• 3 years ago, a cute guy I worked with
wanted to give me a fist bump...
thought he was pretending to hold an
invisible microphone so I leaned
forward and said hello
Austin @Austin_James74
What's the most embarrassing thing that's
ever happened to you?
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  • 643 comments

    • You will never be known as “cute guy I...” why even live
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    • Was in history class. Had the hiccups. Tried to drink water, but at it went down, I sneezed the water out in the middle of the lecture, burped, then hiccuped. I hate myself
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    • That's cute lol I gotta do that next time
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    • if the knuckles are pointing upward than its a fist bump. if the knuckles are pointing sideways than its a mic. basic maths
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    • I would find that very cute if it ever happened to me
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    • I was walking by my crush’s desk, so my friend decided to shove me into him (am girl) so obviously I tried to grab on anything to save myself. Ended up grabbing a big handful of my crush’s thicc ass, he just turned to me with a huge smile and went “Tryna get a slice of cake?” I wanted to kms
      KyKy 31 jul
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    • I deliver flowers and im used to people just saying "thank you" so i always say "my pleasure" this one guy said good after noon and I said my pleasuuuuuuuuuure. Then looked down and just walked away.
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    • I was gassy but went out with this guy I liked and I slipped a little and farted in front of him. Ain’t never hated myself so much so I tried to turn it into a joke and said “girls don’t have butts. They can’t fart” and he didn’t say anything so I kept going and said “that was a queef”
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    • He was trying to fist you, like the sex move
      fatballz 31 jul
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    • Be me, 2nd grade, sitting next my "girlfriend" Samantha as we take our state tests. I have to sneeze, real bad. I let it loose, covering it with my elbow, as a gentleman does. Go wipe my nose and come back to desk. Finally notice the gargantuan Musinex monster that is sitting on my paper.
      justjarad 31 jul
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    • Told my crush she looked like her dog just died, after she told me her dog died
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    • In preschool, all of the kids were supposed to put on a little show for the parents. It was my job to thank the parents for coming at the end of the show. I did that, and then everyone laughed at me. Turns out, we were only halfway done. Still remember it to this day, and I'm 26.
      Azkadaz 31 jul
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    • A cute guy I went to college with asked if I wanted to go to this Mexican place with him between classes for lunch. I don't like mexican and politely told him no thanks and why. I didn't realize until too late he was into me... and he never came back he dropped the class! I actually liked him!!!
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    • Bruh I was spinning a sign next to my school advertising a school event and this dude on a bike came up to give me a fist bump cause he used to spin signs but he had a subway bag in his hand and I thought he was offering that and tried to take it I actually want to die
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    • I had a vasectomy. You have to supply an ejaculate sample to confirm there are no sperm afterward. I hand my sample in at the Med Lab . I was called back. The receptionist said "You didn't tighten the lid, I've now got your sample all over my hands". I booked it and never used that Med Lab again.
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    • I wanted to cover up a fart in class so I dropped my textbook to mask the sound but I was a little late and the plop got everyone's attention right before I let it loose.
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    • I was in class and had to fart, the seats in school are plastic so basically no matter how small it is, it’s gonna be loud. So I leaned to one side with on cheek on the seat and one off so it would spread them. And a turd slipped out of my ass cheeks
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    • Who in the fuck ever sees a person holding out their fist as a greeting, and you immediately think, “ah yes, it’s an invisible microphone”
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    • I was chewing gum in class once and went to blow a bubble but instead it blew out of my mouth onto the desk of the kid in front of me. It was one of the popular kids too
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    • In first grade I was feeling awful so my mom came to pick me up then when I was leaving the class I suddenly had to shit really bad and I literally shat myself walking to the office
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    • Back in middle school on the school bus I had my earbuds in and I farted thinking it was a quite one, the guy sitting beside me asked out loud "did you just shit yourself?"
      rookie_ 1 aug
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    • In band class we were doing scales and I sneezed into my trombone and blasted the kid in front of my.
      xxxded 31 jul
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    • This comment section is amazing lmao
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    • I was in 5th grade and bent down to grab my pencil and my pants just exploded open, ripping the back seam from my lower back to my nuts. And I decided to go commando that day so everyone in the hallway got a view of my taint.
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    • I sneezed so hard during a class lesson that a big honking booger came half out, had to cover my face for a full 5 mins and cleaned it off with a pad I had
      flamgo 31 jul
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    • Was in 8th grade science class, watching bill nye talk about how big the earth is, I said “not as big as my dick” right as she paused the video and the whole class heard me. I was made fun of for the rest of the week but my friend thought it was funny
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    • When my female cousin introduced me to her female friend, she reached her hand out to shake mine and I ended up going for the hug, then we both stopped mid way and switched roles, this went on for almost 10 seconds.The most embarrassing 10s of my life.
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    • I worked as a food lion cashier and a woman asked for a book of stamps. Tried to say yes mam and no problem at the same time. I said no mam very loud and forcefully and my manager laughed when I told him ab it
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    • A cute Asian girl sat behind me and accidentally ripped a huge fart everybody looked in our direction laughing. So I just laughed and said sorry. Then everybody laughed. The girl thanked me after class. Also she let me copy her tests so it paid off.
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    • My first boyfriend had his JROTC class come into my gym class and he put out his arms for a hug and I got confused and gave him a double high-five in front of both classes and he just kinda started at me for a few moments and went...I wanted a hug...
      Green17 31 jul
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    • During a check up a doctor told me to touch my toes so she could check my spine for scoliosis. My organs squeezed and I let out a really loud and hot fart on the way down. She opened the window and said she'd be back in a couple minutes and left the exam room.
      Chromify 1 aug
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    • Went to a taco king drive through. The 17 year old worker handed me my card back and before I could set it down she handed me a horchata. I was trying not to drop the card and I kept my hand on the drink for about 5 seconds. Me being a retard, also managed to grab her hand while grabbing the cup
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    • I pissed myself in the backseat of a cop car
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    • I was watching a video in history class on like the second world War and the cold War, and I got a phone call right in the middle of it. My ringtone is the soviet national anthem because I wanted to make my mom laugh in the middle of a home depot a hell of a long time ago. But I had my ringer on max
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    • MacauliflowerCulkin
      content not available more
      MacauliflowerCulkin 31 jul
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    • this guy was handing me a candle for this college initiation ceremony thing, but i thought he was holding an ice pop for me and i almost bit into it.... then i noticed it was a candle and that he was looking at me like” wtf you freaky”
      Aothei 31 jul
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    • If. Girl did that to me, I would definitely pee in her butt
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    • I had an appointment with a woman named Janae. I went to check in the receptionist who was Black, and said I had an appointment with Janaynay.
      NickSax 31 jul
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    • I once went over to a girls house after saying that we were gonna get each other started on tv shows, me getting her on mha, she getting me on stranger things, and I only realized like last week that was meant to be a Netflix and chill
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    • is it me you’re looking foooor
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    • And then they fucked.
      UnUnique 31 jul
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    • I broke my nose and started snoring after but i never knew i did. I fell asleep in class and when I woke up everyone was like hey man you good there bc it was loud
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    • As a guy when girls act awkward around me because they think I'm cute it's flattering
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    • I was sick at school and then ate a sloppy joe for lunch. Period after lunch i felt something was wrong, i turned to leave my seat instead i nearly projectile vomited on my friend but luckily he was agile enough to leap out of the way
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    • I’d do that on purpose
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    • I once was talking to this cute deaf girl on tinder, it was all going well and we were hitting it off. Then one day I asked her...what her favorite music was...
      Seinen 1 aug
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    • Several; once I was in class and my highlighter was running dry during a test, so I shook it without the lid. Soon I realized I had gotten ink all over my desk, blinds, and at least 2 peoples shirts (white uniforms) and I played it off for 5 minutes until the teacher noticed and lost her shit
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    • I was going to ditch school but they lock up the bicycle racks and there’s a 2 classrooms that have windows facing the bike racks and a teacher saw me and cane out yelling at me. So I was getting yelled at while sitting on the 9ft fence carrying my bike in front of 2 full classes.
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    • I felt that. That’s some shit my dumbass would do.
      drew1255 31 jul
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    • Was drunk as fuck at a weekend event with friends and a girl told me to follow her to her room in a place me and my friends rented out for the weekend and as soon as I entered I told her I had to take a shit and passed out in the bathroom.
      LSEAD 31 jul
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    • When I was little I thought my dad was in line in front of us and I tried to take his wallet out of his back packet... the guy wasn’t my dad and turned around to see a little kid messing with his ass lol I’m still mortified
      gay_dood 2 aug
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    • I was in a store and I farted. I immediately left and this other women was blamed for it. I left with a big smile on my face
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    • my brother shit on his wife while they were in bed so badly he fused her legs together
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    • I was on Omegle one day petting my cat and patting him and said “boy you thick. Little Thiccolas Cage, gonna get all the kitty bitches huh?” And I looked up to see someone on screen with a concerned look. I closed my laptop and let it die that night
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    • Army bct, everybody in our platoon was sitting in the barracks while drill sergeants talk to us, I’m in the exact middle. I manage to both sneeze and fart at the same time, it was hella loud and nasty
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    • I once drop something on the floor during lunch, I got up and bent down to pick it up but then I heard my friends laughing. I realized the guy I was sitting next to was staring at my bum and got caught by my friends
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    • Me and this kid I sat next to in the last class of the day in like 6th grade had an inside joke where we joked what sperm tastes like. After school I saw him in a crowd of people and loudly yelled, "Sperm tastes like ice cream!"in front of a crowd of teachers and parents
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    • I’m very pleased to announce that I deliberately forgot any and all memories of the cringey shit that made me want to throw myself in front of a bus at any given chance.
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    • How high did he hold up his fuckin hand for you to think that’s what he was doing?
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    • One day in 5th grade my shoe was untied and I thought to myself “do people actually trip on their shoelaces?” I then stood on my shoelace with my other foot, tried to take a step, and then face planted.
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    • When I Ripped...
      an_E_Pat 31 jul
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    • I absolutely would bet he thought it was the cutest thing ever
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    • Shitfuck I would laugh my ass off if someone did that to me. That's gold
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    • Look. Everyone calls me a cute guy to my face. And then nobody does shit when I try to get more friendly with them. Is this some thing girls just tell guys to make them feel better about themselves? Because the truth is making me feel worse
      TheScoot 31 jul
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    • that's pretty cool actually. not that embarrassing. my dumbass brain would have glitched and tried to slap him some skin
      Kasagure 2 aug
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    • I went into a coffee shop with 2 of my friends and as we entered the barista asked "hey! What brings you in today?" and without hesitation I said "gooood!!" With the most confidence expecting to be asked how we were doing..the whole shop got real quiet and I got alota shit for it when we left haha
      Spacefox 2 aug
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    • One time I was watching a children’s movie at the local theater, and as I was doing so I was eating my favorite food item. About halfway in I spilled this food onto myself, the food being scrumptious beans. Then a teen sitting behind me yelled “This nigga eatin beans” and everybody laughed.
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    • When I was six we went to a dinner party for the whole Air Force base where we lived. At some point in the night they asked little kids to come up and tell jokes for small presents and I went up and told a dirty joke I heard from some older boys. :/
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    • In class I was chewing on that plastic thing with sharp things on the inside of it that u get when u open the water bottle and I laughed at something and the thing went straight down my throat and It hurt so fucking bad and I couldn’t breathe and I stood up and ran out of the class to get water
      Chives 1 aug
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    • Why that’s fucking hilarious and an absolute power move
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    • Notice how she only remembers him as “cute guy.” “Uhh ugggh duhh women care more about personality than looks!” Is such bullshit.
      Cajun 31 jul
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    • So, I'm at the Ohio Speech and Debate State tournament and we're at the final round. This is a super-prestigious event and this is the grand finale. Well, the next speaker comes in and there's a pause as the judges fill in their forms. There's dead silence until someone lets it rip (1/2)
      Starco 31 jul
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    • We had one of those whatever class donates most gets a partys things in my 8th period class. I took a couple handfuls of coins from my dads coin jar. Was in math class, forgot about coins. Silent class disturbed by the sound of many metal clinks as the coins pour out. Everyone looks at me
      Skrrtt 31 jul
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    • If you're a girl it's impossible to do something embarrassing
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    • If he was attracted to you too. You could've high five his bump and he wouldn't mind.
      pinbalI 31 jul
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    • That's even better than a fist bump, and if he didn't find it funny he had no sense of humor.
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    • Most embarrassing thing I’ve ever done? It’s more like everything I’ve ever done in my life
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    • My music teacher wanted to discreetly tell me to stfu cuz I was talking while another teacher was giving us a lesson. He walked up behind me and wordlessly motioned with his hand for me to zip it. All I saw was a fist so I gave him a fist bump.
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    • A good friend of mine dressed up as a reporter for a costume party and went around with a pink plastic microphone "interviewing" people. He came up to interview me, and unexpectedly asked me out in front of a few of his friends. I ended up saying no, we are still good friends so its fine I guess?
      nattattck 31 jul
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    • When I was a kid, my cousin asked me if I wanted a Squeeze It. I said squeeze what?
      MILE5 31 jul
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    • i tried to catch a mosquito at work but some guy saw me and thought i was flirting and trying to "snatch him" or something and this was like six months ago and it still haunts me
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    • I was 10 didnt know how tips worked, my friends and i gathered emough money to pay for a pizza, the guy came and i was the one to give him the money. I had given him a little extra and was like “here lemmie get that” and i deadass took away his tip. From like- out of his fucking hand. Fucking kms
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    • Not me but a classmate: a kid in our class would sit and mediate during class. One day he ripped the loudest ass possible while the shy girl was giving a presentation and my buddy was red from laughing and everyone assumed it was him. On our way out, the kid that farted passed our teacher and said
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    • Used to always shout out to my grandpa when the light turned green as a kid. One time I said "Grandpa it's green!" to a taxi driver. I was 4. I remember it vividly
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    • U joined my class zoom call and when my teacher noticed she said my name and i said “here”
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    • I was very sheltered as a kid and hadn't ever heard the n word until the 7th grade, and didn't realize the social stigma around it so i said it under my breath in class and the looks i got made me hella red
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    • I guarantee he still would've fucked you. Women don't know true embarrassment or loneliness
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    • You know that money basket that gets passed around church? Dropped it. Dropped it everywhere.
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    • That was me and I can’t believe you remember this!!
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    • That’s cute tho ngl
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    • There was this one time at an amusement park it was so cold I couldn’t hold my fart in- anyways I looked at the guy behind me to see if he heard it and we made really awkward eye contact- he did hear it. And we still had 2 hours left in line
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    • When I was 15 I got completely roasted by 4 18 year old guys in front of my girlfriend. Couldn't fight them because I was 15 and they were 18 and it was 4 of them.
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    • Some cashier was trying to hand me my change they had their hand in a fist and i fist bumped them
      NiffyG 1 aug
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    • When I was in grade 3 I was sent to sit on a chair alone because I was being a bit rowdy during reading time on the carpet. I was playing with a string in my pants and I ended up taking the string out and playing with it and ignoring the teacher. When she saw that she had me get up to read in 1/2
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    • high fived someone after sex
      Neeev 1 aug
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    • I went to the doctor commando
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    • I'd laugh hard as fuck thats great.
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    • A microphone is held vertically and a fist bump is horizontal 👊
      Okqy 31 jul
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    • Why would he not have gone out woth you?
      wymondo 31 jul
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    • My dumbass read "microscope" 3 fucking times and I could not figure out how to make a microscope out of a fist.
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