• 7-year-old: Can you buy me a goldfish?
IS
ls it too expensive?
Me: That's not the problem.
fou could buy me a silver fish.
RR
RA LADA
5-year-old: Can I have more candy?
Me: Itll make you sick.
5: It'll make me happy first.
E
LE so
lo you know what that is?
3-year-old: The moon!
SA
kids
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  • 917 comments

    • At least this stuff sounds like stuff kids would actually say and he’s not trying to pass his kids as poets and philosophers
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    • Way too many tweets for one post, but fuck y'all these are cute. People calling these fake are either bait or have never had children or younger siblings.
      Malluck 24 jun
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    • The 5 year old with princess tatoos
      Dukz 24 jun
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    • I actually liked reading this. If it’s true it’s just a wholesome kid being wholesome :) very nice
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    • Am I one of the only guys that’ll actually give back rubs and massages without being sexual?
      Moto_Gamz 24 jun
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    • So putting potatoes at the long posts is supposed to be an apology now? Well I accept it
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    • This was so nice and then the last image fucking ruined it
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    • Just imagine not allowing your daughter to draw on your eyeball, can't relate
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    • Am I the only one who’s hoping for a potato at the end while reading all of that?
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    • when my daughters were 2 and 4, i told them that if they didnt eat their food it would eat them when they slept. the 4 year old looks to the 2 year old, balling her eyes out, and tells her to eat cuz she didnt want to lose her.. evil and effective (for a few years anyway)
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    • Garbage. Anyone who reads all those needs to be castrated.
      kloonter 24 jun
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    • c_c_exe 24 jun
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    • Let's just all sit back and be glad we dont have kids
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    • then everyone clapped
      Haydan 24 jun
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    • 58 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Who liked and unliked this post an ungodly amount of times
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    • i feel like not a single person on this app actually sat down and read a book if this post is too much reading
      htx_kale 24 jun
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    • domtt 25 jun
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    • 21 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • To manny werds. Cam noot red.
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    • What the fu*k is the image at the end?
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    • TLDR: kids are fun and it’s cool watching them learn
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    • He’s an author of a parenting book. All makes sense now.
      _Amg 27 jun
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    • Arithmancy = Arithmetics. It's maths for wizzards.
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    • So now we posting whole ass Twitter accounts
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    • I stopped reading when one human called another human a muggle
      Dredgen 24 jun
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    • I love this.
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    • How does this kid get to be 2, 5, and 7 years old at the same time that’s not fair ima kick his ass
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    • I DONT DUCKING CARE IF YOU DONT IIKE THIS POST OR NOT. Just like it or dislike and go about your day. Also stop coming to the comment just to say mean stuff about how ur not reading or it’s to long. Cuz like I said earlier I DONT CARE. 😊
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    • You’re a moron if this is too much text for you lol
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    • Arithmancy is a class at Hogwarts thank you very much
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    • It was all funny but for sone reason the puddle one got me
      LizMarks 27 jun
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    • I stopped like halfway through but what I read was pretty cute
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    • See the thing is I don’t even know if this real because of how many people lie about this shit
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    • PorkSword 24 jun
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    • I actually read all of these lmao
      Sh1kamaru 25 jun
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    • I love my 3 kids
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    • PO-TA-TOES
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    • Guys I want a family so bad but I’m shy and can’t talk to girls. At least women can’t do the whole sperm bank thing if they want kids and aren’t married but single men can’t just adopt children they won’t let you
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    • Alot of these i have actually heard my younger sister (4 yrs old now) say before so ithought they were pretty funny
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    • I went out drink with a friend n when when we got back at his place his wife said “I lost track of her for like 10-15 mins, I am so sorry” his daughter took all of his Xbox games and scrubbed the wall with the play side facing the wall. They were all fucked.
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    • My 2 year old cousin cried because i wouldn't let him hold a huge knife and when he finally stopped trying and started to play he cried when i wouldn't let him push the dog in the pond ..... 2 year olds...
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    • Is that dude a fucking time travel or something? His kid age keeps changing
      Neoo 24 jun
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    • My little shit eating 7 year old niece called out my sister in law lmao. She (my sister in law) has a sign for her (niece) when she helps with dishes that reads “NO COOKIE PANS IN DISHWASHER” on the door. She goes “uncle dayday! It says “NO COOKIE PANS” but look! She LIED!” And proceeds to open the-
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    • I don’t understand number three, can someone please explain?
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    • Kids are assholes lol!
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    • Where do I dislike this meme
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    • Did this happen *pie chart* Majority blue with a small yellow wedge, reads No, But Also No
      Syluxion 25 jun
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    • The fuck does the Sunday one mean
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    • Then they fucked
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    • Did anyone actually read through it or did everyone just immediately scroll down to the comments like me?
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    • Tldr: yeah, me too. I ain't reading that shit
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    • I was gonna read them and then I checked after a couple and I'm not reading them all
      EvilKingL 24 jun
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    • Certified soy moment
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    • Mario Kart weeds out sore losers
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    • And not one of these things actually happened
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    • Man yall are helpless on this app
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    • 2 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • 3D Doritos were amazing!!
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    • Ughhhhhhhh
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    • I don’t understand the moon one. Someone explain?
      Bams2002 25 jun
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    • This is woman humor
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    • Patenting isn't hard. My friend has been working from home alone with his kid since covid. His wife is a DR. So is just him and the 2 year old. He told me women been lying, having it with the kids is the easiest, funnest, best shit ever.
      DirtyDog 24 jun
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    • I came here for memes not a fucking novel
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    • You really expect me to read all that shit?
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    • That is a lot reading I won’t do
      Rovert881 24 jun
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    • Then the whole village laughed and cried
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    • Jesus that was long
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    • 1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Still don't give a shit.
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    • No 7 year old knows about the value difference in between gold and silver. This is all fake!
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    • MidnightInParis
      Visit my profile for sexy pics 😛
      MidnightInParis 24 jun
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    • You really expect Gibby to read all of that
      RealGibby 24 jun
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    • These are all golden
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    • Obama shook your kids hand everyone clapped, right?
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    • Not reading all that
      bellapplz 26 jun
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    • Not reading that shut
      Flubnub3 26 jun
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    • Who the fuck is gonna want to read all that
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    • This is actually wholesome you bunch of neets
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    • Kids fucking suck
      iGooby 24 jun
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    • long ass post
      FurryPorn 24 jun
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    • Not funny. Way too long
      MatteoD 24 jun
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    • Let's be real, none of that actually happened
      theplace 28 jun
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    • James Breakwall talks to a suspicious amount of 5 year olds hmmmm
      Hentaio 7 jul
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    • I keep scrolling downwards but it kept going holy shit. Good thing i didn't commit to reading everything
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    • Even though I’m sure some of these are fake, I still like them
      ThatNut 27 jun
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    • SOrRy FoR tHe LoNg pOsT, HeRe’S a PoTaTo
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    • Hmm did I see MENACINGLY
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    • Isint this the guy that makes all these up?
      Fe26 27 jun
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    • content not available more
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    • Why do I have children? Less laundry I Have to do cause I’m at work
      Lemon77 27 jun
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    • i'm not reading all that
      fatdoink 27 jun
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