• You and a super intelligent snail both
get 1 million dollars, and you both
become immortal, however you die if
the snail touches you. It always knows
where you are and slowly crawls
toward you. What's your plan? Also, surviving the hurricane ok?
Is this an amphibious snail?
Well he's immortal so he can go anywhere
Do I get to know where he is? Nope, but he knows where you are
Okay. First I move to Hawaii. Let's say
snails move on average 0.03 mph. To
ESOS
I'd move to Maui, which is 3,815 miles
away. He would have to travel for
127,167 hours to reach me, or about
14.5 years. 7 years after moving to
Maui, I would move to Rome to ensure
cur) AS
entire Pacific Ocean or tum around
and travel back through the Panama.
Canal. I would continue calculating
how long it takes him to get halfway to
AAA O
continents at the halfway point. This
also prevents people from noticing me
not aging or getting sick.
Additionally, immediately invest 1/4 of
the money, put 1/2 in savings/safe
bonds with high interest rates, and
UM ER CN ido Bi RU CIA
living off dividends of my investments.
He unmatched me after this. I was just trying to
be thorough
EA ENS
response is the ENTIRE POINT of this
question @techtonicactivity
    • EmailPinterestRedditTumblr Report
    • Copy link
    • Pinterest
  • 1962 comments

    • Why tf does a snail need $1 million
      1.3K Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • You gotta realize that the snail is super intelligent and could crawl onto a plane
      1K Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • If it's imortal then cast it in iron and make a tiny pendent so it's always with me and any time I want to die probably after a million years I just hammer it open and poke the snail
      524 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Snail in jar
      502 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • He is a super intelligent snail, with one million he could manufacture a way to reach you faster and without fail
      466 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • One million dollars isn't worth the hassle, if it were 50 million as a minimum it might be worth having to deal with
      M167641 8 jul
      430 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Pay someone $50 to put the snail in a jar with weights, and throw it in the ocean.
      417 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Since the snail can use planes and boats that wouldnt work I would stay in a white room, that is rather big with no way a snail could hide. Everything sealed besides the entrance, to where he would have to come in. I would then pay someone to catch the snail and put him a steel box and weld it shut.
      Bclamp01 8 jul
      297 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Put that bitch in a jar
      283 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Well if the snail is intelligent it could lightly stow away on a boat or a plane.
      274 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Well if he is still afraid of salt then you should be safe somewhere in the ocean
      258 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Cover the snail with a jar or something and put a lid on it, and bury it in the ground, problem solved...
      246 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • 1 mil isn't that much to have to live in a constant state of paranoia
      Gunshed 8 jul
      243 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Put the snail in a box he doesn’t have hands
      184 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Why does everyone steal this from gavin free lol
      162 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • if he is a super intelligent snail with 1 million dollars theoretically he could 1. Figure out a way to quickly communicate with humans 2. Hire a human/humans to be his "face" 3. travel by car/boat/plane but 4. why would he want to kiII you? he's rich and immortal. he could just live his life
      Kasagure 8 jul
      159 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Hey that's from RoosterTeeth
      Bumblebi 8 jul
      160 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Find the snail, put it in a plastic jar or get one of your friends to pick it up for you and do it. Then get some epoxy and make the snail into like one of those fossil amber rock things with the epoxy. Get a safe and put it in there. Then when the day comes that you have become tired of 1/2
      110 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • All of that is based on the assumption that the snail isn’t already in Hawaii, or anywhere else you plan on moving to. What if you inadvertently fly yourself closer to the snail?
      98 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I’d intentionally let the snail touch me after spending a million dollars on hookers, death by snail is the way to go.
      ADUB330 8 jul
      59 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I’d donate the snail to science so they can run tests to solve immortality. They’ll never let that lil bitch leave.
      55 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • If the snail is ultraintelligent, it could just hop on a plane or boat
      34 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Wow he really thinks hes gonna move to Hawaii and rome on a million dollars. Most scenarios you cant trap the snail so id get him to follow me onto a space shuttle and send that fucker to space
      THUNT 8 jul
      21 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • He's a fuckboi trying to be clever to fuck, but he doesn't appreciate the fucking gem he just found. If a girl said this in reply I'd literally have to meet her lol. But I love humor, so I guess it's not for everyone.
      19 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Million dollars but
      Zamorak 8 jul
      18 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Put the snail inside a lockbox. Put that lockbox in a 2 meter in diameter ball of tungsten welded shut. Drop that into a foundry like the end of T2. Let the foundry cool, the drip the entire thing into the Mariana Trench. Invest the rest of the money not spent into space exploration
      14 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I'd justpay someone put him in a thiccc(thick with three C's) jar(sealed shut)and keep him on a shelf, if the jar breaks, get another jar
      sewd1289 9 jul
      13 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Put it in a metal box
      13 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • He realized she was smarter than him and he felt threatened.
      15 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Hire someone else who can touch the snail to capture it and keep it in a cage
      12 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I would simply avoid touching snails.
      11 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • It's because he realized she's dumb. A super intelligent immortal snail would obviously be able to hitch a ride on a boat or maybe even a plane and close the gap in under a week from anywhere in the world.
      11 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • It's intelligent and has 1mil. It could take a plane to you and get u while u sleep. The clear answer is to trap it in a cage and spend like $100 on salt and just surround the cage with it. The snail hired guards? Hire a private army, you have 1 mil and are immortal. Just earn the money back.
      10 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • YES!!! THE POST
      FlRE 8 jul
      10 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Find the snail and cast it in the center of a 10 inch metal cube. Little fucker can have fun trying to eat his way out
      10 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • If the snail is super intelligent then wouldn’t it just find a way to move faster or end the other person quicker from a fixed location?
      9 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Just go on a boat, drive to the middle of the ocean with the snail on the boat following you, make trips around the boat so the snail won’t touch you until you get to your destination, jump in the water for a sec, snail follows and sinks to the bottom, as it reaches the bottom, the pressure will...
      9 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I drew a snail
      11 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Yeah he unmatched her cause she’s stupid. The snail is hyper intelligent. It can go on a plane... She’d be dead in weeks. Put the snail in a damn jar and take its $1 million
      10 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Put it under a cup...
      8 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • You're all retarded just put a clear bullet proof case around the snail. It's immortal so it's doesn't need air or water or food. And it can't hide from you. Now it also cant touch you. Problem solved.
      Gevil 8 jul
      8 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Put the snail in the cum jar
      ODogX 9 jul
      7 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • What a fucking idiot. That girl is a keeper wtf
      7 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Being immortal doesn't stop me from trapping it in a box, locking it in a safe, and then dropping it into the Atlantic.
      7 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • where's the S N U R C H
      7 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Ngl a chick going that deep into a question is a turn on.
      eakin 8 jul
      7 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • An intelligent snail could still get dropped in a glass with tongs, thrown into concrete, then covered in an iron shell, then dropped into the Mariana Trench
      6 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Snail purchases speed boat with his money
      5 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I hate people who ask that question because it’s a snail anyone should be able to win this game now if it was another person that makes it more interesting and there have been shows with that idea
      tac0s 9 jul
      5 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Running away won't help, keep your friends close and enemies closer. Hire a few people to remain ever vigalent for the snails appearance, spray paint all snails seen. If one pops up painted again, you know it the one. Sleep in a glass box. When the snail appears have someone trap it. (1/2)
      5 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Snail makes friends with a bird and hitches a ride to fishing boat bound for wherever your , then hitches a ride on a cat , you feel safe in your home knowing the snail has about 14 years before he catches you, then you hear a cat meowing o your porch you reach down to pet the kitty and BAM
      5 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • The snail got 1 mill also. So if the snail is smart they would be friends for eternity
      5 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Anyone think that the snail might hitch a ride on a ship going to Hawaii
      5 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Death note vibes
      5 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • The only way to absolutely avoid death is to attach the snail to a rocket capable of exceeding the speed of the expanding universe (67.4 km per sec per megaparsec). This would make it physically impossible for the snail to ever reach you.
      M167641 8 jul
      5 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Safe bonds with high interest rates??
      5 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • The snail is super intelligent. It won't just crawl toward the target, it will find ways to get there as fast as possible. The reddit thread had some pretty good responses
      5 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • It’s a bullshit answer.The snail is already described as super intelligent,having said that the whole of his equations are thrown off because the snail would simply hitch a ride on faster modes of travel.Human,boat,car,etc.so there for he would never know when the snail would find him.
      4 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Stomp on it
      4 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • What if it is on an airplane
      4 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Hate when retards steal content
      4 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Ok, first of stupid af plan. There isn’t a linear path /road that a snail could keel its pace. What if it hitches a ride on a suped up Nissan. The turbos forced air induction engulfs the snail into the engine. Goes the the 4 strokes and it’s dna generically mutates. Now it’s as fast as a race car.
      3 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • You do not know which snail is THE snail. Someone mentioned staying in a white room that’s sealed with 1 entrance to figure this out. Once you find the snail pay someone to put it into a jar for you and seal it
      Sysus123 9 jul
      3 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Have someone put the snail in a jar and have it shot into space that way even if it escapes the jar it will never be able to reach earth
      3 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Have a box built with a single pole connecting it to the ground in the middle of a concrete slab that goes out about 50 yards in all directions and have food items and water delivered to me up in the box by someone who is first checked by multiple people for the snail. 1/2
      4 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Take me to snurch
      ricky__ 8 jul
      3 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I'd let the snail find me and take his 1 mil?
      3 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • the snail is super intelligent.. it would crawl it's way onto a plan, catch you off guard and you would be dead
      3 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • The snail would be able to take planes if it was intelligent. So like the solution is kinda bust since it relies on the snail walking the entire way.
      3 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • If the snail is super smart and has 1 mill, can’t it just get a flight too?
      3 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Why don’t you put it in a jar
      3 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Damn he passed up a goddess tbh
      2 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I would go and eat it cause I wanna fucking die
      2 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • As an immortal snail i would just wait in a major city like new york or los angeles as he moves around the world eventually he will come to my city thinking hes outsmarted me and thinks he is safe when he has fallen into my trap
      2 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Dig a big hole and push the snail in with a broom. It will take a while for it to get unburied. If you could ever get it so the snail is far enough away that space is expanding between you and it faster than light, you’d be safe forever.
      lwpack 8 jul
      2 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Wow dumbass just put it in a box it’s not a strong snail and fully eh box with salt the snail won’t die but it will be to weak to move
      3 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • A super intelligent snail could do a lot with $1 million. I would be careful.
      Mickle1 8 jul
      2 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • If the snail is super intelligent wouldn’t it just take a plane
      DBG537 8 jul
      2 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • 2 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • If he knows witch is the snail he could just trap it in a locker box and bury it underground and Incase it with metal then concrete and simply burry it like40 ft underground or drop it into the Mariana Trench he would have the money to pay for this
      2 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Or just a thought you could pay someone to put the snail in a airtight box ,because it’s immortal it wont die
      2 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • A hyper intelligent snail could find a way to sneak onto a plane, bet. Youd be waiting your happy ass 7 years and that snail will pop up in 35 days.
      2 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Yeah but the snail is intelligent and wont be crawling the whole time. It could get on a plane and catch up to you really quickly
      Jheok 8 jul
      3 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Your phones fully charged unplug it already
      2 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Box.
      2 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Get on the ISS. Nobody is gonna let a snail onto an airplane
      1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Ok, but if it’s a super intelligent snail, it’s not gonna just dive into the ocean and try and float or crawl it’s way to you. It’s gonna hop on a damn boat or a plane and be there in hours or weeks depending. I’d just say screw the deal. That’s not that much money to deal with that anyways.
      berlin35 10 jul
      1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • idk who that girl is but if she gave me that response I would have fucking raw dogged ger
      1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Overseas.
      1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Why not just but it in a jar and then cover the jar in flex seal and cement
      1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • If the snail is super intelligent, the first thing it would know you would do is trap it. At some point, if your plan is not as conveluted as the snail's, the snail wins. If you try to hide, itll probably cause some accident to get to you, like a car collision. If you try to get a trusted personel-
      1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Guys, I’m watching up for the first time in a while and blimps are fuckin cool man, I started looking them up and it’s dope, like are differences between rigid and non-rigid and the completely solid ones are zeppelins the Heavy metal ones are zeppelins so that’s a dope band name
      1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I did the math on this a while back
      1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Imagine unmatching someone you know is good at money and numbers.
      1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • But why does the snail even want to touch you to begin with? If it was super intelligent, wouldn't it realize it was going to chase to
      Kyle454S 8 jul
      1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • 1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Put it in a jar, put that jar in a larger jar with it raised up off the floor of the jar by something, so if he ever wears through the first jar you have enough time to see it and replace it, or just always wear a morph suit since it has to touch you directly
      dfreid 8 jul
      2 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • It can just get on a boat or plane. Bruh.
      1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Hey friend can you put this snail in a jar for me?
      1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Its hyper intelligent, it would probably catch a plain ride to hawaii
      1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show

iFunny plug-in will teach your phone to smile

get on the iFunny app to roast them

All content related issues will be solved right here.
After all necessary information is provided, of course:

Complete the form below to notify iFunny of a claim relating to your intellectual property rights and content or some technical inconvenience with the service.
(Positive and productive feedback is appreciated as well).

Your details

Your relationships to the rights holder

Type of claim

Select
Copyright Trademark Nazi-related Offensive Technical difficulties Other
Describe the issue in detail. Please be specific.
Feeling poetic today? Feel free to provide more information
By clicking on "Submit" below, you are certifying the following statements:
  • I state that I have a good faith belief that use of the work(s) in the manner complained of is not authorized by the copyright owner, its agent, or the law.
  • I state that the information in this notification is accurate and, under penalty of perjury, that I am the owner of the exclusive right that is allegedly infringed, or an authorized agent for the owner.
  • I give my permission to pass my contact information to the alleged infringing party.

Privacy notice

For a list of the categories of personal information that we collect from you and how we use that information, please review iFunny’s privacy policy