• If you’re trying to catch a housecat
that's gotten outside, don’t forget:
they’re an ambush predator and you’re
a persistence predator. You have
several times more endurance than
they do
-
use that to your advantage!
Don’t run after them; that’s playing to
the cat’s strengths, and vigorous
pursuit may cause them to hide.
Instead, follow them at a brisk walking
pace until they get tired and need to
have a lie-down, at which point you can
simply pick them up and take them
home.
a broke-broken-breaking
Ok but no shit this tactic is what
allowed humans to survive pre-
civilisation
Some mammoth: *chilling, eating grass,
mammothing*
Cavedude: *power walks towards them*
Mammoth: oh sIHT
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    • Cavemen: ight, I'm bout to hunt that mammoth
      Fushious 5 jun
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    • I can’t beat the shit out of you without getting closer
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    • oh you're approaching me?
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    • Imagine running at 70 mph in the African savannah, and you think you’re safe because that humans HELLA behind you, but then like 30 minutes later, there it is, so you run full speed again, and sure enough, there’s the human again. Must be terrifying
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    • Mammoth: mammothing
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    • "Every second you're not running im only getting closer"
      TXtaigan 9 jun
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    • I can say this from experience my cat got out a while ago and I walked behind that motherfucker for like 10 mins and eventually she just stopped and laid down so I picked her
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    • Not even joking if you tried to make any other animals run a marathon on foot they would drop dead before finishing.
      Zenith12 9 jun
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    • When my house cat gets outside, he only runs off a few feet before plopping himself in the grass because he doesn’t know what else to do outside
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    • that's why killers in horror movies walk so slow
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    • I just realized that most things get exhausted when they walk miles. Humanity's biggest punishment is sore ankles.
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    • This is why Michael Myers always gets ya
      Galactus 6 jun
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    • We have an incredibly amount of endurance because we are two legged and can sweat since we don’t have fur, but we also relied on tracking and basic tools to hunt and injure animals before catching and killing them, plus it was more of a jog than a walk
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    • 6 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • I can't beat the shit out of you without getting closer
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    • bkmtex 5 jun
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    • Mammoth: oh shIT
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    • Treats or opening a can of cat food works best
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    • 5 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • *Human starts power walking* Cat:
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    • Mammoth:*mammothing*
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    • Anyone who has a cat knows that little fucker will instantly go some place you cant reach or get to, doesnt matter if we can briskly walk a small marathon to get them
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    • Mamoth: OOOOH SHIT, A HUMAN *jimmies and jumps about whilst threatening to hit human*
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    • I can't beat the shit out of you without getting closer
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    • 4 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Jason Vorhees is a good example
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    • Until my bitchass cat goes under a car
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    • Okay but I used to be the only one in my house that could catch our dog when she got out because I’d do this. I was like “I can’t outrun her, so I’ll just walk towards her until she gives up.” Worked everytime.
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    • Just poison the cats water bowl with antifreeze and I guarantee it'll be a lot more easier to catch them.
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    • Bruh my cats will fucking hide in a thick bush or under something where I can’t reach and just chill there
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    • But whos gonna follow their cat for long enough that it needs a lay down? Motherfucker left home it can find it's own way back
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    • And if they run, spear them. They can't run if they're impaled and stuck in the ground.
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    • I honest to god do this with my cat all the time. She loves to run outside and sniff EVERYTHING as fast as possible. I just walk her down till she tires out and scoop her up and take her inside. She purrs the whole time. She’s a sweety I love her 😀
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    • Ohh fuck so Michael Myers had a point
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    • It’s called the Michael Myers theory
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    • BestBait 5 jun
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    • I think I may have gotten this exact post featured before
      Axel 5 jun
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    • bkmtex 5 jun
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    • Brooklyn 99 is the shit though
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    • Power walking won’t save me from being late to class like a full blown sprint across campus, ninja style.
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    • And that is how you win tag
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    • Aye yo any of yall remember power walking in elementary just cuz the teacher said no running?
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    • My cat just goes outside, sniffs around, then stares at everything around her while lying down.
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    • "mammothing"
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    • Seriously, why don’t we skip everywhere? It’s very fast and not very tiring.
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    • Is this why serial killers in movies always walk calmly towards their victims?
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    • Ight, I'll just learn how to powerwalk up a fuckin tree.
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    • Little known fact: power walking becomes inefficient if you try to do it at a running pace
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    • And if you can't catch them, put something familiar outside, like a food dish or a blanket of yours. Chances are they'll find their way back and wait near it for you to take them back inside.
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    • Unpopular opinion: you should sign your children up to a ninja school for the first 12 years of their lives. Then who’s paying the bills? Ninja boy that’s who
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    • Suddenly the Halloween movies make more sense.
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    • Is that why in horror movies the villains just slowly walk towards them instead of just charging? Not just for the fear factor, but because it’s way more efficient?
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    • Or just shake a treat bag real loud, they’ll hear the sound and come running like the little assholes they are. Then you can pick them up and yeet them back inside.
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    • We didnt walk, we jogged, and it took hours and required advanced tracking skills. You're not going to catch your cat by power walking to them...
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    • Yes but cats sprint at 30mph. Meaning they are going to be out of sight in about 20 seconds then you have no clue what direction to powerwalk in.
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    • 3 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • People in Africa still hunt like that
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    • To bad you cant power walk away from a bear
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    • In case you didn’t know; this is how the Kalahari Bushmen in Africa hunt. They just walk after the prey and once it’s tired out they just throw spears at it from (no joke) point blank.
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    • Yea shits real my dog escaped from our house because we left the gate open and she fucking dipped and I went after her every fucking time she saw me my dog dipped but after a like 20min of running she fucking plopped on the ground panting like crazy. I just walked up to her and picked her ass up.
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    • ((((Michael Myers V.S All His Kills))))
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    • You can catch rabbits this way pretty easily I've done it before. Humans are the best long distance runners in the world
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    • How do you think Jason and Michael catch people?
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    • Suprised at the lack of a jojo aproaching meme
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    • Yeah but then the cats hide under a porch so you are boned
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    • Fish: *chilling* Human: *Powerwalks towards fish* Fish: OhhHhH SHti
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    • Ho, you're approaching me?
      Jehovah 10 jun
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    • Also why murderous characters in horror movies tend to only walk after their victims. A scared victim is going to have adrenaline pumping, their decision making skills will be poor, and they will tire themselves out before Stabby ever does
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    • My cat is to lazy to do that🤣
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    • Bear happily existing, human begans to power walk towards it, it gets up and roars but the human gets closer and closer, the bear turns tail and runs but the human still comes, finally the bear reaches a dead end and is trapped, the human is right there, the bear shuts his eyes and cries, the human
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    • Haven’t seen Mammothing before but I can’t stop snickering because of it
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    • There's a tribe that still hunts like this ! There's a little doc on YouTube of them
      harpykid 7 jun
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    • there’s a book called “born to run” that explains how humans evolved to walk upright and have long term planning capabilities because we hunted by outlasting the animals we chased
      sagini 7 jun
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    • fuck vox
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    • there is a meme for every situation possible.. im convinced
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    • In this perfect world there are no fences, house roofs, or trees. Because cats climb fucking easily, and we don’t
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    • Humans are literally like the monster in It Follows.
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    • It worked for jojo Le Pew
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    • Is that why Jason Vorrhees always ends up catching people?
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    • Humans truly are terrifying
      MlemFox 6 jun
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    • Is "mammothing" a verb
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    • Yeah but cats go ape shit crazy it's not like they're just going to keep pace, plus they can jump to places we won't be able to get to, this would be wasting your time, just put cat food or something
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    • What happens when they bolt in the woods though and you can’t follow?
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    • Mammothing
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    • Yeah but cats can like climb walls, and trees, and fences much fastee than humans can . . .
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    • I mean, the mammoth probably could just walk up to the person and pummel the shit out of them
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    • When ur carnist friend gets hungry 😂
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    • I know dogs run too but my dog would never leave the place that feeds him
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    • Imagine being chased by a predator that never tires and it’s one desire is to kill you and consume your flesh.
      ELOCXVI 5 jun
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    • The reason we have such good endurance is because of a special muscle in our neck that keeps our head steady for long periods of time.
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    • HybridD 5 jun
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    • I love that we're so lazy as a society that no one realizes that we actually ran to survive. If you aren't out of shape, you can maintain a jog for hours on end.
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    • This would only work in a flat area with no place to hide or manoeuvre upwards. Cats have superior manoeuvrability and top speed. That would make it extremely hard to catch them without any preparation in for example an urban environment.
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    • Someone has that long ass tumblr post as to why humans were terrifying for doing this. Somebody please c
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