent amount of money on him so i pull out my knife and back him into a corner. Then the guy pulls out a comically large fork."
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    • Yeah and then get shot
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    • Fork
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    • And then get pumped full of more lead than a sick man in the 1800s going to an unlicensed practitioner
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    • "This guy rushes me with a spoon..." energy
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    • Bro when you get mugged your best deal is to just do exactly as they say. And even then, it’s not guaranteed that they won’t sh00t you. There’s a high chance that they will, to prevent themselves from being caught if they let you go. Best thing to do is not walk around the streets at night
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    • FOOL!!! You brought a gun to a fork fight!! What a foolish notion!!!
      hietek 8 jul
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    • Fork You!... Sorry, that's not Knife... let's Spoon...
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    • Reddit momment
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    • 🤔🤔🤔actually, I’d fuckin run... you might be on to something sir
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    • Today on AMC's the walking dead
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    • Ok thanks I'll just pull out the fork i always have in my pocket, not like he has a gun or anything
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    • 👏 You 👏 Will 👏 Fucking 👏 Die
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    • Here's a little tip. If your instincts tell you to do something, don't do it. If you instincts tell you not to do something, IT'S PROBABLY THE RIGHT THING TO DO! Hahaa. Which movie?
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    • Illegal fork carriers are sentenced to forever alarm notifications.
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    • LORDPAPI 7 jul
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    • then you realize you live in britain so no metal utensils
      piss_ 7 jul
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    • How did this stupid shit get featured?
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    • 7 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • 1/10 Hisses in .50AE
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    • great way to get robbed harder
      CHOCLAT 7 jul
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    • A spoon is more threatening
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    • Dumb ways to die so many dumb ways to dieeee dumb ways to dieeieiee so many dumb ways to die~ Game name: Dumb ways to die
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    • The robber will die from cringe or realize you have no money just from you saying that, win win I guess
      ODogX 7 jul
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    • That should do the trick.
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    • Then your ass get shot
      Yatsuto 7 jul
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    • Heres a tip: Don't do that
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    • "So he pulled out a bigass spoon from his pocket, funniest shit I’ve ever seen"
      chopstew 7 jul
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    • Then get shot
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    • Thats how you get shot
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    • Next day the motherfucker was dead
      Dripjeet 7 jul
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    • Then have a clip unloaded into your chest...what a great idea
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    • You don't bring a fork to a gun fight.
      Sagic 7 jul
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    • "How to get stabbed because you think tumblr can offer any good advice"
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    • So qUiRKy
      Mac1634 7 jul
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    • And then they sh00t you. So improvise and start eating yourself while maintaining direct eye contact.
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    • Autauga 7 jul
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    • Cannibalism it is then
      Weird 7 jul
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    • I think I’ll stick with my gunsword.
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    • Or ya know. Help fix your community so you can prevent these things from happening
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    • When the dumb neck beards are talking about their knife collection and how they'd survive the end of the world with their 500lbs grease covered fat bodies while they cant even run a mile
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    • Then got shot or shanked, and then eaten by your own fork by the mugger
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    • Then put the fork in a portable microwave and throw it at a puddle to summon zues
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    • 2 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Connect fork
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    • and then they sh**t you
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    • Gonna go try this now, I’ll report back with my findings in a little bit
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    • cheeks1 7 jul
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    • If I read that right- CANABALISTIC
      fresh77 9 jul
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    • That used to be my background on my pfp. Now it’s just Pornhub Kids edition.
      Sxrko 7 jul
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    • it's just the tip
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    • Seems legit
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    • Actual child mentality.
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    • Do this except with a gun, and instead of charging them just dome yourself
      Danger5 7 jul
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    • *fork is stolen
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    • And get shot
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    • 50/50 chance you get shot, just saying.
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    • I get one tip, they get four
      Charkle 7 jul
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    • Street smarts!
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    • Jasmar09 7 jul
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    • Fork lives matter
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    • The best part about eating a person is the feet
      Tron70 7 jul
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    • Footage 7 jul
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    • Actually this may be GOOD ADVICE
      KiddMC 7 jul
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    • Honestly, I kinda want to try that....
      Byrdy 7 jul
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    • You want someone to unload an entire clip into you, because that's how you do it
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    • Robbers will usially just jump you without you even knowing, youll be walkin down the street, then suddenly get sucker punched...
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    • I carry a picture of Epicfail8686 with me
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    • Sweet
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    • I'm going to stick with my gun.
      r2clint2 10 jul
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    • You gotta say it like a borderlands psycho for added effect
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    • *results may vary if black or Hispanic*
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    • WTF?
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    • Instructions unclear, accidentally ate nagging wife
      tlivi367 10 jul
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    • Just pull a pitchfork out of nowhere and spear that bastard
      TNTNuke 10 jul
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    • Horrible idea
      Acog 10 jul
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    • John Mulaney
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    • Quite literally the fastest way to get shot
      nomnom4 10 jul
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    • Life hack: If getting mugged, pull out your firearm and send them to their maker. Then steal their shoes as a victory prize.
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    • The Robbers:
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    • Crazy for humans is like making yourself look bigger to an animal, crazy scares people
      assman69 9 jul
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    • And then get shot in the fucking face
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    • Unless they had a gun
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    • Thanks for the meal.
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    • Probe
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