• 5 Anonymous
08/16/16(Tue)12:24:09 No.699763279
>be fat
>go to /fit/ and find a
solution
>main problem is i eat like
a dumpster
211 KB JPG
>apparentIy things with
loads of fiber is going to
save my filthy soul
>"Fiber is digested slowly, leaving you
feeling full longer, and helps with digestion"
>go out and buy two boxes of fiber-heavy
breakfast bars
>the first day i have fiber bars for
breakfast, lunch and a lot of snacks
>i dont shit that day
>next day i fiber myself up even more
>i dont shit that day either
>fiberjesus is surely working his magic in
my colon
>can feel the pounds dropping off because
im not very hungry anymore
>i dont shit the third day
>i dont shit the fourth day
>thefinaIdaydawnsmp3
>i have my morning coffee and feel my
insides rumble in that familiar way
>the second i hit the toilet the weirdest fart
in the world exits me
>it‘s whistling
>just a thin, continuous airstream of fart
smells coffin
  • {{ formattedCount }}  {{ count > 1 ? 'comments' : 'comment' }}

    • Why the fuck was that so funny to me, I'm laughing like an idiot and have to look away to drink my drink or risk making a fucking mess.
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    • I shouldn't be laughing as much as I am
      garrosh 17 apr
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    • 1.6K
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    • Am i laughing so hard bc I'm high or does everyone else think this is funny
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    • 48
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    • Dude I'm crying from laughing at this one so hard. Funniest meme I've ever seen
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    • I have not laughed this hard on ifunny in a while
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    • this is the best greentext post I've ever read. I literally couldn't stop laughing and made my sides hurt
      SLAV_left 17 apr
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    • This is the first thing I saw that genuinely made me laugh today
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    • The amount of detail and metaphors were just killing me😂😂😂
      Nolanbie 18 apr
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    • I think 95% of real iFunny users can say this is legitimately funny
      Sarah253 17 apr
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    • "Gondor calls for aid" 😂😂
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    • My guts are yelling in German
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    • Best feature in a while, holy shit that was funny for some reason.
      WileyBoi 18 apr
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    • Bravo to whoever made this! Haven’t had a laugh like I did with this one in a long time
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    • "The thuds of nuggets shooting around the bowl propelled by my insane fiber flatulence is giving me war flashbacks, I wasn't even in nam"...now this is the 4chan I remember
      Bockscar 17 apr
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    • This is why green text stories are the greatest
      DamonVi 20 apr
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    • I absolutely lost my shit at Gondor calls for aid
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    • Damn iFunny was actually funny for once
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    • People need to stop posting stuff this funny while I’m in class
      12
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    • Yeah you're supposed to change your diet slowly so that doesn't happen. Still funny as hell lol
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    • Took me 20 minutes to read this fucking thing because my vision kept getting blurry from all the tears from laughing....
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    • This is gonna be the thing I randomly think about and laugh my as off over for the next few weeks
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    • Bro this is the hardest I've laughed in a long time
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    • Gives birth to Dwayne "the rock" Johnson
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    • Bro I used to eat like, 2 fiber one brownies a day. And every 3 days I would just shit a fucking ostrich egg.
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    • One of the only things on iFunny that has ever made me laugh like a middle aged black woman in a movie theatre and I appreciate it
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    • Fuck bro, they said to implement some more fiber into your diet; not weaponize your rectum lmao
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    • I accidentally woke my husband up from laughing. “What are you laughing so hard at its 2 am”
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    • Don’t thank ifunny for this, thank 4chan
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    • Shit like this makes me realize how immature I actually am. I'm crying from laughter y'all
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    • Here I am in class actually struggling to keep a straight face while reading this. I’ve seen it before too idk why it’s so funny
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    • God im crying im fucking crying help
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    • It's 3 in the morning and I'm crying and my sides and lungs hurt this is beautiful
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    • Best part is 99% of ppl reading this are on the toilet. Prly 22% experiencing that situation
      chitoman 18 apr
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    • I can't believe I read that whole thing.. Def worth it lol
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    • Thanks for making me bust out laughing in the middle of lecture
      SPlcyb01 17 apr
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    • 2 lines hit me like a combo and i dying. Iwasnteveninnam and my guts are yelling in german
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    • I demand a comic strip depicting this
      RedGlint 22 apr
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    • That was a fucking roller coaster
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    • Been a while since i had this good of a laugh! I feel this guys pain lmao
      XxTaigo 21 apr
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    • eiga 20 apr
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    • I'm fuckin crying oh my god. It's funny enough on its own but I've also lived through that same trauma and it just makes it all the more hilarious
      NTrepiD 19 apr
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    • I just woke up my fiance by laughing so hard God damn it
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    • The ones who laugh like i is because we have experienced similar things
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    • Well shit
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    • The god tier greentext has graced us with it’s presence
      9
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    • If ifunny can feature more shit like this, that would be glorious.
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    • I laughed harder at this than 90% of all these other memes
      Monge 18 apr
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    • This makes up for the past weeks of awful features
      Grindr_ 18 apr
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    • So vivid and so well written. Feels like I was the one taking the shit
      rubixtaco 18 apr
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    • This probably made me laugh harder than anything else I've seen on this app
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    • GONDOR CALLS FOR AID
      Saruleus 17 apr
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    • God bless whoever wrote this. One because they need prayer for obvious reasons. Second, I'm 30yrs old and haven't laughed so hard I peed since I went to a Ron White show when I was 12.
      gsxstigtr 17 apr
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    • holy shit another! thanks my fellahs
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    • Probably the best story telling I've ever read
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    • the extensive vocabulary and descripitve imagery made this so much more enjoyable
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    • I read this in class during a lecture and got kicked out
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    • “My guts are yelling German.” I fucking lost it
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    • I’ve read this three times and it still puts me in tears from laughing so much
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    • Finally, a post thats not a fucking video
      8
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    • Holy shit. I’m laughing like a bitch. I don’t know why this was so funny... guess it’s just poetic
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    • Best feature in a long time
      bibambap 20 apr
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    • I'm crying this made me laugh so hard. I have have labored breathing and have developed a six pack
      Osskisim 20 apr
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    • Had to gasp for a air for a sec there
      Remove 19 apr
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    • “My guts were growling in German” had me a good laugh
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    • What everyone thinks 4chan is: a notorious group of hackers and psychopaths who have the ability to start global wars. 4chan in reality:
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    • Been scrolling thru the bordem...go to sh*t...cant...find this and laugh so hard i finally sh*t...thabkbyou ifunny...finally
      avva0809 18 apr
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    • *Gondor calls for aid*
      Whit3ritz 18 apr
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    • This is actually fucking funny my sides burst im tryna eat some cereal here dammit !
      Andyypm 18 apr
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    • This is the funniest shit I ever read 😂😂😂
      Alaw_2006 18 apr
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    • This is just so incredibly fucking descrptive, it’s almost like I’m there shitting with him
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    • This took me way too to read. I kept having to take breaks to stop laughing so hard so I could read again
      dumbho 18 apr
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    • I couldn't read foe more than 3 seconds at a time I was laughing so hard this, ladies and gentilmen is how you write a fourchan
      doober707 18 apr
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    • >my guts are yelling in german lmao
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    • If you’re trying to change your diet, it’s healthier to ease your way into it, not go cold turkey - Exhibit A ^
      _Styx 17 apr
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    • I couldn’t stop laughing, holy shite
      Urbanxx 17 apr
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    • Gondor calls for aid fucking killed me
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    • Even the most diehard atheist will pray in that situation
      xWASSUPx 17 apr
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    • I honestly was silently laughing so hard in public that i was crying
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    • I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard I started crying.
      Scotto22 17 apr
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    • It's even better when you read it while shitting
      Asthurin 17 apr
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    • I'm in class and my teacher wants to know why I'm laughing like a fucking idiot during her PowerPoint on endangered pandas
      Conundrum 17 apr
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    • gondorcallsforaid.rar got me
      8
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    • This dude just got today by his own shit
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    • Holyshitmysides.jpeg
      Dikku 17 apr
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    • I'm reading this will taking a shit this is so epic
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    • I’ve looked through this at least 6 times today and each time I’m laughing until I cry
      HelloEver 23 apr
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    • Stopped using the app a while ago cuz it was only videos and no pictures anymore... came back today to see if anything changed but nope, cya ifunny
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    • “Shakily wipe my ass.” Is where I totally lost it.
      Mentosis 22 apr
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    • "The rock shot out of me at mach speeds"
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    • But did you lose weight?
      KidColby 21 apr
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    • Im fucking dying. This has made my day. TY so much!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
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    • I was trying to read it to my friends but could not
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