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    • iDontGiveAFook
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    • gotta like other people’s comments to get their ball rolling
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    • Yeah bitch, I eat onions. You chose the wrong mf
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    • A true alpha move
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    • The roommate
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    • Now when Christmas comes I want to walk into the kitchen when my family is in town (5 uncles on my dads side) just walk into the room with an onion, take a bite out of it, give it to a uncle or cousin and walk out of the room like nothing happened. Like if you think I should and I’ll update later
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    • My boyfriends roommate just imitates my ‘sex sounds’ while laughing hysterically
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    • my friend was at a swimming competition and he bit into an orange thinking it was an apple. the other swim team saw him and were amazed, so he just kept going and ate the fucking orange right in front of them. what a power move.
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    • People who say they cant read something because of a minor inconvience should go back to school fucin ibiots
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    • I would have just straight up told her that my dumb ass thought it was an apple and made it a funny story
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    • Tumblr should sue iFunny for stealing all of its contents for its featured section, which is monetized through ad revenue.
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    • Pro-gamer power move
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    • I think it’s so annoying people make unnecessary loud sex noises.. or lack the courtesy to hold it back when they know someone else lives there.
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    • [Quick Thinking] Oh this? Helps with hangovers
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    • This happened to me basically. Except I accidentally drank a measuring cup of oil instead of water since I was cooking
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    • Okay but why did Holes make it seem like onions were the best, most juicy and delicious vegetable in the world
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    • Desu 15d
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    • In 5th grade, I was tasked with reenacting a scene from holes. So I bit directly into an onion and the juice shot out and went directly into this kid's eye and I was suspended for assaulting another student...
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    • Onions have L a Y e R s, like an OgRe
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    • Shrek would commend you for this
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    • First time my roommates gf caught me in the kitchen it was pitch black at 3am and instead of doing anything a normal human would do I screeched and ran away on all fours with only the light of the fridge illuminating my escape
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    • I used to eat onions like apples when I was 4 but then I choked on one and almost died. Fun times
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    • This is how I would describe my laugh, at first it sounds normal, than I sound like a hyena
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    • I do that
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    • Let's give him an ONION to make him look even more like an asshole
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    • Even better..
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    • I had a stroke reading that first paragraph
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    • People that spell fuckin like fukkin need to leave
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    • One onion a day, keep doctors and everyone else away.
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    • Fucking power move
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    • Am I the only one who’s concerned about the person who couldn’t read the story?
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    • i love raw onions c r u n c h
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    • 4
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    • 4
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    • 7
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    • Big dick energy
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    • I know people that just eat onions raw like an apple
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    • No shit, I bit into an onion the other day and it tastes sweet after the second bite. I was gonna eat the whole thing but my mum needed it to make dinner lmao
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    • I mean I used to hear my roommate and his girlfriend ducking and yowling all the time. I just ignored it and look where it got me! A new baby sister!
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    • Gotta prove your superiority
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    • Shit inside her to establish dominance
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    • 3
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    • A Powermove
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    • You bite the onnone
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    • It would have established more dominance if he just threw it at her
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    • Why is the spelling so awful in every sentence
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    • Theres different layers to an onion. Just like how shes gonna shed her layers after watching you bite a pure onion
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    • I remember this one time I was invited to an evening with 2 girls that wanted to tie dye some shirts we all got high af and I raided her dad's cheese n ritzs while they dyed shirts .. ahh .. I was kicked out at 2 a.m. .. high and alone lol
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    • Have some godamn respect for your roommates and go be dirty animals elsewhere
      3
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    • My roommate and I used to see who could get their girls to be louder. He was winning so I told my girl the rubber broke and I came inside and she really won it for me.
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    • i used to eat them like apples all the time as a kid. cant anymore, produce is expensive
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    • I've done this once, I was already drinking ao this wasn't real me it was drunk me, everybody was eating fruit with their vodka, I looked at them and said "I call this the shrek" bit the onion and took a shot of vodka
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    • Or how about you have some goddamn respect for others and wait until you and your SO are alone to bang so other people don't have to listen, you disgusting animals
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    • Munch an onion to show your dominance.
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    • My roomates gf walked in livingroom with cum in her hair like it was nbd
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    • I will actually eat an onion like an apple cause onions are delicious
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    • Onions arent bad raw
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    • OK shrek
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    • Power move
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    • You basically just bit Shrek you know...
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    • Reading this was the equivalent of eating TV static
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    • What is S/O?
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    • A roo-mate? Wtf is that? Unless you mean roommate
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    • If you can't eat a whole raw onion your power level is truly insignificant
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    • Play it off with a "this is my swamp you know"
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    • He needs to demonstrate his layers
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    • just show him ur butthole
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    • That's what they call a pro gamer move
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    • Gotta finish the onion now
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    • Yeah can’t get my girl to not be loud but roomate broke my oven so he’s gonna have to deal with it
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    • Just whisper as you pass by welcome to my swamp
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    • Am I the only one who thinks onions taste good.
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    • So the roommate is Shrek
      RLGB 15d
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    • I mean pretty rude that you haven’t been introduced if it’s his girlfriend
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    • She left her boyfriend for his roommate
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    • I seriously had trouble reading the first one as well
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    • Onions make you invisible to yellow spotted lizards
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    • So you walk out of your s/o's room and stand face to face with fucking Shrek...
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    • I once saw one of the cooks at work chopping onions and this sudden craving hit me like a fucking truck on the freeway, so I asked him for one and just ate the whole fucking thing
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    • Glorious
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    • 2
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    • Clown below me
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    • I've eaten a whole onion like it was an apple before. It was roasted inside a pig stuffed with carrots, potatoes, chicken, sausages, beef. Jus like a bit of everything and the onion tasted like all of it. I'd give my left nut for another one
      lude 15d
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    • Why she going through someone else's fridge tho? I'd be pretty salty if my roomate's gf was eating the food I bought.
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    • The Shrek is strong with this one
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    • Awkward person uses onion bite. It’s super effective...
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    • I just died inside 😂
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    • Shrek
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    • You have absolutely no dominance if you're on Tumblr.
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    • thats Alpha af
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    • 2
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    • Caramelize them, and they good af with salt, cayenne, and pepper.
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    • Ive done this twice in my life. The first time I caused raw onions to be banned from my school and the second was when somebody smuggled one in for me.
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    • So tumblr jesus christ
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    • Ogres are like onions 😉
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    • Haha tumblr funny
      2
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    • Should have whispered into her ear “Thees ees the pahrt whehre yew run aweh.”
      2
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    • “HES MY ROOMMATE AND YOUR HOE!!! “ *takes big bite of onion not batting an eye*
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    • I ate half an onion for breakfast, weak ass
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    • Cool Story Bro
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