• once in kindergarten a girl asked me
to write "super girl" on her arm since
i was the only kid who could write so
i wrote "shit" on her arm and
i hid
under the table for like 30 minutes
then the teacher found me and yelled
at me then called my parents and my
dad laughed so hard he cried
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  • 663 comments

    • Your kindergarten class must have been dumb as shit I was already reading and writing at that point
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    • The dad:
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    • You can tell the kid got that from the dad.
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    • We're u in kindergarten with the special ed kids or what?
      DrQuanta 21 jul
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    • The only kid who can write? In kindergarten?
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    • I don't remember anything from my childhood. Like I have visions and stuff. But I don't have one specific memory or something
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    • i peed myself in 1st grade because my teacher told us if anyone needed to use the bathroom during computer lab, we would not get recess
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    • I remember those group of kids that were the "cool kids" because they had power ranger toys and one day i went to ask if i could play with them all inhad at the time was a ss4 goku action figure which looking back was abhell of alot better but the kid pretty much shoved the toy in my face saying
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    • I shit myself once in like 1st grade and pissed myself all the time during nap time in kindergarten
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    • This one girl in kindergarten handed me a pebble off the playground and told me it was a "rainbow hair pill". of course I'm young and stupid. took it, swallowed it, choked, and threw up in front of her. She started crying because she was gonna get in trouble for making me take the pebble and choke.
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    • Teachers: You need to act like an adult and not laugh at everything My Dad:*laughs at everything*
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    • In 3rd grade I had a crush on this one girl and I told her "are you a flaming hot cheeto, because you are looking spicy today" and I got sent to the principal's office where I was yelled at, parents were called, mom got me, she was laughing her ass off and bought me ice cream. That was a good day.
      Chuggon 21 jul
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    • Thats what i call an epic gamer move
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    • I learned how to write all the numbers early on cause of my parents. My handwriting is very computer like now.
      nooblet 21 jul
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    • The kid:
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    • Either you just made this up or you had awful parents to know this word (and how to spell it) in kindergarten...
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    • When I was in kindergarten a kid stole my trike and I called him a motherfucker, my dad died laughing
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    • 23 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • I remember when we were saying the alphabet and we got to the letter P and I instantly pissed myself right there
      loofalee 21 jul
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    • SHIT GIRL
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    • Chaos
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    • Idk I'm sure that the entirety of ifunny were child prodigies that were reading and writing scientific research papers while they were in kindergarten, but my class was still learning hooked on phonics in kindergarten.
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    • I’d be so proud
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    • one time this kid names joel would play beyblades on the play ground and had the really big one and kept winning with that or some limited edition japanese import and won way too much so someone yeeted it and he cried
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    • Rachel in my kindergarten class said I bit her finger, I never put anyone’s hands in my mouth..ever. I didn’t get snack time for a week. FORK YOU RACHEL
      JayOh 21 jul
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    • I’ve given up, the comments are no longer with us.
      AlmaZe 21 jul
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    • When I was in kindergarten a girl declared herself as my “girlfriend” and socially inept kindergarten me didn’t know wtf that meant but she couldn’t write and would give me notes that were pieces of paper with scribbles on them. She wouldn’t tell me what they said, telling me to “just read it”
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    • My kindergarten teacher tripped me and i got scars on my face...
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    • Fun story: i had a crazy period of time where i drew male genitalia on my bffs arm, i drew one that touched her shoulder and the tips of her fingers. In sharpie
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    • 5 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • did anyone else have issues with the mandatory special ed kids in your classes leaving and coming back naked into the class while their handler tried to control them?
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    • 6 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Guys when I was in kindergarten we were literally just learning our letters the standards were way lower than what they are now
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    • I remember on the last day of school when people would have classmates sign their shirts. I wrote gay boy on the back of one kids shirt. I still feel about it to this day, it was 5th grade
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    • I remember in kindergarten I was very well-versed in capital letters, but I was relatively unfamiliar with lowercase letters. I remember being so angry that I was forced to learn the entire alphabet a second time. What blissful ignorance
      Amron47 21 jul
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    • Suplexez 21 jul
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    • I doubt that is happened but I'm willing to accept it for the joke
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    • In the fourth grade my class had to make a word more artistic and draw on them for effect, and idk y but I kept messing up what I wanted to do so I erased the letters a bunch of times and the original word was bomb (and I kept asking for help all the time, so the teacher was periodically looking at
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    • A girls shirt said “Virginia” I called her a Vagina and I cried myself at the lunch table
      JackBlack 22 jul
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    • You know apparently the one thing my family remembers me doing was setting a person on fire (it was their pants is what they said)... I didn’t even know I was a sadistic little shit
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    • I would've raised his allowance if i was his dad
      SirWoodie 21 jul
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    • Congrats on getting featured my love! ♡♡♡
      Napalmer 25 jul
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    • One time in grade five, I threw hot chocolate at a kid because he broke my ruler
      Sobakiin 23 jul
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    • 2 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • This better be fucking true, my dog.
      kanep0e 21 jul
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    • I was a menace and had the cops called on me in kindergarten cause I wouldn't give up my chapstick and hid under the teacher's desk after I screamed at them and ran. I was all kinds of damaged. Still am.
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    • I would praise my kid
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    • Penis
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    • When I was in 1st grade I had to poop all day but didnt want to use the bathroom and I shit myself and left it in my pants for a little bit and then told someone and the school nurse had to take the shit out of my pants and wipe me.
      Deadmau5 25 jul
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    • Then everyone clapped 👏🖕
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    • It's true. It was me. I was the arm.
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    • I couldnt fucking read until 1st grade wtf?
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    • I remember in first grade we were learning how to write our names and I copied off the kid next to me. Had absolutely no idea how she found out I cheated at the time
      JoHnWaCkk 23 jul
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    • Reading before 4 years old gang rise up
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    • Me and my friends in kindergarten found a rolly polly / pillbug and named it Rolly. We basically made a religion out of it, and when rolly died or was lost we would find a new one and name that one something like Polly. There were like 10 generations of them.
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    • Im 6th grade my school went to the state capital for a field trip, and my teacher for the 2nd half of the day (even though it was morning) flat out yelled at me because i turned around to see how many people were there. Apparently no one was allowed to look away from the front, so while i was with a
      BLUE_SUS 23 jul
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    • Sounds like a backstory for a “feminist”
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    • Once in the first grade a bigger kid was yelling "you're not tough! you can't even punch! punch me in the gut I dare you" and I punched him so hard he keeled over and screamed. Teacher (public school) came over and saw quiet small me and didn't believe the kid, I didn't get in trouble. (cont)
      corkei 22 jul
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    • I remember in kindergarten we were doing those writing practice sheets with the dotted lines and stuff and one girl just wrote scribbly lines across the paper because that’s how spongebob writes
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    • I could barely read in first grade, so they put me in a special reading class for like kids with downs, and now I’m the fastest reader in the alas
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    • What a proud father
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    • That’s what fathers are for😎
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    • In kindergarten I had a spool of kite string and got in trouble for trying to tie a kid to a chair because he wouldn’t respect my authority as class monitor while the teacher was out of the room. Too young to tie a knot but I sure tried. Just wrapped it around him tightly several times. Good times.
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    • I remember once I brought cupcakes for my class cause it was my b day and I dropped one so I went to pick it up and two kids started fighting over the ground cupcake and we were outside, there was already ants on it
      MemeFry 21 jul
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    • Sometimes I try to remember my childhood with new perspective of how young my parents were (late 20’s) and I realize that they probably thought shit I did was funnier than they made it seem
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    • Penis
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    • Today on, “Shit that never happened:” We have all kinds of stories about K-3, all of which didn’t happen!
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    • You stole this from me, check the date
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    • YOU STOLE THIS FROM ME
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    • Did you bitch teacher bitch teacher snitch teacher snitch bitch bitch teacher snatch your pussy on the period teacher
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    • Fuck dem bro
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    • Penis
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    • I wrote poetry at 3 and read chapter books at 4. TBH it was a six line rhyming poem about my feelings towards a lavender rose in crayon. My parents used it as evidence to help get me into kindergarten early and into a gifted program. Out of all my siblings I was the only one without dyslexia.
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    • This guy gave me his lego car and I was so happy I kissed him on the lips. We both got in trouble. In my defense I thought that was a normal form of affection. Homie and I still laugh about it.
      BLU3Boi 26 jul
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    • Ngl I’d be hyped if my kid did this
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    • When I was in like the first grade and said some shit to this girl. Not sure what I said but I made her cry all day
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    • When I was in kindergarten, I couldn't prounce 'funk'. So whenever the song Uptown Funk was played in my class and I tried to sing along, I would end up saying fuck. I got in trouble for that.
      HIMalick 24 jul
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    • Rip
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    • One time in six grade we had a potluck and I had a loose molar I wasn’t really concerned about I ate so much potato salad my molar came out everyone thought it was a potato so that made me bleed and I went to the nurses office (1/2)
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    • My childhood friend showed me a mark on her neck and said that her parents cut her head then re attached it and bugged me to do the same, aka cut my own head off.... I think that was a demon
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    • Knowing that shit as a kid was like being literate in the 13th century
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    • We had these little paper books with 3 word sentences that the kids would pick off a table to read and then put back when done. I wrote poop and caca on the covers and put them back without anyone noticing. A kid told the teacher and the Mexican kid got blamed for it. Lol'ed omw to clean the next rm
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    • My sister was making those bracelets with letters on the with her cousin and later that day we found her wearing a bracelet that said “dumbass” on it I started laughing so hard
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    • And then everybody clapped
      Enteri 24 jul
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    • Ah nice a repost
      e_mell 24 jul
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    • once the teacher told me to wait outside during recess and i thought she meant outside her room and i missed lunch and cried
      hert_man 23 jul
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    • Then everyone clapped
      RyHe 23 jul
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    • I once got suspended for calling my teacher a buttcheek and the principle called my dad and he said are you seriously calling me for that at least he didn't call her a bitch or something
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    • And that girl? She grew up to be Barack Obama
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    • Because that’s what dads do
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    • I don’t know why but as a kid I would always challenge people who have authority over me for some reason and one day I asked my kindergarten teacher to go to the bathroom she said I can’t cuz recess was about to start I got mad stared at her and pissed my pants which my parents always bring it up
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    • In kindergarten I used to throw my Cheerios at other kids during snack time and I would pretend like it wasn’t me. I also used to go into the cubby’s and switch everyone’s book bag around when they weren’t looking. Then I would just sit back and watch the confusion while they look for their bag.
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    • First day of kindergarten I was running around and I stopped and stood still for about 30 seconds threw up then went right back to playing
      winterbo 23 jul
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    • Starting them off young 👍
      Raguel48 23 jul
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    • Dude I bet
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    • I brought a magnifying glass to school, and used it to burn a pile of leaves during recess. I was immediately sent to the front office, where my parents were called and yelled at about me being a “pyromaniac”
      Ballgo 23 jul
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    • I swear down that's my son from the future
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    • Special Education or just retarded?
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    • I fell backwards in art class and split my head open on the corner of the table. Reopened the same day. Fuckin sucked.
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    • How can you not write in kindergarten
      BigZyeah 23 jul
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