• Me: I got bitten on my walk by a
Great Dane
Her: My God
imagine if it had
been a small child
Me: I could have fought off a small
child, Alice
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  • 435 comments

    • How many toddlers do you think you beat before you succumbed to exhaustion?
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    • A kid biting you and piercing skin is more dangerous than a Great Dane piercing skin
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    • The Virgin small child vs. the chad Great Dane
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    • My family has a great dane, and let me tell you, he is the biggest sweetheart you'll every meet. He just comes off as scary to new people because everything about him is BIG, from his body to his bark, he's a very impressive dog. He loves bouncing on our trampoline, and having his big ol head held
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    • Great daned are super timid tho
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    • A Great dane???? Highly unlikely
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    • I can take on about 120 babies at once 😎
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    • How many toddlers could you take out before being overrun?
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    • Now you're gonna turn into a furry
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    • Do I just not get the joke or is this just not funny
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    • @
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    • I have two Great Danes and I hate posts like this. They’re less likely to bite than most breeds but they’re BIG OH MY GOD LET’S ACT SCARED
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    • Pimp Great Dane
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    • Scooby dooby doo
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    • Damn he must have gotten a Dane mixed up with a pitbull
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    • Weak children
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    • What bro
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    • Just go look at my recent post to see some gruesome shit that happened to me. It's not porn so dont worry. It was a dog attack so yeah it's hard to fight those som bitchs off
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    • DogMan yay
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    • Great Danes are the most docile things in existence. If you provoke one to the point where it actually bites you, you deserve it
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    • This is totally fake a great Dane could never bite anybody ever
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    • Damn, this was so unfunny I actually frowned
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    • Come on Alice what’re you on about
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    • Fuck Ayn Rand
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    • You have to do something fucked up to get bitten by a dane
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    • Fun fact: a bite from a human that pierces the skin will almost always get infected.
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    • I have a great daniff he is a great dane bull mastiff and people are terrified of him for no reason... he is sweet he just gets really scared and barks at people. It is all about how you train the dog never about the dogs breed.
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    • I saw nothing wrong with this for too long
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    • I have a scar on my arm from when I was 8 and got bitten by a Great Dane
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    • Read it Great Dame and was very confused
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    • Bited*
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    • You were being walked by a great Dane?
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    • Is it bad that my first thought was a child biting him and not a great Dane biting a child?
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    • Ive been bitten by my friends great dane about an hour of having it wrapped up it stopped bleeding and he came by to say sorry and licked the wound but it proceeded to bleed again lmfao
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    • At what point does someone ask what if it was a small child
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    • Just break the dogs leg
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    • I’d rather get bitten by a large dog than any person. Human bites get infected really badly.
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    • Great Danes have weak jaws
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    • This is false! Great Danes are incapable of aggression. Observe the proof
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    • Never happened. Great Danes are lovers not biters.
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    • "Great Dane? More like.. gay" some angry Swedish person probably
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    • And that’s how this man became Scooby Doo
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    • That's honestly how I first took it
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    • A Great Dane will never just bite you
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    • Name a number I’ll double it
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    • Once told a girlfriend I was attacked by a pitbull she was all worried then pissed when I said it was a two month old puppy
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    • I too have been bitten by a horse
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    • The first time a dog bites someone in an aggressive manner, you put the dog down. No discussion. While dogs can be great companions, you’re absolutely off the shits if you hold an animal’s life higher than a human’s
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    • Hurt the child. Never ever even think about hurting the dog
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    • Goddamnit Alice
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    • Who thinks a great dane is scarier than a pitbull?
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    • great danes are sweet baby gentle giants you fuck GOOD DAY SIR
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    • You need to really screw up to piss off a dane to the point of biting.
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    • As if a Great Dane would even bother to bite you
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    • learn to spell.
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    • She's dropping a hint that: She wants a child, She's pregnant, or You're Pregnant.
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    • It took me five minutes to realise she meant the child would have gotten bit
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    • Let a kid bite me a I’m swinging they ass back inside they mama coochie hole
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    • Hey wait, I’m Alice
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    • You kiIIed that dog, 👍
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    • Let's go beat up some kids
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    • Finally, someone who doesn’t write ”could of” how is that a thing
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    • Gimme a bat and I could single handedly eradicate the toddler population of the world
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    • This is bad....... just lost my virginity last night and my mind went straight to that joke, didn’t even hesitate to think the small child being a victim
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    • Oh really, a small child would've went on a walk?
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    • I'd still give the dogs these hands if it came to attack me and blame the owner for not having control of their dog
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    • Wtf this nikka do to make that gudb0i that madd?
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    • Mmm yes since they cant make fun of pitbulls snymore they’re switching to great danes the most calm dogs
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    • I also got assaulted by a large Danish person one time
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    • About 5 right before I become morally exhausted upon my sins
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    • Great Danes are not aggressive at all...miss my dane.
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    • If you managed to piss off one of the most laid back dog breeds ever then you probably deserved it
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    • Is Alice a new Karen?
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    • Question1: would u fight off a dog if it was command to attack you? Question 2: would u fight off a dog if it was attacking your dog?
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    • As both top commentors I to missed the point at first. Then I used my brain
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    • Great danes dont bite people, people bite people
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    • Ngl I thought it was gonna lead into like he got bit by Dane Cook or something and he would then go on to not be funny
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    • Just adopted my first dog 2 weeks ago. She is a rescue great dane, and would never hurt anything. Never even heard her bark
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    • Don’t underestime the little fucks
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    • I fr got mailed by a great Dane and got sent to the ER when I was 8 so that kinda relates
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    • Every big dog I’ve been around wouldn’t hurt anyone without either a good reason or it’s rabid, big dogs are the best
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    • From experience if youre getting attacked dont run unless its 100% you can escape. They only have mouths, you can fight with every part of your body plus youre stronger and heavier. Assert dominance and juat fuckin haymaker a mutt if need be
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    • Love my great dane. he's laying next to me right now.
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